Comment by Lynn on 06 Apr 2009 at 12:52 pm

When you integrated your first alter did you think you should stop further integrations of your other alters. In the book it was hard on you. Why would you want to suffer more?

Dear Lynn,

I admit, after my first alter integrated I had a few second thoughts, however within a few weeks I felt much better.  I never expected to feel the pain of what each alter suffered, but I did and that pain quickly subsided.  I was afraid I would be so different that I would not be recognizable to people who knew me, nor recognize myself. That proved to be the wrong assumption. Actually, not only did I feel like myself, I felt stronger and able to understand more of why I created alters in the first place.  There’s something peaceful in knowing why you feel the way you do. The process was closure for me.

Merging memories together from each alter after each integration proved to be an asset.  The first to integrate may have been the most difficult because of the unexpected and the unknown. As time passed, after each alter merged, I felt more whole. I became one woman with a variety of interests. My suffering during each integration was minor compared to the suffering I once felt from alter chaos.    

Dr. Baer and I had no idea how integration would affect me.  We decided to try and in the end, we were pleased with our success.

Thank you for your question.

Karen