Bridget on Questions for Karen: “Hi Karen, I just got done reading your book. I was told that there was possibly a sequel that had…” Sep 20, 18:26Karen answers Philannon
Richard Baer on May 20th 2009
Comment by Philannon 13 May 2009 at 10:50 amWhat would you say to a teenager contemplating suicide because a friend of her’s older downs syndrome brother raped her and he was too strong for her to fight off. I think she should call the police and report it. Just because the guy is slow doesn’t make it forgiveable. I told her to tell her friend but she said no. I don’t want to lose her because of this. What could I do to help prevent her from taking her own life. I heard people who threaten aren’t really serious but can’t buy that. I know this girl and she means what she says. She’s not capable of lying. I read you book and admire Dr. Baer for helping you. Who would ever believe rape to be so damaging. My friend is special to me. I want to be her Dr. Baer.
Dear Philannon,
I’m sorry to hear that your friend was raped, and yes, it’s sad that the rapist happened to have Down’s syndrome. I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, nor am I qualified to give any advice on whether to call the police. However, in my opinion, rape is rape, and your friend was violated. That is not acceptable. I believe all acts of rape should be reported. If the rape goes unreported, he may rape another woman, teen, or young girl. Please do the right thing and report it. The brother with Down’s syndrome needs help, too.
There are misconceptions regarding people who say they want to end their life. On some level, if you say it, you mean it. However, I also believe by sharing suicidal thoughts one is looking for someone, anyone, to help them change their mind. I’ve felt suicidal many times, and believe me, I meant it. When I would share my suicidal thoughts with Dr. Baer, I was looking for him to say “please don’t, I care”. If your friend continues to say she doesn’t wish to live, she really needs help, and not from you but from a trained professional therapist. Being a friend is one thing, but stepping into the role of a therapist in not only inappropriate but dangerous. Please encourage her to talk to someone. Please don’t try to be your friend’s therapist. Just be her friend.
Wishing all of you my best.
Karen