Comment by Louise on 21 Sep 2011 at 9:12 pm

I really felt your presence next to me when I read your story. I am praying for you. Did you know that there are a lot of people who feel the same way as I do. My reading club finished your book and out of all thirteen of us not one felt anything less than inspired by you. I hope you don’t mind my asking the following questions? It will help me understood more before you write the next book. What is your relationships like now with your mother? and with Dr. Baer? Do you communicate with them? If you do can you give me an example of how you view these relationships years after healing? Thank you. In His name.

Louise

Dear Louise,

I’m touched by your believing in me as well as hearing your reading club’s thoughts. I don’t know what to say but thank you for sharing this moment with me. I don’t mind answering any questions and will below.

My mother and I continue to have a strained relationship. What I mean by this is that I’m always there for her and help her by taking her to and from doctor appointments, the grocery store, etc., but we rarely have any meaningful discussions about the past. My mother is more about herself than paying attention to any of my needs. This past year she has briefly mentioned things that confirm she knew about my being abused, and that she didn’t pay attention to my hurts as most moms would. She wasn’t there for me as a child. As an adult , she’s helped me a few times with non-emotional things like cleaning my house after I had surgery. I spend brief periods of time with my mom, such as over coffee, and end up listening to her go on and on about herself. Though I’ve forgiven her, I continue to feel saddened by our relationship. My mother is in her seventies, and I don’t believe she will ever make amends.  My mother had been abused, too, not that that’s an excuse. For me, it simply means she needs help.  But her narcissism won’t let her.

Dr. Baer and I will always be connected because we share a bond built on trust and respect. A bond like ours, tested time again, cannot be broken. Our journey to healing me was a once in a lifetime event and the reason we continue to share our story. Dr. Baer and I will remain respectful friends forever.

Thank you for your questions. God bless you.

Karen

Comment by Barnaby on 18 Sep 2011 at 7:55 am

Dear Karen,

I marvel with fascination upon finishing my read of your story. I am inspired and know fully that there is hope for the horrifically abused. I do hope you continue to share your story. People like me benefit from your wisdom. You ARE a angel personally chosen by God. Bless you. I do wonder about your future. Do continue to write.

Dear Barnaby,

Thank you so much for your support and kind thoughts. I truly feel inspired to continue encouraging hope through sharing my story. I’m touched to hear that my story has inspired you. What’s most important to me is to help those who have been, or know of someone, who has been abused like me.

I’ve been blessed. I know God is always nearby. I’m currently working on writing a sequel to Switching Time. It will be a blessing to share more some day.

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Dr. Dan on 14 Sep 2011 at 9:16 am

Hello karen, with the ending of therapy you must have ecperiened the ultimate reality shock of richard baer not being real, relationships once assumed cancelled out as if you no longer matter. I assume your pain to be unbearable. How did you manage your well being? What lessons have you learned? That is the story I wish to read in your sequel. Dr. dan

Dear Dr. Dan,

Dr. Baer not real? Cancelled out? I don’t think so. Dr. Baer is very much alive and an important part of my life. We share a respectful friendship and I know I matter to Dr. Baer.  Besides, why would he cancel out our relationship after all that we have accomplished in over eighteen years of work? I admit, there have been ups and downs, but we quickly resolve all issues that threaten our relationship. There is no need to make amends because my pain is not unbearable.

Together, as a team, we have done very well. Sharing our story presented a few new issues to deal with; the legalities of writing a book can be tough on any relationship, but that remains between me and Dr. Baer. My journey continues on. Dr. Baer is there for me if I need him, but I’m trying my best to live my life and be my best self. And yes, the sequel will most certainly tell more of my continuing journey to wellness.

I’m most grateful for Dr. Baer’s care. I would not be here without his support. I truly believe our story is amazing and one of a kind. Dr. Baer and I respect each other and share a forever kind of bond.

Thank you for sharing; I hope my answer changes your thoughts about therapy and relationships.

Karen

Comment by Ray on 12 Sep 2011 at 12:20 am

If thoughts could kill do you believe you would have killed your abusers? You once wrote a mind is a powerful thing. How did you know things beforhand? Can you still predict things?

Ray

Dear Ray,

Kill my abusers? Yes, I admit, I had those thoughts at times, but doing so wouldn’t have made me feel any better about myself. Not only would I still have been abused, but I would carry the guilt of killing another human being. I believe it’s not my job to judge, and that God will take care of those who abused me. I let it go so that I can move forward to become my best self. It’s against my nature to hurt anyone.  My abusers may have hurt me, but if I turned to violence like them, it would mean they would have won. I’m alive and well. My abusers are dead.

I did say that “the mind is a powerful thing” through an alter. I believe I meant that we choose our own destiny. If I choose to be a victim, then I’ll always feel like a victim. I chose instead to constantly be on guard and that has taught me to trust my instincts. That’s a bit different than predicting things.  I listen intently to others, have compassion, and know that my instincts are usually right. I trust myself.

Thank you for your challenging questions.

Karen

Comment by Afaye on 11 Sep 2011 at 10:06 am

I am a simple man from China.  I read Richard Baer’s Switching Time.  it’s not only an book, it’s a dictionary.  Thank you for giving me such a wonderful time.  It’s my first time I can’t sleep after reading a book.  Hope u geting well, thank you, thank you, take care. kiss u

Dear Afaye,

Thank you for sharing!  Switching Time is not meant to be a dictionary or guide book, but we did hope it would teach people about an incomprehensible illness. Our book is the story of one psychiatrist, Richard Baer, and one patient, me, and how we managed to work together as a team to heal me through many years of work.  I believe Dr. Baer did a great job! Our story is a success story shared. Our journey to heal me came from building mutual trust and respect. I’m grateful for all that Dr. Baer has done for me and for the reward of being able to bring knowledge and understanding to people.

