Comment by B. Carlin on 14 Oct 2010 at 7:10 am

Hey Karen you are the most interesting woman I have ever read about. Your determination to live even through suicidal ideations is a miracle yet to be told. I have often wanted to take my own life. As a matter of fact I recently felt life sucks and it was my best choice to end my suffering. I am asking you what changes your mind and how far have you come to almost doing it? I don’t know what stopped me this time but I do know that just before I did stop I thought of you. Something made me think of you so I turned the lights on and all appeared bright. I admire your way of getting into my soul without even knowing it. I read your book two years ago and swear it was your story that made me feel guilty to end my life. Keep it up whatever it is you do to discretely do as you share your life story with us. Switching Time is the best book to read if anyone thinks they have nothing to contribute while living and think their death will help. Death wont help me today. I chose to live. Thank you, Karen Overhill. Thank you Richard Baer for being patient with Karen during all her threats to suicide. Guilt is an amazing gift don’t ever forget it.

B. Carlin

Georgia

Dear B. Carlin,

Thank you for being honest and sharing your thoughts, while feeling low enough to have thoughts of suicide. Though Dr. Baer has taught me that suicide thoughts are okay to have as long as you don’t take action on them, I have worn myself down fighting the idea that I would be better off dead. Please excuse my bluntness, but I continue to have bad moments now and then, and sometimes the first thought that comes to me is to end my life. But I always step back and “turn” on the lights, as you expressed. Pushing myself into feeling optimistic is a must during those dark moments; but it is possible.

What do I do? I take a deep breath and try to understand where my dark thoughts come from. Most of the time they come from a fear of the unknown. I may be afraid to tackle something. I may feel insecure or may even wish not to accept feeling good. It’s never the same dark thought twice, but remarkably I know deep down those thoughts do not belong in my present. My dark thoughts belong in my past, and my future holds no room for them. But I put up a W.A.L.L. (Wait A Little Longer) before acting. After years of healing, putting up a WALL has become as natural to me as getting out of bed each day. The dark thoughts soon subside, are forgotten, and disappear. Living with past abuse is a life long journey. Therapy doesn’t cure what happened to you, but it helps you live your life to your best ability.

Guilt? Maybe in this instance that’s a good thing for you and me. I don’t mean for you to feel guilty because I’ve gotten inside your heart and soul, but I am proud to be of help. I am glad to hear that something prevented you from taking you life. I’m glad that you’re alive.

Wishing you all my best on your own journey to wellness.

Karen