Comment by Lisa on 07 April 2009 at 4:06 pm

Dear Karen,

I like your new site. Do you still have bad days that cause you to hate people?  I am a multiple, (I love your word for us) and I integrated three out of my ten alters. I suffer from anxiety. I never did before. Did you and do you still?

Lisa, Oregon

Dear Lisa,

Of course I still have a bad day now and then, but I really can’t say I hate anyone. There may be people who disappoint me by being arrogant, disrespectful, and hurtful, but I see these people now as having their own issues. What angry people project onto others is simply their own fears and frustrations. Walk away from them.

There are times when I do feel anxious. Life is not that easy for anyone who had once suffered from abuse. I try to do my best to calm myself down and think through what may have caused me to feel anxious in the first place. Most likely something happened that I couldn’t control. Once I understand and realize what it was, I settle down.

Please don’t give up. You have mentioned you are in the process of integrating your alters. I recall being very anxious during that time. There’s a lot going on within you, many changes, memories resurfacing, feelings of inadequacy and frustration. It’s not an easy time for you. Take care of yourself first and rest often. I found myself very exhausted during integration. Many people who hadn’t annoyed me started to get under my every last nerve. I required more sleep and less distraction from the outside world. Now is a time for healing. Trust me, be gentle with yourself.

Wishing you a safe and healing journey ahead.

Karen