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Archive for the 'Karen’s Answers' Category
Richard Baer on Jul 3rd 2009
Comment by Anonymous, M.D. on 02 Jul 2009 at 1:27 pm
Hello Karen Overhill and Richard Baer,
For doctor/patient confidentiality I will not state my name. I am the therapist of one disturbed patient who came in with a story so familiar that while discussing her case with fellow doctors one suggested I read your book. Initially I felt that your book would not be of any help. I didn’t believe in your case. I read it and changed my thoughts. Karen, My patient is copying you. Richard, My patient wants me to be you, right down to the need for a hug. Her symptons were so close to your story that as I continued on reading she had become you. I will continue to treat her. My reason for writing is to thank the both of you for allowing your story to be told. The book changed one stubborn therapist, me. I wish the both of you success. Thank you for opening one doctors eyes to the possibilities of treatment.
Anonymous, M.D.
Dear M.D.,
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear that your patient felt so insecure and needed to copy me. I guess my story must have moved your patient in an unusual way. Maybe your patient just needs your undivided attention, and she wanted to be something she thought would interest you. I’m sure now that you have read my story you can treat your patient in an appropriate way. Since I am not a therapist, I can’t understand why a patient would go through such extremes while trying to build trust with you. I recall Dr. Baer having thoughts as to whether what I was sharing could be true.
I am glad that you changed your mind about the illness multiplicity. I am pleased to hear that your “stubborn” ways have softened a bit with the knowledge you recieved from reading Switching Time. Dr. Baer was a stubborn therapist, too! Like you, I believe Dr. Baer became a better therapist once he gained insight into how amazing the mind could really be.
It is my personal wish for all therapists to read my story and come to a better understanding of how some children could survive the horrors of child abuse. It is my hope that there will be more awareness of true multiplicity so that the illness will be treated instead of dismissed; acknowledged instead of mocked; and accepted instead of ignored. There is much more to learn.
Thank you for all your compliments.
Karen
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Richard Baer on Jul 3rd 2009
Comment by Keisha on 01 Jul 2009 at 6:00 pm
I am almost done reading “Switching Time”. I started it quite some time ago, but it is difficult to read (I keep thinking, “Parents are supposed to protect their children, not hurt them!”).. I have never been abused, but wanted to hug you while reading it because you needed it. I am so thankful that you found Dr. Baer. I was afraid of a not so happy ending, but once I found out that you had a blog, I knew you had found some kind of peace. Thank you for sharing your story with Dr. Baer, and I thank him for writing it. I wish you all of the happiness in the world!
Dear Keisha,
I understand how difficult reading Switching Time can be; it’s an intense journey. I also understand your concern regarding “Parents are supposed to protect their children, not hurt them!” That is exactly why I decided it was important to share my story with Dr. Baer. We hope that Switching Time will bring knowledge to all parents who may suspect something may not be right not only with their own children, but with all children.
In my opinion, all adults, whether a parent, caregiver, teacher, friend, acquaintance, and so on, need to pay attention to children. There are signs that can be reconcognized if one pays attention. It is my hope that some adult’s awareness will save a child from further abuse.
I am glad to hear that you weren’t abused. And I accept your “hug.” Thank you! Yes, I am grateful to have found Dr. Baer, and that he helped guide my journey to becoming one. I believe he was God sent. I continue to try my best to maintain peace within myself. And it is my pleasure to help others through my blog.
Thank you for your compliments and wishes for happiness! Dr. Baer and I truly appreciate your kinds words.
Karen
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Richard Baer on Jul 3rd 2009
Comment by Moira Lee on 30 Jun 2009 at 11:05 am
Dear Karen,
Thank you Karen for writing your story. Thank you Dr. Richard Baer for providing the necessary guidance Karen needed to heal. Switching Time is very well put together. I found myself engrossed in it. While reading your journey the story became my journey. I felt right there with ya. I usually get bored with books. I love that I felt your pain not that I wanted to. But feeling what you both experienced made it all more important to understand the illness. Thank you.
Moira Lee
Alaska
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Dear Moira Lee,
Thank you for writing to share your thoughts and opinions. Sorry about experiencing my pain as you read, but I’m glad to hear that as you read our story, you were taken on our journey right along with us. That’s a very nice compliment. To be engrossed in any book is what an author hopes to accomplish.
Dr. Baer tried his best to write our story so that each reader comes to a better understanding of the illness of multiplicity.
Thank you for all your compliments.
Karen
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Richard Baer on Jul 3rd 2009
Comment by Laurel on 30 Jun 2009 at 10:41 am
Kar,
Do you continue to dissociate now that your alters have integrated?
Laurel
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Dear Laurel,
No, I don’t dissociate anymore, but there have been times when I’ve become dreamy, as if deep in thought, like most of us do sometimes. My ability dissociate disappeared with integration. These days, I deal with life the best I can on my own. I admit, there are times when I feel overwhelmed and stressed and wish I could dissociate, but I can’t.
