Comment by Peter on October 19, 2008 7:24 pm

Dear Karen and Richard Baer,

What an amazing team you both are! Great addition to an illness that lacks real information. I have read many versions of this illness and not one left me with understanding it as you wrote it. My mother has been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder and when she’s feeling good all is good, when she feels bad watch out for anything goes. I am her son and love her. My questions are: How did your children react when you felt good and when under pressure? Did your children know how to diffuse you? Does Dr. Baer know how to diffuse you?

Peter

Dear Peter,

Thank you for your compliment on Switching Time being a great addition to an illness that once lacked information.  It is our hope we were able to contribute more to the medical field through the sharing of our story. It’s good to hear our book gave you understanding.

Thank you also for sharing that your mother was diagnosed with a dissociative disorder.  I can empathize with you.  It’s important to maintain a sense of calm around your mom so that she can feel at ease with you and her illness and heal.

Stress, for me, aggravated and frustrated me to the point of inner chaos.  In the past, this would be a time when I’d dissociate.  Now, after integration, I try to find a way to calm myself.   This is hard to do at times, but my agitation now never lasts longer than an hour.

My children knew that I felt much better and was able to function better when calm. Of course, as with all children, they couldn’t possibly be calm all the time.

My children knew how to diffuse me by coming close, simply smiling, and lowering their voices.  Dr. Baer also had a way of diffusing me from any chaos that I brought into our therapy, and continues to have this ability since integration. As with my children, Dr. Baer knew that speaking to me in a calm way, while explaining what I didn’t understand, would make me feel respected and cared for, and all anxiety my would disappear.  I believe fear is at the root of all that distressed me.  I would panic or switch when I was afraid and felt threatened.

Karen