Comment by Tony from LA on March 14, 2009 5:50 pm

Karen,

Multiple questions. When your alters were active were you more depressed or less depressed? As an integrated recovering multiple do you feel more depressed or less depressed than before integration? Would you integrate again if you had the choice? Was integration worth it?

Thank you.

Tony from LA

Dear Tony,

During the years my alters were active I felt more depressed because I didn’t understand the illness from which I suffered, multiplicity, and felt inadequate because I was unable to control my life.  Since integration of my seventeen alters, I’ve experienced highs and lows, trying my best to live my life as one.  I’m no different than most people who have a bad day once in awhile.

If I were given another chance to choose whether or not to integrate my alters, my choice would be the same.  I would integrate.  My life before integration was far more complicated, overwhelming, and stressful than now.  Of course, I continue to struggle– don’t we all?  There will always be stress-filled days, and I will continue to do my best to  deal with stressful times.  Survival is an amazing accomplishment!  

In my experience, integration was not only a blessing but definitely worth taking the risk. 

Karen