Comment by SoulWind on 25 Sep 2010 at 5:50 pm

I believe that most of us struggle with the concept of love. We came from an environment where trust is betrayed, and trust is so interwoven with love. We don’t feel you can find true intimacy with another without trust, so it stands to reason the confused feelings many of us have related to trying to love someone or allowing oneself to be loved. After many years of therapy we came to a crossroad, a decision to continue the hate and anger, or attempt to redefine what love is or should be again. It is not an easy path to walk.

SoulWind

Dear SoulWind,

I agree loving someone and feeling loved is not an easy path to walk once one has suffered horrific abuse. Actually, love is not easy for most. For me trust and love are different. I can love someone but not trust him or her. Trust is harder for me to establish than love. After suffering abuse and struggling through years of therapy, I’m amazed that I’m able to love unconditionally. The odds of my ability to do so should be slim to none.

I’ve met many people who can’t love anyone but him or herself. That saddens me. Some believe that to love someone means to be sexually intimate. Not true. Love is love. And for those who can’t admit to loving someone: how sad for them. Why? Because love is the sole reason we’re here. I believe one act of kindness at a time can help change anger and hate to love.

I’m incapable of hating and harboring anger toward those who’ve betrayed me. Maybe I should, but I can’t think of a reason that maintaining anger could benefit me. I believe that God loves me unconditionally and helped me survive against great odds by creating a incomprehensible coping mechanism. Of course, I’m human and get my feelings hurt. But I’m here for a reason. And love is one of those reasons.

It’s my desire to encourage hope through sharing my story…

Thank you for sharing your thoughts,

Karen