Comment by Marquerite on 13 May 2009 at 5:54 pm 


During your process to integrate your alters were you working a full time job. If you were did you find the trauma of integration exhausting enough to need time off? What did your employeer say when you told him of your condition? How did you spouse deal with your process? your kids?

Dear Marguerite,

Most of the years during my therapy were spent on disabilty for medical reasons in addition to my multiplicity.  Due to an incident at the birth of my daughter, my alters re-grouped and came out full force in order to help me survive the trauma I experienced during the cesarean section.  I share this story in the Prologue of our book, Switching Time.

My cesarean section didn’t quite go smoothly and left me temporarily traumatized with pain that resulted in my need for nine surgeries.  During the first two years after my daughters birth I was often hospitalized for one thing or another.  It was at this time my alter’s resurfaced. Remember, alters are created to help one survive, and I needed help.

I did my best to heal and get back to my full-time position as an administrative assistant in a large company.  Although ill, dissociating my pain helped.  I went back to work within four months and continued to work until my daughter’s first birthday when I couldn’t hide from the fact that I was not only in constant, disabling pain, but was losing time and not recalling large parts of my day.  My work always got done, the only problem was I couldn’t say how.  That’s when I knew my losing time was more than simple forgetfulness.

I never told my employer that I lost time, but I decided to quit.  I informed my employer I was planning to go back to school and be full-time mom to my one year old daughter and three year old son. I was ashamed and unable to explain how the excellent quality of my work got done, on time, but out of my awareness.  As I received awards for work that an alter did, I became depressed. I was really afraid that I’d soon be discovered, and I more or less fled before I was.

During the eighteen months of integrations, my job was as a full time mom, part time night cashier at a drug store, and volunteer for many community and my children’s activities.  I rarely slept, and with active alters, I kept busy even though I was emotionally exhausted all the time.  My husband supported my decision to stay home and raise our children.  He actually wanted me to stop working after my first child was born, before my daughter’s birth and subsequent alter chaos.  I had maintained a great paying job for ten years.  However, losing time would not allow me to function at my best.  Sure, I was able to wear a mask and get things done, but not in an appropriate way.

Thank you for your thought provoking question.

Karen