Comment by Kevin on 08 Feb 2010 at 10:14 pm

Hi Karen,

What’s up? What do you think of Oprah having an panel of child molesting sex perverts on her show today? Will you be watching it? I would like to read your reaction. I am a recovered child molester. I was sexually abused at thirteen and abused an eleven year old girl when I was eighteen. I never knew it was abuse until in prison. I was jailed and released in two months eight years ago. I am married now. I never hurt another child. If shows like this were aired years ago and you saw them would your story read different? Would children know what abuse is?

Kevin

Dear Kevin,

I am glad that Oprah’s guests shared the truth about how child molesters groom their victims. Though an hour show could not get into the true depth of an abuser’s mind, this show was a much-needed glimpse into how a sex offender operates. I believe it gave most parents a rude awakening as to what to watch for. There are signs if we pay attention.

The show prompted me to become deep in thought about my own abuse. What had drawn my abusers to me? I know I was a vulnerable ill child. I was an innocent who needed love, nurturing, comfort, and attention.  Though no two cases are alike, there was a familiarity in the mindset of those predators. But my abusers were especially mean and evil-spirited. They often forced themselves on me, and physically hurt and abused me in addition to the sexual abuse. I dissociated to survive. My mind created alters to help me separate from the horror I experienced

I’m not sure whether the men on Oprah’s show can be healed. I don’t believe so. Their abusive thoughts will always be there even if not acted on. My abusers abused other girls before me and after me.

I am glad you are living your life well after prison. I can empathize with your feelings since you were once a victim yourself and hadn’t learned well the difference between right and wrong. I’m not saying that I don’t believe you are cured, but I would feel much better knowing you will be in counseling forever.

I can’t change the past, but I believe that if knowledge of sexual abuse was aired on television or taught in schools when I was young, my story may have been different. I may have had someone who listened to me. I may have not feared sharing the truth. I may have been saved and my abusers imprisoned for life. But I won’t dwell on the “what ifs.” That would most certainly affect my newfound self-esteem. During my childhood no one talked about such issues or believed a child over an adult. I’m glad education is being provided these days. I pray for the safety of all our children.

Thank you for sharing.

Karen