Comment by Henry on August 10, 2008 8:20 pm

Karen,

What a powerful book! I would like to know how you managed reading the manuscript before print. If I were you it would’ve caused me to relapse. Was it difficult on you to read, write and talk over episodes of abuse before and after publication?

Henry

Dear Henry,

Yes, I agree, Switching Time is a powerful book! And I appreciate you saying so! This book was meant to be written. I am glad to have been a part of something that will help others complete their own journeys. Of course, at first it was difficult to read through the manuscript. How could it not be? I had to relive all that happened, time and again. But it was worth it. Each time I read the manuscript I grew stronger in spirit. Having read my story and contributed to the writing gave me the determination to move forward. How many of us can look back and read, in black and white, all that we’ve accomplished? I already knew all about what happened to me, but yes, reading it was hard to do.

I believe this book gave me more strength than if it weren’t written. I was able to meet all the alters in the way Dr. Baer knew them. Of course, my alters were a part of me and lived within me, but I couldn’t know them in the same way he did. In this book, Dr. Baer’s descriptions brought my alters to life for me.

There continues to be times when I become overwhelmed with having my story published. Talking about my past isn’t always pleasant. But all in all, I believe sharing what Dr. Baer and I have gone through has been a once in a lifetime journey that needed to be told. I believe it’s important for me to talk about my journey. It is my hope that through my sharing, others will find hope within themselves.

Karen

Comment by Dennis on August 9, 2008 9:27 pm

Karen,

This is a great story but I don’t believe anything like this could possibly take place in the Chicago area. What area did you live in while this was happening? I am a child product of the sixties and know there was weirdness in that period of time but all men of that time period talked perverted and never acted on it. What made you different?

Dennis

Dear Dennis,

I’m sorry, but Dr. Baer and I decided it was best not to share the exact geographical area where I lived as a child. But, yes, it’s possible for this type of abuse to happen, not only in Chicago, but anywhere in the world. What’s to prevent men who talk in perverted ways to act on them in secret? You mentioned you were a child during the sixties and thought that men during that period “talked perverted,” but didn’t act on anything. If this was so, then you were lucky not to have suffered at their hands.

What made me different? I was the child of abusers. I was trapped, a captive, and could only escape them within myself.

Karen

Comment by Beth on August 9, 2008 9:24 pm

Karen,

Do you date or have you remarried? What does your friend or husband think about your past? I was abused myself and every time I shared this information with a man he literally stopped calling. One of my man friends actually told me once he knew I turned him off. How do share your past now that there’s an entire book about you?

Beth

Dear Beth,

No. I haven’t remarried, nor am I dating at present. Sharing my story with someone I choose to be intimate with will be a challenge for me. As for now, I am focusing more on myself and my own continued journey. I live a lonely life because I usually need to hide who I am. Not everyone would accept someone who once suffered from MPD/DID. For me, it’ll be important to be honest from the start because there’s a book out about me. I don’t wish to hurt anyone.

If I should meet someone of importance and wish to have an intimate connection, I will need to take the chance and tell him the truth about myself. If he should choose not to continue our relationship, then the relationship wasn’t meant to be. I have much faith and love to give, if given the chance. Maybe someday there’ll be a special man who can love me for being me, despite the victim I once was.

My ex-husband also was turned off when I revealed my past abuse. This broke my heart, and made me feel less of a woman. I believe if any man, as in your case, who says he is “turned off” when you share your story of abuse, then he never deserved your love in the first place. No man has the right to judge you. Please don’t allow any man to hurt you. Take care of yourself first.

Wishing you happiness,

Karen

Comment by Konstantinos on August 9, 2008 5:27 pm

Karen,

Hi,

I am visiting the states from my country. I speak and read english and would like to know what other languages does the book come in? I would love for others to read it too, others who don’t speak English. I find your book very interesting and inspiring. Is the title the same in other countries?

Dear Konstantinos,

Welcome to America! I hope you’re stay here is pleasant. Thank you for finding my story interesting and inspiring. Dr. Baer and I worked hard in order to share our journey together and bring hope to others who suffer, and to show how therapy can work to help heal from trauma.

Our book, Switching Time, here in the United States is available in different countries and languages. There may be more added to the list, but as for now you can purchase our book in the following countries under the following names. In Amsterdam and Belgium, the Dutch version is entitled Karen, de vrouw met zeventien persoonlijkheden; in the United Kingdom, that English version is entitled A Life in Pieces, The Harrowing True Story of a Woman with Multiple Personality Disorder, and in Sweden, the title to look for is Karens många ansikten. Additional editions are coming out in Japanese and Chinese. Each of these books can be found under the author, Richard Baer.

Dr. Baer and I hope to share our stories with other countries soon. Thank you, again, for your interest in sharing our book with others in different languages.

