Comment by Nicole S. on 15 Mar 2010 at 12:33 pm

dear karen,

sending you the hugs you didn’t receive from you know who before the end. i am in therapy and my therapist hugs me good-bye after each visit. i never took it the wrong way. and can’t see why dr. baer deprived you of something you would surely have felt in a good way. he may be a great doctor to you but to me if he cared he would have hugged you. do you feel hurt from him. you do know he has issues with people don’t you. any man doctor or not who can’t show affection has issues of his own. dont you agree

nicole s.

Dear Nicole,

Thank you for the hug! I truly appreciate your concern over Dr. Baer not giving me hugs during my therapeutic years. Dr. Baer felt his lack of hugging me was in my best interest. I disagree. Dr. Baer and I discussed the hugging issue many times and I still don’t see a problem with a simple act of kindness and compassion in the form of a hug. It was Dr. Baer’s issue, not mine.

Dr. Baer believed one hug would lead to another and I would want and require more. I believe he was wrong. I know myself and would not have wanted more from him. Dr. Baer was always a father figure to me. I trusted him and respected his decision not to hug me, but that didn’t erase the pain of rejection.

Dr. Baer has done more than anyone else has done for me, but it still hurts me to think about it. I believe Dr. Baer did the best he could to help me.

I’m glad to hear you have not suffered any ill effects from your therapist’s hugs. I believe if Dr. Baer hugged me and certain feelings arose, it would’ve been better to have dealt with those feelings in the safety of therapy.

Thank you for your questions and compliments.

Karen