Comment by Brian on 29 Jan 2010 at 5:01 pm

Hi Karen.

I read your book for class and my questions are:

1. If you were a child victim of abuse and rape and didn’t know you were being abused and raped then how could it affect you as being abused or raped?

2. Isn’t it true that you need to know what’s happening to you to know would be affected by it?

3. If you didn’t know about everything then how did your mind create alters when there was no knowledge present of wrongdoing?

4. How do you explain your ability to create your way of coping?

Thanks much.

Brian

New Buffalo, MI

Dear Brian,

Thank you for your challenging questions. I will attempt to answer them as best I can. A child doesn’t understand the act of rape. I never knew or understood that I was being raped. For me, as a child, it was all about being traumatized and being forced to comply. A child doesn’t need to understand what is happening to her, a child simply believes that the abusers act out of love, painful love. A child doesn’t know any better. As for me, I believed all children were treated the same. It was confusing, and I didn’t know any better. I was a child and hadn’t developed a true sense of right and wrong.

I’m not sure how to explain my creation of multiplicity. It’s an incomprehensible illness. I’m not a therapist and can’t answer professionally, but in my opinion, I believe my alters were created from the trauma that came from being manipulated, sexually abused and controlled, day in and day out, in a persistent manner. I believe my mind created a sophisticated coping mechanism that fragmented my abuse into pieces, like a puzzle before being put together. These puzzle pieces were divided up between my alters with each alter sharing part of my memory, until I was able to deal with it all in a safe manner.

I hope I have answered your questions.

Karen