Comment by Vivica on 05 Jan 2010 at 4:19 pm

Hello Karen,

I am a student interested in becoming a psychologist. I read most of your answers below after reading “A Life in Pieces”. In high school you appear to have changed for the better after a revelation came to you that you were abused. I admire your courage to take stand for yourself. I have one question? What else happened during your teenage years that lessened the abuse you suffered by your father?

I am proud to know you thru this blog. Thank you kindly.

Vivica, UK

Dear Vivica,

Thank you for your question. Yes, there were more than a few changes in my life during my high school years that lessened my abuse. For one, my father suffered a stroke during my sophomore year that decreased his ability to hurt me. I watched this aggressive manipulative man become dependent on his family to eat and take care of himself. During the several months it took for my father to recover, he changed. I became stronger, and he withdrew from me in fear that I would now retaliate and expose him. I never did, but he now believed me to be a threat. The table had slightly turned. My father continued to be verbally abusive, most likely whenever he didn’t get his way. My siblings and I bonded and fought for ourselves. My father never fully came back to his old self. He had become too weak from his illness. I was free from sexual abuse at last.

There are many changes that happen as we mature and grow. For me, high school proved to be a new awakening. I learned more about life, people, who I was, and what kind of person I wanted to be. I learned to be kind despite the cruelty bestowed upon me. I was never a bad child. I was a compliant child and harm came my way. I survived and grew with alter help and by absorbing the good in people that I’d come to know through the years. High School was a blessing; I loved my teachers and they were fond of me. I gained strength during those years while continuing to balance my fragmented life.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and for being proud of me.

Karen