Comment by Ava on 13 Dec 2009 at 10:21 am

Dear Karen,

Finished my class finals and passed. I did my paper on you and received the highest grade in class. I had to let you know this blog of yours gave me an entire book of notes. I would’nt have passed without you! The book was one part but getting to know you through your answers gave me a chance to add in depth more about the personal side of you without ever meeting you. I’d love to meet you someday! You are the best person to share your story. Merry Christmas and A Blessed New Year!

Hugs and more hugs to you. I’m glad Dr. Baer hugged you in the end. I thought it was highly wrong of him and cruel not to hug you all through your years of healing. It was his loss and was his inability to love anyone but himself. I hope you finally came to realize the selfishness of his actions. My therapist always showed affection and there were no ill effects. I would’ve been devastated having Dr. Baer as my therapist if he refused me the affection needed to heal. You are an amazingingly strong woman. Love you!

Ava

Baltimore, MD

Dear Ava,

Congratulations! That’s great news! Passing your final with your report on me put a smile on my face, thanks for sharing.  I know I’ve answered hundreds of questions here but I had no idea how much was revealed about me personally. I guess I am an open “book,” and proud of it. For me, having people understand who I am and where I came from, survived from, and how I healed is important in helping others gain their own strength to move forward. I am happy for you.

I’m glad Dr. Baer hugged me in the end, too! I really needed to feel that human touch and only wished he had hugged me during therapy. I have mixed feelings regarding not receiving his hug during therapy. I, too, felt hurt and thought that it was selfish on his part, but I also understood why he couldn’t hug me, for ethical reasons. It would’ve been nice for me, but professionally, not for him. I respected that, though I always felt he was wrong about the hugging issue.

I believe the hug issue was more Dr. Baer’s issue than mine. It continues to bring tears to my eyes whenever I think of all those years needing a bit of comfort from him and not receiving it. Nevertheless, all turned out well in the end and I finally received my long desired hug. That moment meant more to me than anything. Why? Because for me, it was at that moment that I actually felt he cared for and accepted me. Human touch is very important. Dr. Baer always did the best he could.

Thank you for asking this difficult question. I believe there is nothing wrong with a therapist giving their client a simple hug, although Dr. Baer would ask when, if ever, a hug was “simple.”

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

Karen