Karen

Comment by Marissa on August 8, 2008 5:46 pm

Hi Karen,

Someone who survived all that you have must be strong. Where does your strength come from?

Marissa

Dear Marissa,

I believe my strength comes from somewhere deep within myself. There were many times I didn’t think I could go on. At those times I had to rely on help from the alters. Since integration, Dr. Baer, friends, and family have helped get me through some sad times. My strength is having the determination and will to live despite all that drags me down. I had to constantly remind myself that there was a reason for me to survive. I’ve been blessed more than once. First, the God sent coping mechanism to dissociate all the horror that had happened to me, and second, the God sent gift of being lucky enough to find Dr. Baer and receive the help I needed. I believe there is a time and reason for everything. It was my time to heal. And I did.

Karen

Comment by John on August 7, 2008 1:47 pm

Hello Karen,

I talked to my therapist and told him about you and this book and he agreed with your answer. I couldn’t believe how right you were. Thank you. I had been reading your answers to all questions and think you could be a advice columnist for those of us who are in therapy because you know what it’s like to be a patient and you are not a doctor writing in doctor language. Who are you and what do you do for a living? I think you sound like Oprah. Does Oprah know about you?

John

Dear John,

Thank you for all your compliments. I am glad to hear you shared my story with your therapist. It’s important for him to know where you’re coming from. I appreciate your thoughts on my becoming an advice columnist. I do love to write and enjoy answering questions. However, I am not a professional therapist and can’t give medical advice. All I can do is share my opinion and point of view from my own life experiences.

As far as what I do for a living? I work as an administrator for a not-for-profit organization. I spend my days listening to others and helping them if I can. It is my hope that I can make a difference trying to guide them to their next destination.

I am not sure if Oprah knows about me. I did send her a letter once. I’ve enjoyed watching The Oprah Show from the beginning. I believe my ex-alters learned many life lessons from her show. I would love to meet Oprah someday. I have always admired her strength to survive and all that she continues to do to help others.

Karen

Comment by Diana on August 8, 2008 5:21 pm

Karen,

I’m so thrilled with the opportunity to address my comments to you. I’m an avid reader and sometimes read 10 books in a month. So, I just graabbed the book at the library when I was there, not realizing it was a true story. I was appalled at the book when I began it, but found myself growing intrigued by the possibilities you showed and then I was amazed at how you were able to manage your life.

Congratulations on the completion of your long journey. I was just so amazed at how brilliant you are. Just imagine what wonderful things you might have done as a child if you had been nurtured instead of abused. The alters you created were incredible and so vastly talented. I hope you can now use your brilliant mind to create some wonderful things for the wide world of which you had been so deprived. It seems that your friends must be very privileged to have you as their friend.

We all need close friends. Have you been able to share your stories with anyone besides your therapist and family?

Did your siblings receive any of the physical abuse, even if they weren’t subject to the sexual exploitation? I can’t imagine all this going on around them without them ever asking questions (kids being kids) and seeking answers. Particularly with you being so bright, your brothers must have been bright as well. Didn’t your brothers realize that some of this was going on? With your father as their male role model, I fear how that might have gone, but Dr. Baer never made much reference to them (possibly for their protection). I realize he was able to write about your father and grandfather in a negative way because they are gone. I’m thinking there is more to this story, which is yet to be told…maybe someday.

It also seems to me that perhaps your father and grandfather were of the ilk that also may have been bright and talented and were unable to find an adequate way to channel their minds as with many of the juvenile delinquents who have too many brains and too much time on their hands.

It seems like your story just underlines the idea that abusive children end up being abusive parents. Your grandfather must have been a horror. I think you mentioned your grandmother taking abuse from your grandfather, too. All the women in your family had a really hard time of it. Sounds like Ku Klux Klan type of attitudes personified.

I don’t blame you for your bad relationship with your mother. I realize she may have been abused herself but she should have protected her children any way she could. She must be a very weak woman. I wouldn’t feel guilty at all about not having a relationship with her. She may deserve sympathy, but she doesn’t deserve your affection. Your parents gave you one thing – a will to be a better parent to your own children. Enjoy them.

All in all, I think you’ve come through it amazingly. You had to be a very strong person at birth to be able to save yourself, even as a small child.

Thank you for the opportunity to share my thoughts. I hope you continue to grow into a healthy, strong, vibrant person who can self-confidently go out into the world and be who you were meant to be! I’ll be here cheering you on! After sharing so much of your past, I’ll be looking to hear about your future accomplishments.

Good luck!

Dear Diana,

Thank you for all your compliments! Your words have touched me. It’s true I had to spend most of my life in survivor mode and didn’t have the chance to accomplish all that I wanted to. My journey has been hard, but I am here now trying my best to “catch up” to where I’d like to be. I often wonder what it would’ve been like to have been nutured instead of abused. I was fortunate to get a sense of being nurtured during my therapeutic relationship with Dr. Baer. I believe Dr. Baer’s unconditional care provided me with a sense of who I was meant to be.

