Comment by Becky on 09 Dec 2009 at 3:26 pm

Dear Karen,

I am fifteen. I know something terrible happened to me when I was little. I know this because I have recurring nightmares and don’t feel well enough about myself. I am shy, hide my body under large clothes and even gained weight not to appear attractive. I don’t like to be touched and fear all men. But I don’t remember specifics only creepy feelings of things that could have happened but without detail. I read your story and it answered some fears. I know I was abused. Don’t know what to do about it or who to tell. Don’t want to accuse anyone because of your good advice in someone elses answer. I am glad you are here.

Becky

Dear Becky,

I understand. I can empathize with you regarding triggered memories and recurring nightmares. I’ve had them, too. I started having flashbacks during my teens but often ignored them. While in my twenties, I could no longer deny nor ignore all that I recalled. My memories were clear, my nightmares were organized, and I knew the sad truth.  It was also at that time I knew I needed to seek professional help. I believe you are very brave for recognizing and accepting where your distress may be coming from.

I’m sorry to hear that you may have been abused, but I’m glad to hear that you have taken a mature attitude and are in the process of the journey to help yourself. Please know that your dark thoughts will come and go while in the process of healing. Though I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, I believe you are on the right path. Those creepy feelings you are experiencing are coming from somewhere within you. There is a reason you are having a hard time. Therapy can help release the tension that is building.

Memories can be tricky. It’s best to sort out your memories with a qualified therapist before making accusations on someone. It’s always best to be sure of the facts first.

Trust your instincts., they’re usually right.

Thank you for sharing. I wish you peace.

Karen