Comment by Carson on 28 Sep 2010 at 7:43 pm

karen,

what if you were able to drum up your alters again? which alters would you choose? any favorites? i would think it best to keep a few. why didn’t you? did your doctor baer talk you into integration or did you decide with your group of alters? you are one fascinating chic. awesome reading your story.

carson
, south carolina

Dear Carson,

Interesting questions! If I had kept a few alters and didn’t integrate all of them, then I would not be complete and feel whole. The sole purpose of integration was to become one. My alters were no longer needed to help me survive as they once were during my childhood. Time and again as an adult my alters would cause chaos because they really did not understand the reality of the adult world. My alters did a great job protecting me, but now that I am an adult I can deal with my problems in an adult way.

To answer your question about which alter I would’ve like to keep separate, I’d most likely choose Holdon, the last alter integrated. Why? Because Holdon seemed to know more about everything, including me. But honestly, he too grew tired and was unable to keep up without the other alters. His job was done. Dr. Baer never talked me into integration. Dr. Baer suggested the possibility, my alters decided it was best.

Thank you for your compliments.

Karen