Comment by Jeannine on 14 Nov 2010 at 5:20 pm

I am studying your book right now for my abnormal psychology class. I never believed in your illness until I read your book. It is thoroughly written by two great people you and your doctor. I am wondering if you think backwards and wish you saved a few alters and not integrate all of them? Do you ever wonder where your life would be if you kept a few alters on the inside?

Thank you, Jeannine

Dear Jeannine,

Thank you for your compliments! Isn’t knowledge great! I believe that by learning from each other and sharing stories we can help each other. My alters were amazing, but as I healed they were no longer needed to compartmentalize parts of me into separate selves. I never lost my alters. My alters merged within me. My alters will always be a part of me, for my alters are me. We are one. The only difference in integration is that they no longer are separate from one another and lead individual lives.

I admit, I did secretly wish to keep a few alters and not integrate all of them, but that was nonsense and wishful thinking. Holdon was my last alter to integrate and he stayed for a while before his integration. I thought I could keep him but I knew it was best to be one woman. I did not function well with one alter. If an alter or two remained, I would not have been able to be my best integrated self. My alters helped me survive at a time when I could not. I am grateful for that. I am also grateful to live my life as one.

Thank you for your questions,

Karen