Comment by Henry James on 15 Apr 2010 at 1:05 am

Hello Karen,

I am a psychologist with one patient suffering from D.I.D. I have read Switching Time and found it very informative. Despite my first negative thoughts I was amazed to gain knowledge while reading your story. What I would like to know is how you managed to make all appointments on time for eighteen years. How was that possible? What would happen if Baer or an alter cancelled or not be on time? My patient is rarely on time. She claims her alters mess up her time and schedules. Her lateness is a distraction. How did Baer manage to keep you coming and on time? How do you explain your success in integration? How could I get in touch with Baer for advice and consultation?

Dear Henry James,

Thank you for asking about time! Being on time has always been an important part of my survival and healing. I am an on-time person, and always have been. I was lucky that Dr. Baer was an on-time person, too! During my many years of losing time and trying to make my way through each day, it was very important for me to be on time. My system of survival depended on it.

If I was frequently late, my multiplicity would have been noticed and I would have attracted attention to myself. As a multiple, timing meant everything. In my opinion, being on time means respecting other people. When a therapist commits to therapy with a multiple, the art of healing through communication is so fragile that it is important that lateness not become an added issue.  Respect is of utmost importance.  Both therapist and patient need to respect each other. Lateness has always been a pet peeve of mine.

I’m not sure how to explain why your patient claims her alters make her late all the time. That wasn’t a part of how my system worked. My alters worked hard to keep me functioning. I learned to be on time very early in life. I continue in the same way today. I can’t think of Dr. Baer ever being late for our therapy sessions. Once he called me to let me know he might be five minutes late. That call made him on time to me.

In my opinion, therapy requires teamwork and if one side of the team can’t be on time, frustration causes chaos and no one heals.

Thank you for your questions. You can reach Dr. Baer through my blog or through Facebook.

Karen