My alters were developed in order to help me survive through a difficult, horrific childhood, and help keep me safe until I matured enough to deal with the pain. At this time I am trying to discover all that I am with all the combined talents from each alter. I continue to learn more about myself each day.

I treasure my friends and am honored to have them. During the intense part of therapy, I tried my best not to bring my distress into my friendships. When the book was finished, I held my breath and prayed that they would continue to care about me after reading my horrific story. My story isn’t always a pleasure to read. All of the friends I chose to share with have accepted me still and continue to be great support. I am very grateful, and I love them all. My friends have become my family.

My siblings suffered physical abuse at the hands of my father. My siblings, like myself, each have had their own journeys to go through. There is no way my siblings couldn’t be affected having had the same abusive father, grandfather, and dysfunctional family. My brothers didn’t have a positive father role model. How could they? They always suspected something was happening to me while we were children, and now can easily put two and two together that they are adults. They observed my father’s abusive behavior on a daily basis, and heard his sexually abusive comments against me, my mother, and all women. These men were immature, insecure abusers who tortured those close to them because they were easiest to control and gain access to.

Thank you again for all of yours thoughts. And especially for encouraging me to move forward in confidence.

All the Best,

Karen

Comment by Candace D. on August 7, 2008 11:09 pm

Dear Karen,

How do you deal with stories in the news that talk about abused children, domestic violence and general violence?

Candace D.
Texas

Dear Candace,

It’s hard to listen to the news at times. It saddens me to hear of a child being abused, a woman being raped or beaten, and violence by angry individuals. I just wish it never would happen. I believe the media shares these stories to bring awareness to the public, so such activities aren’t be kept secret. There are certain times, especially when I feel weak, that I need to turn off the news.

It’s heartbreaking for me to hear these stories and not be able to help. One reason I allowed my story to be told was in hope that women and children who are targets of violence can get help before becoming chronic victims. I believe there are early signs that many women don’t pay attention to that signal they and their children in danger.

Karen

Comment by Jennette on August 4, 2008 12:08 am

Dear Karen,

Your answer was marvelous to my previous question, can you please enlighten me with a little more? I’m somewhat curious if you took your children to see the new Batman movie Dark Night? If you did how did the Joker character affect you? Did you ever hire a clown for your children’s birthday parties? I have a small child, age of eight, that also hates clowns and your wisdom may help. The part of your answer that described why you dislike clowns appears right on.

Thank you,
Jennette

Dear Jennette,

I don’t mind answering another question for you. I hear your concern about your child’s fear of clowns. I did see this movie and it scared the heck out of me. In my opinion, it’s too harsh of a movie for an eight year old who fears clowns. I try not to fear something that’s not real, but the Joker was too much of a terrifying, “real life” clown for me.

What scared me was not only the Joker’s evil looking painted clown face, but the manipulative ways in which he acted. The Joker’s eyes were so frightening; he looked as if he could’ve been one of my abusers. The movements he made and his creepy laugh were so like one of the men in a clown mask who abused me that one Halloween night.

I never hired a clown for my children’s birthday parties. As a matter of fact, if I knew a clown was present at one of their friend’s parties, I wouldn’t go. I’ve never shared my dislike of clowns with my children when they were young, but as adults, they know about my dislike of clowns, and they like to tease me once in awhile.

Karen

Comment by John on August 3, 2008 3:52 pm

Hello Karen,

I couldn’t believe you chose my question to answer. Thank you. How interesting your answer was. Tell me. I know I was abused as a child. Since I started therapy I am uncomfortable. I didn’t tell my girlfriend yet. Do you think I should? In one of your answers to another question you said your husband didn’t treat you the same after he found out about your past. I fear this may happen to me to. Should I wait awhile before sharing with my girlfriend? Thanks.

John

Dear John,

Thank you for asking another question! I am sorry to hear you also suffered abuse as a child. I can understand your concern in telling your girlfriend so early in your relationship. I would suggest you discuss this with your therapist. Therapy is not an easy process, but necessary to begin before you can start to feel better about yourself. I encourage you to take time to heal. If you do, you and your girlfriend will benefit. Not being a therapist myself I can only say that telling your girlfriend is a very personal matter, and no one other than yourself knows the answer to whether or when you should share this. There’s no need to rush into sharing all that you’ve just begun to explore.

I, myself, never felt comfortable talking over episodes of abuse. With my ex-husband, he felt betrayed I did not tell him I was abused before we got married. In my situation, my memories were dissociated and I couldn’t share something I couldn’t articulate beforehand.

Karen