Comment by John on 15 Mar 2011 at 3:40 am

Dear Karen,

I have read your book with great interest and would greatly value your opinion on the following.

While researching a book on a Dutch cult, I came across an alleged cult member, who was also a victim, who claimed to be physically unable to reveal the secrets because one of her alters believed that a wild panther has been sown in her stomach. If ever the cult member was tempted to reveal the secret, this alter would become very agitated because she believed the panther started moving and was scared it would tear her insides.

Does such a story sound theoritically credible to you as a mechanism for keeping the abuse secret?

Kind regards,

John

Dear John,

Yes, it does! During the many years I endured abuse my system and alters needed to protect me to the best of their ability. There were alters who guarded my secrets so well that they even threatened to kill anyone, including Dr. Baer, who found out. Time and again during therapy, when on the verge of sharing the details of my abuse, I’d become ill. It turned out that my feeling ill, distressed, and severe headaches came from the mere thought of exposing my dark thoughts and horror. At times I feared someone would come after Dr. Baer and kill him just because I was his patient.

Dr. Baer was able to access a safe room within me during our hypnosis sessions where my alters were able to feel secure and share. Trusting Dr. Baer and his assuring me that he could take care of himself and handle whatever my alters told him eventually allowed my secrets to unfold. It takes time to build trust. My fears lessened as I shared. I assumed my secrets were more powerful than God. I was wrong. Dr. Baer taught me to stay on the side of reality. At first I told him “My reality is different than yours,” but he would bring me right back to reality. This cult member may have been told this story about the panther by her abusers to try to keep their secrets, and a child part of her could have believed it, so the story could theoretically be true.

It is my hope that I have helped in some way. Wishing you all my best during your research.

Karen