Comment by Mrs. M., Seattle, WA on 30 Jan 2010 at 8:53 am

Dear Karen,

You inspire me. I learned more about you from your answers here. I followed your progress and have gained my strength through hearing about yours. I had a son in the Marines like you. I am comforted by your stories and faith in your journey. Not only have you overcome horrific abuse, gone through a divorce, been mis-treated at so many levels, supported your son during his entire life and through war, a daughter through college and God only knows what else? You are the strongest woman I know. I lost my son in Iraq two months ago. Today out of nowhere I thought of you again. I re-read your story today, it took eight hours. I tried to find the part about your Marine son and it wasn’t in the book.I feel a connection to your compassionate ways. I figured what I was looking for was in your blog answers but don’t know where your answer is that shared about your son serving in Iraq. I know it is somewhere in all these questions but could you please share what your thoughts were if you lost your son in Iraq? Do you have letters from your son when he was there or pictures? I have none.Thank you for being a survivor of abuse, a survivor of manipulation, a survivor as a mom of a Marine, a survivor to get out of a hatred relationship. How do you survive? What is your secret? I found a little peace watching the respect the miltary showed in a movie. I didn’t know what happens when a fallen soldier is transported home. My son was transported home. Like in the movie Taking Chance. Did you see it? I am proud of my son’s service. He was 23. I think you are very brave. I suffered the loss of my son, never been abused but feel abused. Please pray for me. I will pray for you.

Mrs. M. Seattle, WA

Dear Mrs. M,

I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I know how proud you must be of him for making the commitment to serve our country. Please know that your son died an honorable death and will always be remembered and respected for his service. I have shared some information about my son’s Marine tours here on my blog. I have always believed in him and said often that if my son would have been killed, I would be proud of him for dying for our country. Losing a child is the worse pain a mother can experience: whether in war, accident; or by illness. As parents we never think of losing our children. We can’t control when death comes, but we can continue to honor those who die though keeping their memory in a good light.

Thank you for reading my story again, but the part of my son’s service as a Marine in Iraq was not included in the book. In the book, my journey stopped after integration and only included a summary of the years afterwards. My son’s service started in 2001. He was in one of the very first units to cross into Iraq, on the first day of the war. My son sent letters and pictures and I have always treasured them. I was fortunate.

Today I rented the movie “Taking Chance” and watched it. I understand now how you felt. I, too, believe that our military treats our fallen soldiers with the utmost respect. I never knew that each fallen soldier is accompanied personally back home. The movie brought tears to my eyes. I have great respect for you, your son, and all those who took care of him on his journey back home.

You have asked how I survived all that I have endured?  One day at a time, without looking back to the dark times and trying to hold on to good memories. I try my best to live in the present and look forward in faith toward my future.

I believe at this time you are feeling abused because you are hurting. Grief can feel like abuse. I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but I encourage you to seek someone to discuss your thoughts and feelings during this time.

Please take care of yourself and know that I will be praying for you.

Wishing you all my best!

Karen