Comment by Thomas on 08 April 2009 at 6:09 pm

Karen, you must have been exhausted during therapy. How did you survive digging up your past. Did the therapy process cause you to have nightmares? How did you deal with your grief?

Dear Thomas,

Yes, I was exhausted during my many years in therapy. I was exhausted after each session. I can recall sessions when I felt as if I’d undergone surgery. Therapy can be tedious and slow moving, causing prolonged grief. Therapy for multiplicity is not only hard work but takes a toll on the multiple’s entire family, and the doctor who treats her.  After each session I would arrive home and literally collapse into my bed. I couldn’t clean, cook, or enjoy a movie with my children without fear of falling asleep.

On session days I would order a pizza or bring home some fast food and pray the television would provide at least an hour or two of entertainment for my children so that I could recover. By the next day, most of my strength had returned and I felt a bit of weight removed from my shoulders. Dr. Baer and I worked very hard over a period of eighteen years, to chip away a lifetime of hurt that burdened me. One may wonder why one needs to drag up the past in order to move forward, but I believe it’s a necessary step to let go of the past and encourage future growth.

Of course, my nightmares where never pleasant. I believe my nightmares came from the mixing of my past, present, and future concerns. Most of the time I’d share the really horrific dreams with Dr. Baer and he would help me see the reason I may have dreamt such horror. Together we did this back and forth, for an exhausting eighteen years, in a time consuming effort to heal my inner pain. I dealt with my grief one day at a time.

Thank you for your questions.

Karen