Comment by Danielle on 16 Jan 2011 at 4:10 pm

Hi Karen

I read your story and am inspired by you. I am a student of psychology and thought your story opened up pandora’s box, so to speak. LOL As my class debated your illness and successful integration I wondered how you managed to keep your therapist in control. This may sound off balance coming from a psych major but the tension that surrounded your therapy had to have been difficult for you and your doctor. The fascination I have is did you actively remain cautious about how much to share and when? Were you able to read your therapist and act accordingly? How did you approach an issue when your therapist was having a bad day? Could you tell when he was ill? If you could did you change the flow of your therapy to suit his needs? I bet you did. Love your answers here on your blog. You are one fascinating woman. Can’t wait to read your next book.

Danielle

Dear Danielle,

Love your question! Keep my therapist in control! Now that’s a first! I don’t believe I kept my therapist in control, but I can totally recall I may have been overly cautious as to what I shared at any given time. I will try to explain this.

The answers to all your questions is—yes. I admit I was able to read Dr. Baer. Most of the time, Dr. Baer had an excellent way of shielding me from trying to read him, but I always knew more than I should. I believe this being attuned to people in general came from my having to constantly be aware and prepared during my abusive childhood. For survival, I had to learn early on how to read people. Dr. Baer was no exception, but quite frankly my therapy worked because he was an excellent therapist when I needed one.

The truth? Yes, I knew when Dr. Baer felt ill and if I sensed Dr. Baer was having a bad day, I shared less. I could tell within the first few minutes of each session how much to share. But that is great therapy, us working together as a team to heal me. Though Dr. Baer worked hard at keeping his thoughts and feelings private, I knew that he knew that I was attuned to him, and he adjusted to that to be the therapist I needed him to be at that time. Nevertheless, being a multiple can be quite frightening and it took an exhausting amount of energy between us for me to share. I had to be sure he could take me on. My alters as well as myself were relentless at times. I’m sure working with a multiple patient can spiritually drain any therapist. I can only guess that based on the fact that I felt drained myself after each session. But Dr. Baer hid his stress well.

Thank you for your question. In the sequel to Switching Time, I’ll share more stories like this.

Karen