Comment by Winston on December 30, 2008 2:10 am

Hey, Karen, Didn’t mean to think this was your only job. Your kind of different that’s why you interest me and my fellow workers. It would be great to see you tell people off instead of being so damn kind hearted. Which leads to my question. Do you ever get angry and pissed off at people other than the people who abused you? Where did you get your kind way from if all you experienced was abuse? People piss me off every day, what about you? What do you do?

Winston

Dear Winston,

Don’t worry, I wasn’t offended by your question.  I know it may appear I’m different, but really I’m not.  I have the same ups and downs like everyone else.  I do the best I can to answer all the questions asked here.  Answering these questions is important to me.

I’m too kind hearted?  Maybe.  This is just the way I am.  It’s not in my nature to be cruel.  I believe by being kind I can make a difference to all those who suffer.  I’ve dealt with my past through eighteen years of therapy and have survived some horrific abuse.  If I had maintained the anger of my past, I wouldn’t have healed, and my abusers would’ve won in their attempt to kill my spirit.  I have very little anger left in me.

Of course I get pissed off at times–doesn’t everyone?  I’m no different.  The only difference is I may have tended to hold my anger inside, and that can cause me distress.  Dr. Baer may be the only one who has ever experienced any of my true past hidden anger.  I’m not sure.

Through many years of therapy, I’ve learned there’s a time and place to express anger, where and when to vent it properly, and to try my best never to express anger in an inappropriate manner.  What will being openly angry prove anyway?  For me, it will cause unnecessary panic and anxiety.  When I feel angry I try to compose myself and walk away.

Thank you for your concern and questions.

Karen