Comment by Alec on 19 Apr 2009 at 11:09 am

Dear Karen,

You rock! I can’t begin to share how your survival touched me. I now have hope. I love you and don’t even know you personally. I needed help but don’t believe in therapy. Now I might. Made my appointment yesterday for Wednesday next week. I am scared to death. What do I say? What if the therapist assigned to me doesn’t like me much? Is the first time hard? Can you answer me before Tuesday?  

Thank you.

Alec

Dear Alec,

Thank you for your compliments! No one has ever said “I  rock!”  That indeed put a smile on my face. I am so glad to hear that you have found hope after reading my story.

Believe me, I once felt like you!  I didn’t believe in therapy myself, but I knew that I needed professional help.  Feeling constantly suicidal wasn’t something I was able to work through on my own. I was scared to death to tell anyone that I lost time. How could I have known how to help myself when my distress created a wall so thick that I couldn’t see myself living long enough to get through it.

I didn’t share many details at first for fear Dr. Baer would reject me and tell me to get out because I was beyond help.  I needed to build rapport and trust with Dr. Baer.  Therapy is hard work; it takes time and patience.  But therapy saved my life.  There is no time line for healing, each of us is unique, and there is no need to rush in and tell all during your first session.  If I were you, I would just go.  Take that first step, and just allow yourself to say whatever comes to mind.

Please know that there no right or wrong thing to say to your therapist.  What matters most is that you feel your therapist is making a real effort to understand you.  There were many times where I felt Dr. Baer didn’t like me, was angry with me, or didn’t care.  But those were my thoughts, not his. Dr. Baer always stayed the same. I felt those feelings because that’s how I felt with everyone.

I believe you are very brave for making your appointment for Wednesday.  Please know that I will be thinking of you.  I wish you all my best as you continue your journey to healing.

Karen