Karen answers Sweet Tea
Richard Baer on Jan 9th 2011
Comment by Sweet Tea on 15 Nov 2010 at 1:15 am
My doctor, Colin Ross, gave a review on your book so I decided to read it. I am not going to use my real name because I do not want Dr. Ross to be mad at me for writing to you, but I just watched his documentary on D.I.D. and the woman portrayed has stolen from you. Did you see it? I am another one of Dr. Ross’s patients with alters and would like to meet you. I read your blog regularly and found you hold more wisdom and knowledge needed for people like us than most doctors. Have you ever met Dr. Ross? Has your Dr. Baer? Where do you live? If possible could you talk to Dr. Ross and help him with his D.I.D. patients? I believe in you Miss Karen. I believe you can be a great asset to all medical doctors with D.I.D. patients. I don’t know you personally but feel as if I do. You are a kind spirit. I know you’d want to help us. Your story is more amazing than Paula’s. I hope you are all right today since integration. Does integration mean you are fully recovered?
Sweet Tea (not my real name)
Dear Sweet Tea,
After receiving your email I searched for Dr. Colin Ross’s documentary and watched it for myself. No one has stolen from me. As a matter of fact, most of us who have suffered from multiple personality disorder, now renamed dissociative identity disorder, have had similar experiences. The woman portrayed on Dr. Ross’s documentary was simply sharing her story. My story may appear similar, but our experiences are far from the same.
I am honored by your request to meet me. Maybe that can happen some day. I have written Dr. Ross and hope to meet him, too. It would be nice for us to chat, since I’m integrated and functioning as one. I hope that in meeting him, we could help each other with many unanswered questions. Though I am not a therapist, it continues to be my desire to encourage hope through sharing my story.
Integration does not mean full recovery. Integration means that the alters have merged and are no longer needed as their separate selves. I had lots of therapy after integration to help me get the rest of my life in order. My ex-alters will always be a part of me. I did not lose my alters, my alters and me are now the same woman. The only difference is, I’m functioning without dissociation. I no longer need alter help.
Thank you for all of your kind thoughts and compliments! I truly appreciate your support!
Wishing you all my best!
Karen
Dear Karen:
Did you experience people who believed you were indeed multiple but the “memories” you described didn’t really happen? Colin Ross actually told me in person once that satanic rituals didn’t really happen because “there is no evidence for it.” I almost fell out of my chair. I don’t believe he was saying that the memories weren’t exactly accurate, which is probably true. There are always distortions in memories. I think he was saying Satanic abuse doesn’t really exist–it’s a product of trauma and the subconscious creation of “memories” to explain the feelings.
I think this is baloney. I have talked to many people with DID who describe satanic rituals in great detail. The thing that is most interesting to me is that they all describe similar things–being triggered on Halloween, the soltices and the equinoxes, sacrificing animals, bizarre sexual rituals, being told they were evil–the devil, etc. How could so many people tell such similar stories and there “be no evidence” that these events really occurred?
I am a college professor. I had a student in my program once whom I identified as multiple within a month of knowing her. When I asked about her abuse, she told me she had participated in satanic rituals, both as the abused and as the abuser. I mentioned that this had happened long ago, to which she replied, “no, I was active in Satanic rituals as recently as 6 months ago.” She had just been released from the hospital.
Thank y0u for telling your story. There are many therapists out there who do not believe in DID, but even some who do, do not believe the events you described actually happened. I had a friend once whose therapist believed her memories for years, but then she met up with some “expert” who told her there “was no way to determine one way or the other.” This therapist told her patient that she no longer could tell her she believed her memories anymore. I was appalled. Needless to say, this revelation devastated my friend, and it ultimately destroyed their therapeutic relationship.
Since so many multiples have been told by their abusers that no one would believe them, I believe it is important for therapists to BELIEVE what clients tell them–even if the fine details may or not be accurate. You might ask Colin Ross what he thinks about the reality of Satanic rituals now (my talk with him was about 10 years ago.)