Comment by Carolyn on 05 Feb 2010 at 10:48 am

Karen,

I dont understand how you manage to live when reality sucks. What makes you go on? Dont you think being abused takes forever and a day to heal from? I am a victim of abuse and all the years in therapy never changed the fact. I continue to hurt after the therapy ended. Problem is everyone believes me to be cured. Do the people in your life expect more from you? Do the people in your life expect you to be perfect? I am sure you understand me. I wish the people in my life would. I am inspired by you. I can safely say I know you can hurt from the same pain of long ago. 
Never give up Karen.

Carolyn

Dear Carolyn,

I understand how some people may believe that reality sucks. It does at times, and that’s being realistic.  If life were easy to live, then what would be the purpose of trying our very best to succeed with faith, strength, and endurance? We all have the capability to improve our lives. We just need to do it.

I agree, it does take forever and a day to heal from abuse. How do I manage my pain? I simply get up each day and move forward, hoping and praying I can overcome each obstacle that gets in my way.  Life for me, as well as for all those who have been abused, is a continual challenge.

When my therapeutic relationship ended, I continued to have a bad days.  It would’ve been unrealistic for me to believe that at the end of therapy I would be “cured.” I will continue to learn something new about myself each day, one step at a time, slow and steady. That’s the only way I can live my life.

Many of my family and friends assumed I would be perfect after my therapy ended. No one is perfect. What they wanted me to be I could not be. I am the best person I can be. And for me that is a miracle.

Please never give up. I won’t.  You can only try your best to keep the pain of the past where it belongs–in the past. Live each day and look forward to your future. That’s what I try to do!

Thank you for your thought provoking questions.

Karen