Thank you for your question.
Karen
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Richard Baer on Jun 29th 2009
Comment by Lucy on 29 Jun 2009 at 5:57 pm
I am a woman who was abused by her father. Like you I turned out nice. I know how hard it was to get through each day. I have been there too. Thank you for telling your story. When I read your book I felt un-alone. I never knew anyone who had similar experience like me. I am not a multiple but very well could’ve been. In a way I wish I was a multiple like you then I would’nt have remember anything until I was older. When I was a child I remembered every day. I am 38 years old now and your story encouraged me to go for help. I am nice but sad because I can’t tell anyone I was abused. I fear being judged. What would you as a woman suggest I do. I value your opinion. If you say therapy will help me I will go.
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Dear Lucy,
I’m sorry to hear that you were abused, but I am glad to hear that you feel you have turned out nice. I understand the price of being nice. It wears on you, especially when you’re unable to vent your underlying anger in an appropriate, safe way. My story seems to have triggered the memories and feelings of many who have been abused. I believe that it’s best to deal with what has happened than to suppress dark thoughts.
There are many men and women who have suffered abuse. It may seem that multiplicity is a wonderful way to cope from abuse, but it is not. It wasn’t easy not knowing what happened each a day, where you’ve been and who you’ve spent time with. It’s not something I ever felt good about. I always felt lost, inadequate, and alone in a world I never understood. I felt like I lived a nightmare every day. Recalling my past was horrific yet necessary in order to heal. Therapy was needed for me to grow, feel nurtured, and gain the strength I needed to make a difference in my life. Therapy saved me and I do not regret it.
I’m glad to hear that you are seeking help now that you’ve become aware of the need to. It’s important to take care of yourself. A qualified therapist won’t judge you. There is no need to share your therapy with anyone else. I didn’t. Please seek help.
Karen
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Richard Baer on Jun 25th 2009
Comment by Amber on 24 Jun 2009 at 7:58 am
It was a great book and I’m glad you got through everything, but I have a few questions…..
1. Are all of the pictures in the book real?
2. Will you ever release your identity like Chris Sizemore (EVE) did? Or at least your real first name? (If most of the “bad” people in you life have died, why not?)
3. Were all of the alter’s names the real names except for karen 1, karen 2 and karen 3? (I noticed on the jesus picture with the stars that each time “karen” is mentioned you can tell it was changed from the original name.
Dear Amber,
Thank you for your compliments! The pictures shown in the book are real, and most of the originals are in color. My alter Jensen drew them. I’m not sure where his inspiration came from, but I believe as an eleven year old boy he may have spotted a picture that tiggered a memory and used his own creativity to draw it. All I know is that each picture appeared in front of me, usually left on my nightstand, with a note “From Jensen, For Dr. Baer.”
During the writing of Switching Time, and at the time of publication, I chose to remain anonymous for personal reasons. I am not one who wishes to be in the limelight. I don’t believe it’s necessary for anyone to know my real identity. It is my hope to be respected as one woman who dared to share her personal journey.
My wish was to share my story in order to help others. I have done interviews and continue to hope to share my story in person. My real name won’t change who I am and all that I have endured. I am one and the same. I admire Chris Sizemore (Eve) for sharing her story, and like her, I have the need to feel safe. Besides, I had no idea how my story would be perceived and I didn’t wish for my family to be affected in a negative way.
It is true that to my knowledge all my abusers have died. However, just as I felt the need to protect my children from being hurt, there are many extended family members who would be devastated if they knew their beloved relatives were my abusers. I’m not saying that they shouldn’t know, what I mean is that the people I am referring to are elderly, very special to me, lovely and honest, never hurt me, and I love them. I don’t wish for them to pass on knowing that they failed to help me. Maybe one day, when every last elderly relative is dead, I could feel free to share my past as myself without fear. I don’t believe that now is the right time to reveal my true identity.
You are very observant. My real name was changed in the pictures to Karen. The remaining fourteen alters names were not changed.
Thank you for asking such thought provoking questions.
Karen
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Richard Baer on Jun 25th 2009
Comment by Brittany on 22 Jun 2009 at 10:02 pm
Dear Karen,
It’s with bittersweet thoughts that I write you today. I loved your book. But unfortunately can’t understand where the alters fit in with not killing your abusers. Why didn’t they? Why help you survive continuous torture without ending it? If your alters were created to help you why couldn’t they stop the abuse from being done in the first place? I’m not understanding and that leaves me feeling that alters are not worthy of having. Why didn’t your doctor do something to help stop you from being abused by making the alters do what he said? I mean, your husband turned abusive to. Why didn’t the alters kill him? If your alters did kill your abusers would you be charged with murder? Would your doctor defend you? I’m not understanding?
