Comment by Will on 31 Oct 2010 at 6:06 pm

Hi Karen,

I am currently taking a class on abusive relationships (working toward becoming a mental health counselor). For a class project I decided to use your story as a case example for trauma survivors who are diagnosed with DID. I am impressed with the progress you have made working with Dr. Baer!

Is there anything you believe would be worth emphasizing about your journey? Anything you believe would help other abuse survivors?

I hope all is well with you and that you are able to continue making progress in your recovery!

Best Wishes,

Will

Dear Will,

Thank you for sharing, for your well wishes, and for choosing to use my story as a case example! I will share what I can in hope to help. Please know that you can befriend me on Facebook for more information. It is my desire to encourage hope through sharing my story.

There are more than a few things that are worth emphasizing about my story to help other abuse survivors. I will share a few thoughts though I am not a therapist and by no means will comment other than from my own personal experience.

In my experience I would share that manipulation was a common thread in my life before, during, and after therapy. If not careful, I can fall victim time and again. As a one time victim, my life continues on as a never ending reminder of what once was. But the difference therapy made is that when dark moments resurface I am able to acknowledge them, deal with them, and make sure they stay in my past, while at the same time not allowing my past to ruin my present or future. Abuse is abuse. It never really goes away. I believe healing for an abused person is a life long journey. I continue to have a bad moment now and then, but do my best to move forward and live my life to the best of my ability.

The most important thing I learned was to recognize that I am no longer a victim. I can’t change what happened to me but I can change the way I deal with it. If I allow the pain of past into my present then my abusers won and I am imprisoned. Letting go is hard. But constantly feeling like a victim is worse than all.

It takes time to heal. There is no cure but to take time for yourself and patience. There were many days when I felt like giving up. I felt like I had lost faith and hope. But I didn’t. It was simply hidden in heart break. Repeatedly I had to step back from myself and re-think thoughts of suicide. I needed help, sought it out, and received the best care. I was fortunate. It is my hope all can receive the unconditional care that I have. Time heals.

Thank you for asking.

Karen