Comment by Len on 05 Aug 2011 at 5:13 pm

Hi Karen,

I am pissed about some a-hole negative review on your book. It was one of those comments that I can’t let go. How do you deflect pain of negative people? Have there been times where you sunk low into a depression because of being insulted over sharing your story. I have read your book and feel honored to be able to read such inspiration of healing. What a wonderful spirit and miracle of God you are. Thank you for bringing me understanding. Thank you and Richard Baer for sharing a hard to write story in which I think you both did an amazing job.

Len, Utah

Dear Len,

Though we haven’t received many negative reviews, I do enjoy reading the points of view of others. Whether good or bad, it doesn’t matter. I have survived a lot and am happy to be alive. In my opinion, those who write in anger may be hurting themselves.  Maybe the person needs help and can’t accept it? I’m not affected by negative people; I don’t want to give them that power over me. My story is my story. There will always be someone who will try to trigger me into having a bad thought, but I know the truth. In my opinion, it’s best not to allow anger to control one’s thoughts.

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful compliments! I truly appreciate your concern. It’s taken me many years to get here and I won’t allow a bad review to set me back.

Wishing you all my best,

Karen

Comment by Toby on 04 Aug 2011 at 4:09 pm

I didn’t know you had a blog. I have been reading your answers and found a lot of peace because of what happened to me. Shame was causing me to fear telling my therapist things. Being a male and all I never knew it didn’t matter. Anyway thanks for writing a story that helps.

Dear Toby,

You’re welcome! Thank you for sharing!  I am glad you found my blog helpful.  Please know that I empathize with your fear of sharing with your therapist.  I felt ashamed once, too!

Thank you for your compliments, especially for believing that our story helps.

Karen

Comment by Lola on 01 Aug 2011 at 6:49 am

Hi Karen,

I recently began my journey in therapy and feel very uncomfortable in sharing. I read you also had a hard time. Can you tell me what to say or to expect and how can talking about my pain help my future?

Thank you, you are the strongest most sincere person I ever read about.

Lola

Dear Lola,

Thank you for sharing. I do understand you feeling uncomfortable sharing. I felt uncomfortable, too! Most of my early sessions I spent in fear of sharing. What did I fear? That Dr. Baer would stop treating me or think I was disgusting. I was sickened by what had happened to me. I felt ashamed and afraid to share my truth. But in order to move forward,  I knew I had to start somewhere. I admit, it took some time, but together with my therapist, we established rapport and I began to trust him. Once I started, I couldn’t stop talking. Finally, I felt I could share without judgment. I felt secure and able to share everything in the safety of therapy. Please know that it’s best to share with your therapist so that together you can build your therapy relationship.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself. It takes time to heal and begin sharing what you had so successfully kept hidden within yourself. But from my experience I know my sharing felt like releasing a ton of bricks.  It was a freedom that I never thought possible. Keeping dark thoughts and secrets made me ill. As I shared, I started feeling better. It was an amazing feeling once I started to release my past and let go of the junk that kept me imprisoned within myself.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your journey to wellness.

Karen

Karen was there at any point any medication that helped calm down alter activity…I am struggling with that and looking for answers…. Thank you

Bonnie/Bongo

Dear Bonnie and Bongo,

Quite frankly, no, at least not for me. There were times I took Xanax, but I don’t believe the medication worked for me. It may have calmed me down for an immediate trauma, but I hated taking medication. Dr. Baer prescribed medication at times but because of alter chaos the medication usually sat untouched in my medicine cabinet. My alters did not like being sedated with medication. Certain medications would affect certain alters differently and cause more trouble than it helped.

In my opinion, I believe multiples are better off with talk therapy to calm them down. Medication was not for me.  Please know that I am not a therapist and can’t give advice. Check with your therapist about what is best for you.

Thank you for your question. Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Lizzie on 22 Jul 2011 at 10:08 pm

I’m not sure how this blog thing works. I guess I submit and then look for an answer? I’m a multiple and I’m dealing with taking down walls that have kept a very young, very angry, very terrified part prisoner for most of my life. She has broken through and acted out over the years but I am just now becoming aware of her. I am absolutely terrified of connecting, knowing that the connection will give me all of her memories and all of her pain and terror. How do you deal with that? How do you know that making that connection won’t consume you and leave you worse off than when she was kept hidden? Can you give me any advice? Reading your book helped me some, just knowing that I’m not the only one. I was also amazed by some of the synchronisities between your abuse and my own. Even if you can’t answer my question, I’m really glad I read my book and I’m really happy for you that everything came out right in the end. You’re an amazingly strong woman…. Thank you in advance for any help you can offer.

Lizzie

Dear Lizzie,

I empathize with you. You really don’t know how you will feel until you start the process. But I assure you, once you are exposed to your past trauma, your healing begins. I was terrified, too, but through patience, understanding, and many talks with my therapist, I let go of my fear. I found that as each alter memory came, there was a brief feeling of overwhelming grief, but that quickly passed once I acknowledged and dealt with it. The pain didn’t last over long.

In my opinion, every attempt to merge your alters or encourage them to mature by an act such as tearing down the walls that keeps them imprisoned is a step closer to growth and wholeness. It takes time to heal and healing requires making decisions to help your alters gain strength and courage, knowing that they will feel better once they understand where their pain originated. The ultimate goal is to integrate all to become one. For me, acknowledging my past pain through my alters’ experiences and memories helped me to move forward and not allow the same trauma to return to my present or my future.

