Comment by Stanley on 26 Jan 2011 at 4:22 am

Is this Karen really the real Karen Overhill? If you are I would like to know if you believe people who sexually abuse children can change. I was a rapist done my time for ten years and released to an unforgiving world. My past actions have condemned me and in prison I learned about why I did what I did. I am a twenty nine year old male who was raped by my grandfather. I act like a multiple personality to maintain sanity. If I pretend the rapist was a part of me no longer exisiting then I can move forward. If I tell myself I am a rapist I feel suicidal. I never wanted to hurt any child and sorry I did. What I thought was love was not. I know better now and hope to be forgiven. I felt hope reading your book in prison. I said to myself if you can forgive life can become rewarding for me to. I want to find a nice woman to love me for me. I want to have children of my own. How is it possible when I have to carry shame? Oh I was released twenty months ago and found a job and stay clean and away from trouble.

Stanley, a former prisoner

Dear Stanley,

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m not sure how to answer your questions, but I will try. If while you were imprisoned you received therapeutic help to resolve the impulse to harm and sexually abuse children, you may need to take precautions not to be influenced to that same thought pattern. It is my hope that you continue in therapy forever. I believe constantly sharing and keeping yourself involved in your healing journey is an absolute must.

As for myself, after being a victim of abuse, I don’t consider myself as healed. I continue to experience the after-effects from my past abuse. The difference is that now as an adult I’m able to acknowledge it, deal with it, and put those dark thoughts where they belong—in my past. I don’t welcome my past pain into my present or future. Though I admit, triggers are still present. Be careful, be cautious, and stay away from children.

I am sorry to hear that you were abused. But pretending to be a multiple is not right. Admitting you were a rapist and vulnerable to rape again is being wise. Never forget the pain you’ve caused. Please remember it, feel it, and never allow your feelings to overtake your need to rape again.

Please seek continued help and round the clock support. I will keep you in my prayers.

Wishing you continue your journey to be your best self.

Karen