Comment by Tina on 14 Apr 2010 at 9:16 pm

One of the things I’ve always wanted to ask a person with DID is that it seems most of those suffering from this have total and complete amnesia when it comes to stepping out as the different alter. Is this normally the case? Do you know of people who are aware of their alters as they are out?

Thanks for being so open in your journey.

Dear Tina,

Thank you for your question. I’m not sure about having total and complete amnesia, but I did not recall what happened during a switch until years into therapy when, under hypnosis, a few alters agreed to be co-conscious.  During that time I was not aware but knew, through hypnosis, that a few alters were out at the same time together. For me, this attempt at co-consciousness caused too much chaos.

I am unique, just as each multiple is unique. In my opinion, based on my own personal experience, no two alters were out at the same time. They switched in and out, back and forth, depending on which part was needed at a particular time, and that worked for my system.  My alters were created to help me survive in a world I wanted no part of until my healing began. My alters wrote me notes, journaled, kept appointment books, and did all that was necessary for me to get through each day, one day at a time. My alters were far from perfect, but then are any of us perfect? I am grateful to have survived with their help.

I have met only two other multiples in person, and each shared with me a different story. I can’t imagine many alters sharing the same space in time. That might sound like a contradiction coming from a multiple, but I believe too many alters out at the same time would defeat the purpose for a complex system based on dissociation: the sole reason alters are created.

Thank you for your compliments.  It’s my hope my story brings awareness and knowledge of multiplicity.

Karen