Brittany
Dear Brittany,
I hear you. There were many times when I asked myself the very same questions you ask. I don’t have an answer. My alters were created so that I survived. I believe I was never able to act violently towards anyone, neither me nor my alters. There may have been times when an alter wanted to kill an abuser, especially Karl, but I don’t believe that it was really possible, at least not in my case. When one of my alters had a violent intention, one of the other alters always stepped in and stopped him. There was always somebody watching.
It was never Dr. Baer’s responsibility to stop my abuse; it was Dr. Baer’s job to guide and teach me how to handle and stop my abuse on my own. I was an adult and it was a task I needed to learn. I believe Dr. Baer felt like stepping in at times, but he couldn’t. I remember he pleaded with me to go to a shelter for battered women, but I wasn’t ready. I eventually learned to do take care of myself and divorced my abusive husband of twenty-one years.
I believe Dr. Baer would’ve testified on my behalf if I needed him to. But there’s a lot of ignorance and misinformation about multiplicity. That’s one reason we decided to share our journey in Switching Time. There continues to be so much to learn about the illness I survived.
Thank you for your questions.
Karen
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Richard Baer on Jun 25th 2009
Comment by Kevin B on 22 Jun 2009 at 10:01 pm
Hi Karen,
I just finished reading Switching Time. What a powerful realization on what abuse is. I am twenty, never been abused but have a friend who was. I believe it’s important that people share stories like yours. Switching Time was an educational experience for me. I believe I will be a better friend now that I have a understanding of what abuse can do. Thank you Dr. Baer and Karen.
Kevin B.
Dear Kevin,
I agree, Switching Time is a powerful depiction of what abuse can do. It’s important to know what can happen when a child is repeatedly abused. I’m glad to hear that you weren’t abused yourself.
I admire you for acknowledging your friend’s abuse and caring enough to share your thoughts. You are a great friend for taking the time to care and learn about child abuse in order to be a better friend.
Thank you for your compliments and for sharing that Switching Time was an educational experience for you. Dr. Baer and I truly appreciate hearing from you. It is my hope to continue to share my story in an attempt to help others with their own journey to wellness.
Karen
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Richard Baer on Jun 25th 2009
Comment by Leslie on 20 Jun 2009 at 1:10 pm
Karen,
It’s wonderful to see you faithfully continue to answer questions to support Switching Time and the many troubled souls who share their grief stricken pasts. If it were possible would you consider doing this type of work full-time? How much can you tolerate before you reach the point of distress?
Leslie
Dear Leslie,
Thank you for your kind words and compliments. I do my best to empathize with all who write to me. I feel privileged to receive correspondence from so many people. I hope to share from my personal experiences and journey as long as possible.
I would love to continue answering questions, write my own column or short stories, or maybe, together with Dr. Baer, write a sequel to our book, Switching Time. I love to write. I believe writing comes naturally to me. I don’t find it stressful at all.
For me, answering questions here on my blog gives a sense of accomplishment that is priceless. If my words help just one person, I feel I would have done what I was meant to do. I admit, some days are a bit harder than others, but during difficult times I wait until my troubled feelings pass and look forward to getting back to writing. I love what I do.
If all else fails, I will call Dr. Baer and talk; we are still a team.
Thank you for asking.
Karen
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Richard Baer on Jun 25th 2009
Comment by Ellen on 19 Jun 2009 at 8:05 pm
Karen,
When I read your response to father’s day I cried for you. I know it may seem that your father was not worthy of being a father. I felt your love for your alters and doctor. My opinion is you didn’t need to be reminded by the person who wrote you. When you answer people you are consistently compassionate and well versed. I would like to applaud you. In spite of the horror you endured you came out on top, I can tell you love the doctor who cared for you more than your own father. When I read your response it came to mind that the doctor should equally love you back. DO you believe in fate, love and that we are all brought together on purpose? I imagine you do. Write a sequel about the love of healing, the love found between doctor and patient and the love of life you gained despite the hurt you endured.
Blessings to your peaceful spirit.
God made you to teach the loveless about love. Go ahead and do it.
Ellen
NY
Dear Ellen,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the post by Samantha about Father’s Day. I truly appreciate all your compliments! They means a lot to me. I’m glad you were able to feel the love that healed me. That’s very important to me.
Yes, I believe in fate, love and that we are all brought together for a reason. I believe it’s all in God’s plan. I also believe that we all need someone. I was very fortunate to have found the right therapist to accompany me on my journey. I believe my healing and meeting Dr. Baer was meant to be, and my alters and multiplicity were a God sent coping mechanism. I survived with teamwork!
Dr. Baer and I would love to write a sequel to Switching Time. Thank you for your suggestion and confidence in our story.
Have a great day!
Karen
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Bridget on Questions for Karen: “Hi Karen, I just got done reading your book. I was told that there was possibly a sequel that had…” Sep 20, 18:26