Karen answers Cindy
Richard Baer on Mar 25th 2009
Comment by Cindy on March 24, 2009 4:11 pm
Karen, coming to your site makes me and I am sure many others feel comforted knowing we are not alone on our journey of survival and healing. It seems like one of the things I noticed is that I tend to be more intuitive and sensitive than the average person…My therapist told me because I grew up with with a lot of child abuse that some children are a lot more intuitive and sensitive that get abused. I notice when I meet a stranger I am able to sense a lot of things about that person before they even tell me much about themselves. I also have had many dreams in my past that have come true that I was not able to explain. I guess if there is anything good that did come out of my child abuse it would have to be that I am grateful to have this gift of sensitivity that seems to be protecting me from any further harm and abuse. I just wanted to know if you have ever experienced anything similar to this? Blessings to you.
Cindy
Dear Cindy,
Thank you for your compliments and sharing that coming to our site brings comfort to not only you but to others as well. It’s important for me to share in hope to help others through their own personal journey.
I have always been sensitive to everything around me. I call it being attuned. I have no choice but to be aware at all times. Being attuned could make the difference between being abused harshly or less so. There were many times I sensed trouble ahead and tried to get away or disappear before it was too late. It’s hard to live in such a way, and although being attuned may appear to be a gift, it isn’t always.
My gift of being attuned can cause me heartache. Recently, I sensed a trusted friend’s dislike for me. It’s devastating to know how someone feels about you without them telling you so. I can tell by reading facial movements, body language, and patterns of speech. Sadly, I always feel to blame even when I’m not. It’s hard knowing what people think before they speak.
Since integration, whenever I sense trouble, betrayal, deception, or someone who may try to deceive me, I know, I always know.
Thank you for your questions.
Karen
It’s interesting that there is an attune-ness as a common experience for multiples. I’ve found I can just “pick up” when someone is in medical distress and needs to see a doctor, I’ve been able to predict miscarriages with considerable accuracy and have been able to predict if people I have contact with – even casual acquaintances – are going to die.
Lately I’ve been seeing a pattern that seems really crazy but whenever my system becomes distressed or panicked or unsettled the electronics in my car act up. Trouble lights go on when there’s nothing wrong, power windows stop working – but work for my husband and daughter – when I’m not in the car etc. It’s may be just a coincidence but my 19 year old is convinced it fits with when I’m more unsettled. She also thinks I blow light bulbs although they don’t blow while I’m in the room but there does seem to be a pattern of blown light bulbs when my system is wound up.
Have you or others noticed similar “electrical” disruptions associated with disruptions in the system of parts?
At this stage in my treatment, it is not uncommon to disrupt my system of parts and find switching between parts becomes frantic. My husband and daughter can see these times now that they have learned to be attuned to me more. I recognize their concern with my function when they keep asking what happened in my day – trying to see what’s unbalanced my usually more together appearance. When I look at myself in the mirror it seems like looking at someone else – the hair seems the wrong color, the color of the skin looks awful, the eyes – they look glassy and bloodshot. I then begin to do what’s necessary to figure out what’s upset the various parts and work to calm things down.
Do you recognize any of this? I haven’t found much in the literature that suggests DID could cause these experiences. The psychologist hasn’t said much either way but we address the systems chaos in order to reduce the experiences – with notable success.
I know it sounds crazy but I’d be interested to know if others also found/find similar experiences.
One more question. I refer to myself as a multiple or as having DID because my parts have only just begun to recognize each other and only a few have blended together. Do you still consider yourself multiple now that you’ve become one?
Again, thanks for your measured and clearly well informed responses.
DK