Comment by Molly on 13 Nov 2009 at 9:28 am

Dear Karen,

Thank you so much for answering all these questions. I found courage to go to a therapist today. I was miserable. I was abused, raped and treated like trash. I got pregnant by my father and aborted my baby four months ago. I feel depressed and ashamed. I found your book at the library. I am eighteen and afraid my mother will blame me and call me a slut and whore. I wish I heard about your book before i abortioned but i thought if looking in the babies face would always remind me of my father and his rape of me. My mother doesn’t know. No one know but you and my new doctor. I am telling you because you gave me the courage to find my own help. I started therapy today with a nice lady therapist. I am afraid of going back because of what she might think of me but you kept going back so I will to. Thank you lovely lady. I love you for being brave to help people. I told my new therapist that Switching Time got me in there.

Molly in Alaska

Dear Molly,

You’re welcome. Thank you for your kind thoughts regarding my answering questions posted here. It is my hope to be helpful. I am glad you found courage to seek help for yourself. That is the important first step. Sounds like you found someone you believe can accompany you on your journey, please take your time and give therapy a chance.

I’m sorry for all that you experienced at the hands of your father. I understand your feelings and empathize with your pain. Though I never experienced a pregnancy from being raped, I feared becoming pregnant all the time. I believe I would also have had a difficult time deciding what to do if I became pregnant from rape. I can’t imagine myself carrying my father’s child. I would’ve felt devastated too. Please don’t be hard on yourself. I believe your choice was the best choice for you.

I’m not sure if I would’ve had the courage to take care of myself in the same situation. I thought over your decision regarding not sharing with your mother and believe you must know her best. If you were afraid to share, there must’ve been a good reason. I never shared my abuse with my mother for the same reason. I believe my own mother would’ve blamed me and accused me of wrong-doing.

I am glad to hear that you found a good therapist to build a relationship of trust. Please know that therapy is difficult in the beginning, and can also be difficult as you heal. Faith in myself and having the desire to heal kept me going. Time and again I would faithfully attend my sessions whether I wanted to or not, and eventually my therapy became my release and sense of calm.  I admit, there were many sessions where I felt badly for sharing details of my abuse. I felt unclean, miserable, and worried greatly about what Dr. Baer thought of me. Many times I questioned whether my therapist believed me. During my therapeutic years Dr. Baer listened, never judged me, and unconditionally cared for me. Therapy turned out to be a blessing, and for that I am grateful.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your own personal journey to wellness.

Karen