Comment by Wendy on 15 Jan 2010 at 12:14 pm

karen,
how are you? i am gena, a alter, trying to decide how to end my life. i am twelve and if i end my life the others will be better off without me. the owner of our body is thirty five and there are six of us. me, zac 15, louie 6, josie belle, 3, penny 33 and joanie 35. what can i do to go away without hurting the others? i don’t feel well. Our doctor wants to talk to me but I don’t want to talk to him. I never come out. Don’t trust him. Don’t like him to. We read book about you, how did everybody learn to like dr. baer? i am important. you are important to me. if you tell me to talk i will.

Wendy

Dear Gena, Wendy and family,

Thank you for writing to me! Gena, at twelve you may not realize that if you end your own life you will end the lives of all of the alters including the one who harbors you. All alters will die. You, Zac, Louie, Josie Belle, Penny, Joanie and Wendy.  No one will be better off because no one will be left to exist and carry on. Please know that you are only one part of a complex system that needs each one of you for survival. In other words, you can’t end your life without hurting the others.

Please be brave and speak to your therapist. I believe he will help you understand what you can look forward to when you and the others integrate and all merge into one. It’s amazing Gena, there will be peace, you’ll no longer carry your pain alone. You will have a sense of calm that is remarkable and free of past abuse. Your pain will be diluted.

I understand how difficult it is to trust your doctor. I’ve been there, too! I didn’t exactly like Dr. Baer the first time we met. I didn’t share my past with him immediately. It took time for me and my alters to build trust with him. Once we realized Dr. Baer was a benefit to us and had every good intention to hear us, we developed an unbreakable bond of trust. Once I knew he wasn’t going to give up on us I felt a sense of calm. It was at that time that my alters and I shared and accepted him to help us on our journey to wellness. It’s takes time and teamwork to heal. Sometimes you need to take a chance in order to move forward.

Wishing you a safe and healing journey. I have faith in you. I believe you can do this.

Karen