Comment by Cyndi on 18 Mar 2011 at 6:14 am

Dear Karen,

What’s up? If you are there please let us know? Heard a rumor you were seriously or critically ill? Is there anything we can do to cheer you up as you do all of us? Does Dr. Baer care enough to let us know about your well being? do you need someone to listen to you? Crazy days happen. Illness happens. Praying for your safety. Love to hear from you. Me and a few of my classmates here in Kentucky.

Cyndi, and Becca, Shannon, Mari and Fiona

Dear Cyndi, Becca, Shannon, Mari and Fiona,

I’m here, but I’m just a bit behind in my Web posting as I take another road on my journey to wholeness. I have recently moved from Chicago to Texas and doing my best to adjust to my new surroundings. I have been missing my Chicago connections but making new friends in Texas. Please know that I will always do my best to answer questions here, on Facebook, on Sam’s “All Things Relevant” motivational radio program, and more.

I thank God I’m not seriously or critically ill, but just living my life to my best ability.  I’m so happy to hear from everyone. What’s makes me happy is knowing that so many care about me and continue to pray and support my well-being. I’m blessed because of friends like you. Thank you!

I’m sure that if something would happen to me, Dr. Baer would post a comment and share!  I agree, we all need someone to talk to. I’m no different. When I need to, I call Dr. Baer and he listens. We have a very special respectful relationship and I know he cares and will always be there for me. Of course I have crazy days at times, but I have learned so much from Dr. Baer that whenever I am having one of those days, I think of him and already know what he would say. I’ve learned my lessons well.

Thank you all for writing to me, sharing and caring!

Love always, Karen

Comment by Kelly on 15 Mar 2011 at 11:40 pm

I have read this book at least 4 times. I love it and I feel so bad that you went through this in your life.

I’m glad your doing better though!

Dear Kelly,

Thank you for sharing! Four times! WOW! You’ve read it more than I have!  I appreciate your kind thoughts. Please don’t feel bad. I am doing better and continue to be my best self and live the life I once only dreamt of.

Wishing you a wonderful day!

Karen

Comment by John on 15 Mar 2011 at 3:40 am

Dear Karen,

I have read your book with great interest and would greatly value your opinion on the following.

While researching a book on a Dutch cult, I came across an alleged cult member, who was also a victim, who claimed to be physically unable to reveal the secrets because one of her alters believed that a wild panther has been sown in her stomach. If ever the cult member was tempted to reveal the secret, this alter would become very agitated because she believed the panther started moving and was scared it would tear her insides.

Does such a story sound theoritically credible to you as a mechanism for keeping the abuse secret?

Kind regards,

John

Dear John,

Yes, it does! During the many years I endured abuse my system and alters needed to protect me to the best of their ability. There were alters who guarded my secrets so well that they even threatened to kill anyone, including Dr. Baer, who found out. Time and again during therapy, when on the verge of sharing the details of my abuse, I’d become ill. It turned out that my feeling ill, distressed, and severe headaches came from the mere thought of exposing my dark thoughts and horror. At times I feared someone would come after Dr. Baer and kill him just because I was his patient.

Dr. Baer was able to access a safe room within me during our hypnosis sessions where my alters were able to feel secure and share. Trusting Dr. Baer and his assuring me that he could take care of himself and handle whatever my alters told him eventually allowed my secrets to unfold. It takes time to build trust. My fears lessened as I shared. I assumed my secrets were more powerful than God. I was wrong. Dr. Baer taught me to stay on the side of reality. At first I told him “My reality is different than yours,” but he would bring me right back to reality. This cult member may have been told this story about the panther by her abusers to try to keep their secrets, and a child part of her could have believed it, so the story could theoretically be true.

It is my hope that I have helped in some way. Wishing you all my best during your research.

Karen

Comment by Nicki on 06 Mar 2011 at 10:42 pm

This is the first time I could not put down a book. I am so intrigued by your story, and you are so inspiring to know that no matter how difficult life can be, everything turns out to be okay.

Dear Nicki,

Life is a never-ending journey to become your own best self. I appreciate your kind thoughts. Thank you! Living is a challenge but knowledge helps each of us move forward.  I learn something new about myself each day and was fortunate to find the right help at the right time. Dr. Baer was God sent. My life is a blessing.  Never ever give up hope because hope is right around the corner.

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Becca on 04 Mar 2011 at 1:30 am

Hi, im 15 years old and from new zealand. I was also sexually abused. not as bad as your abuse though, When it happend and after i reported it, i was suppose to get love and support from my family etc, instead i got blame and punishment, i have just realised now, that i was treated wrongly and i never got help or support that i needed. now i have some really really intense weird problem. I feel its like some kind of mental problem because i know its not normal. I dont know what to do, because im not old enough to be able to deal with it properly, eg: see a phycologist, councillor etc what should i do?your book also touched me in many ways. Im glad you could get help.

Dear Becca,

Thank you for sharing. I am glad my story triggered something within you to write to me. Please know abuse is abuse. It doesn’t matter whether it happened once or many times, the trauma is the same. Once violated, it’s hard to feel good about oneself. I understand how you may be feeling. I sought love and support from family members, but my feelings were quickly dismissed and I continued to be hurt. I was told not to mention it again. At times I was even told the abuse must have been a figment of my imagination. Sometimes I was told I was to blame and brought it on myself. I felt sad and alone. But there is help out there for you no matter what your age. It’s important for you to confide in a trusted adult, school counselor, or authority figure. Report your abuser to the police. I know it won’t be easy but think about how bad you would feel if your abuser kept on abusing other young girls. Remember you were sexually abused and it was not your fault. No matter what you were told or how you feel the abuser is at fault. Abuse is abuse. Please seek help.

I admit, I too, was afraid to seek help and share the horrors of my abuse but it was in my best interest to regain the woman I was born to me.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your journey of healing. I have faith in you.

Karen