Comment by Justine on 19 Jul 2010 at 7:01 pm

Dear Karen,

I read Switching Time in one day. It was the most amazing book I have ever read. Your strength has helped me so much! I was molested as a child by my mothers boyfriend (most was suppressed memory until recently) and in some way your story helped me move on. I was wondering (if this is personal I apologize) do you ever miss the other personalities. I have a Charlie and sometimes he is nice….but other times not so much…..we had an argument today about suicide. I told him we cant do that…that if he kills me he dies too…he wasn’t too happy when I said that. My therapist knows about him…not what we talk about…just that he talks to me…alot…he’s been really angry these past few days (a few of my triggers were pulled and he’s frustrated) I just….guess I’m wondering how you coped with all of them and if he goes away would I miss him.

Justine

Dear Justine,

Thank you for sharing your concerns with me. My alters merged within me, so I am my alters, and my alters are me.  Altogether we are one woman. I don’t miss my past individual alters, as they once were, because they are and will always be a part of me. But I do, at times, miss the idea of having an alter to escape to. There are times when reality becomes difficult and I wonder what it would be like to lose time to an alter. After a temporary, misguided moment of fantasy I come to my senses. My alters were unique, individual, much loved and needed during my childhood, but caused chaos in my adult life.

I remember the inner arguments my alters had with each other, and found speaking to my therapist was the best way to help resolve those issues. Most likely there has been a misunderstanding that has led to your alter disagreement. Once it’s cleared up and you’re guided in the right direction, all should settle down. At least for me, talking through my thoughts with Dr.Baer helped defuse my thoughts of suicide. Your therapist is working to help you. Please don’t hide these feelings from him. Share with your therapist what you’ve shared with me.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your journey to healing.

Karen