Comment by Becca on 04 Mar 2011 at 1:30 am

Hi, im 15 years old and from new zealand. I was also sexually abused. not as bad as your abuse though, When it happend and after i reported it, i was suppose to get love and support from my family etc, instead i got blame and punishment, i have just realised now, that i was treated wrongly and i never got help or support that i needed. now i have some really really intense weird problem. I feel its like some kind of mental problem because i know its not normal. I dont know what to do, because im not old enough to be able to deal with it properly, eg: see a phycologist, councillor etc what should i do?your book also touched me in many ways. Im glad you could get help.

Dear Becca,

Thank you for sharing. I am glad my story triggered something within you to write to me. Please know abuse is abuse. It doesn’t matter whether it happened once or many times, the trauma is the same. Once violated, it’s hard to feel good about oneself. I understand how you may be feeling. I sought love and support from family members, but my feelings were quickly dismissed and I continued to be hurt. I was told not to mention it again. At times I was even told the abuse must have been a figment of my imagination. Sometimes I was told I was to blame and brought it on myself. I felt sad and alone. But there is help out there for you no matter what your age. It’s important for you to confide in a trusted adult, school counselor, or authority figure. Report your abuser to the police. I know it won’t be easy but think about how bad you would feel if your abuser kept on abusing other young girls. Remember you were sexually abused and it was not your fault. No matter what you were told or how you feel the abuser is at fault. Abuse is abuse. Please seek help.

I admit, I too, was afraid to seek help and share the horrors of my abuse but it was in my best interest to regain the woman I was born to me.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your journey of healing. I have faith in you.

Karen