Thank you for your kind compliments! I truly appreciate hearing that my story helped in some way. Wishing you all my best on your journey to wholeness.

Karen

Comment by Nabilah on 21 Jul 2011 at 6:04 am

Hi Karen,

I am currently writing my life story based on mental health problems and traumatic events. I came across reading “A Life in Pieces” and was so shocked to know that you suffered so much traumatic abuse at such a young age. I admire your strength and courage. What you had experienced through your childhood was terrible. My heart goes out to you. I really feel for you and only hope you find happiness in your future. I just recently had a religious breakdown due to so much stress in my life and it has made me understand that faith is so important and with faith you can do anything in life. I wish you all the best for your future.

N xxx

Dear Nabilah,

Good luck on writing your life story!  That’s great news!  My past may have been horrific, and life will always be a challenge, but I’m making the most of it! I’m happy and living life as I never dreamed possible. I’m always trying to move forward and making new friends!

Wishing you all my best! Keep on writing!

Karen

Comment by Sofia on 20 Jul 2011 at 7:25 pm

Hi Karen, I finished your story in one day and admire your courage. I never met anyone like you and haven’t met you in person but feel like I’ve known you all my life. I am forever in debt to you because through your story I know I will be okay once I accept help. I am going to find a therapist after I leave this message. I am happy I no longer feel alone. Thank you, Sofia

Dear Sofia,

I am glad to hear my story encouraged you to seek help for yourself! That’s wonderful to hear. Please take care of yourself and keep in touch! I have faith in you and know the most important part of therapy is taking the first step. I’m so glad you no longer feel alone. Please know that I am here.

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Bongo on 17 Jul 2011 at 8:41 pm

Karen I don’t know how to express the relief I have felt since finding your book…I have read 100′s of books and have done a ridiculous amount of research and getting now where..This is the first time I feel like someone is in my head…like someone really “gets IT” other then my therapist of course LOL…My therapist has sent a friend request to Richard Baer..I’m hoping they can connect…right now I have a blog trying to get the words out and in someway letting others know they are not alone….that’s what you have done for me..you have let me know I am not alone…you have touched a life….I so thank you…. Bongo

Dear Bongo,

I am touched by your kind thoughts and compliments! Thank you! I’m glad you found the courage to find relief in my story in order to help you help yourself on your own personal journey. That’s great to hear! I do understand how you’re feeling. Switching Time may be the only book that shares total integration.

Please let me know more about your blog and I will visit you there! I’m not sure whether Dr. Baer checks his Facebook, but if he does, I’m sure he’ll respond to your therapist’s request.

Wishing you all best as your continue your journey!

Karen

Comment by Jess on 14 Jun 2011 at 4:25 am

Hello Karen. I’m a 26 year old ICU RN. I have been fascinated (not sure if that’s the right word) with DID/MPD since I was about 15 years old. I initially became interested after hearing a guest speak on Oprah. Forgive me, I forget his name, I do know that he wrote “First Person Plural”. By 17, or so, I read his book multiple times and many others like it. Mainly focusing on child abuse therapy and MPD. By the time I was a junior in HS, I was set on becoming a Child Psychologist. Unfortunately, after several courses I determined that it wasn’t my calling. I want to praise you for your strength and courage. As well as, express my gratitude to you and Dr. Baer for the dedication to continuing your therapy during those questionable times. If I may ask, have your children read your story? Your Mother? I hope that their reaction cause you no pain. I look forward to incorporating yours and Dr. Baer’s strengths and patience in the care I provide for my patients and their families.

Thank you for your time,

Jess

Dear Jess,

Thank you for sharing! I thoroughly enjoy hearing stories like yours that show how my story can help see patients in a new way. Thank you for your kind, thoughtful, and amazing compliments! It is very important to me and to Dr. Baer to keep on sharing my story in hope to help others who may have been or know of someone who has been abused. I also admire you for choosing a career in the health care field. There is such a need for empathetic nurses. I can tell you have a caring spirit.

Regarding sharing my story with my children? Yes, I have. My daughter has read my story and said that it helped her understand me all the more. I verbally shared with my son, but I did not wish to push my story on him.  He had been serving as a Marine in Iraq and went through his own trauma. I asked my son not to read my story until he felt ready. My mother, on the other hand, has not read my story, because I did not share with her. I tried a few times, but her narcissism and pessimism caused me more distress and concern. My mother turns a deaf ear to me and simply ignores anything that does not pertain to her. I felt it was in my best interest for my continued well being not to share with my mother.

Dr. Baer and I wish you the very best as you care for your patients. We surely made the best of a horrific situation during my therapy years. I am grateful for all that Dr. Baer has done for me.  If I were him, I’m not sure I would have been as strong. My alter chaos most certainly was overwhelming and beyond imagination.

Karen

Comment by Jen on June 6, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Hey, not sure if you get this question but if you dont mind me asking is karen your real name?

Dear Jen,

No, Karen is not my real name. My name was changed to protect me. Dr. Baer and the publisher felt the change of my name was in my best interest. Though my name was changed, I am the same person.

Thank you for asking,

Karen