Comment by Maureen on 22 Dec 2009 at 8:07 pm

Hi Karen,

Are you a christian or a jew or a muslim or a mormon or another? Do you find yourself wondering what religion to follow after integration and coming from a catholic background. Did you ever question your faith and what to follow? If I were you and I’m glad I’m not I would not be catholic after being raised under false pretenses. Whatever your choice is none of my business. I don’t want to offend you. I actually admire you and want to know because you have such a strong faith that leads you to help others all the time. If you didn’t believe you wouldn’t care so much. How can an abused person ever believe in God? Did you ever question God’s decisions?

Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Happy Holidays! Happy all of the above!

Love you, Maureen

Dear Maureen,

Good questions! I don’t believe anyone has asked me these questions before. I believe in God. He did not cause my abuse, but most certainly helped me survive by bestowing a most sophisticated coping mechanism that fragmented my episodes of abuse until I was mature enough to deal with them in the safety of therapy. God doesn’t stop us from hurting each other, but He does comfort us while we heal.

I am a Christian, raised Catholic, and have asked myself the very same questions you ask. During my high school years I didn’t know what to believe. I was raised in a Catholic church that didn’t treat me well. I attended services at a Lutheran church where I was treated kindly and I even thought of becoming a Mormon like Donny Osmond. I was confused and wandered in and out trying to find a place of worship where I felt accepted. I was searching for unconditional love when I realized that God had never left me.

I believe. I have faith and know that I’ve been graced by God’s presence many times over. I am a survivor. My religion is kindness. I visit different churches. My work includes working with pastors of six different faiths. Where do I belong? Nowhere in particular. God loves me and watches over me. My belief is keeping God within my heart, always and forever.

Thank you for your honesty, for admiring me, and for your curiosity. I learned something more about myself from your questions.

Karen