I’m doing well; I thank you for your concern.

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Aleska on 24 Aug 2011 at 4:08 pm

Hi Karen! My name’s Aleksa and I’m seventeen years old. I’m from Australia. Four days ago I was in the library looking for about three books I needed for school but I couldn’t find them. Instead, I stumbled upon the book about your life story. Instead this one is called ‘A life in pieces’. I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re so so so amazing and strong. I hope to be as strong as you someday as I’ve been in a battle with depression all of my life since I fell into a hot bathtub when I was 3 years old, leaving me with a horrible scar. I’m currently half way through the book and I’m absolutely amazed. How are your alters today? I would like to say hi to each and every one of them. My favourite is probably Miles and Katherine, and you of course. I just wanted to say that I look up to you so much and hope to aspire half of what you have one day. I am also a writer and I try to write everyday as much as I can.

Much love,

Aleksa. xoxo

Dear Aleksa,

Thank you for sharing your journey and finding my story! That’s amazing! I believe there’s a reason for everything. And though you mentioned you are only half way through reading my story, you may have already found the answer to your question. My alters have merged within me. I am my alters and my alters are me. We are one.

Please know that you are only as strong as you believe yourself to be. Have faith and know that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. I understand how you may be feeling about having a scar. You didn’t mentioned where, but I , too, have a scar from childhood on my forehead, but I no longer pay much attention to it.

I am not a therapist and can’t give advice but I know from my past that my scar does not define me. I am me and will always strive to be my best self. Beauty comes from within. Have faith and believe in yourself.

Keep on writing!

Karen

Comment by Boulefkhad on 22 Aug 2011 at 5:34 pm

hello dear karen i think that is a very good blog thank you and good luck for you.

Dear Boulefkhad,

Thank you very much for sharing your kind thoughts! I truly appreciate your compliment and to know you read my blog!

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Carol on 12 Aug 2011 at 12:13 pm

Hi Karen,

I am reading the book Switching Time, and have been awestruck at the number of similarities we share. Everything from being overweight without understanding how I got that way to losing time; and so much more. I had to put the book away (temporarily) because I can’t seem to be able to read about integration. I’ll read it eventually.

I know you’ve probably heard lots of people’s stories, and I won’t waste your time with mine. Just as there are many similarities between us, there are differences too. I didn’t experience the awful trauma that you endured. I have always had more communication with the various aspects of myself. I thought they were my conscience.

Dear Carol,

Thank you for sharing! I’m glad you put the book aside for now. I admire that you are able to set limits for yourself as to how much you can handle and take in. I empathize with your concern about integration. I don’t regret my integration. I didn’t lose my alters during integration because they will always be a part of me. My alters merged within me and we are now all one. The only difference is there is no one alter acting out their individual lives. I never felt I lost anyone. I feel whole and maintain the variety of talents and capabilities I received from them.

I’m blessed. It’s amazing to be one woman. On occasion I’ll think I miss my alters, but that thought quickly disappears when I recall the chaos I lived with. Integration gives me a wonderful feeling of freedom. I’m happy and live my life without fear of losing time. To feel a sense of calm and live as one is the greatest gift I ever received.

I would love to know your story! Please share if you want to, here or through my Facebook private message. Everyone has a story and yours is important, too! Sharing will help your healing.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Karen

Comment by Bethany on 07 Aug 2011 at 8:40 am

I had the privilege of meeting you and you glow with the holy spirit. It is awesome to see one of God’s creations beat all odds and become a compassionate person. I felt angels in around you. I believe you are a warrior of God; nothing will ever change my opinion of you. I hold you in my heart and pray for you because you have given me a taste of faith I didn’t know I had. A taste of what survival can be for me if I take care of myself and have faith. Once met, but forever a memory. Thank you for being you. I believe.

Bethany

Dear Bethany,

I don’t know what to say but thank you so much for having faith in me. I’m blessed and truly believe that it takes faith, God, and many wonderful people supporting and helping each other, sharing and caring for each other, as we learn from each other. I’m grateful to all who have come into my life teaching me lessons and strengthening my spirit so that I could move forward. Thank you. God bless you

Karen

Comment by Denise on 05 Aug 2011 at 9:06 pm

I just finished listening to your story on tape. It was the hardest story I ever listened to but I couldn’t stop. I am blessed to work on a psych unit with patients who have overcome great odds in their healing journey. Like Dr. Baer I am always amazed at the power of the mind. The only problem with the tape is it would have been easier to listen to if Lloyd James, the narrator talked in the same voice instead of lowering his voice and trying to make you sound like a weak, pitiful man/woman. You have great strength but his voice made you sound whiney which I know for a fact you are not. You are the strongest, bravest woman I know. Good Luck to you.

Denise

Dear Denise,

Thank you for sharing!  I agree somewhat.  Lloyd has an amazing voice and in my opinion, that voice should have been used throughout the entire recording.

I truly appreciate your compliment regarding my strength not coming through and my sounding whiney. I am touched that you believe me to be the strongest, bravest woman you know! Thank you so much!

I’m glad you shared about your work on a psych unit.  ! It’s nice to hear someone who has compassion like you do while helping those on your unit overcome great odds! I know your job must be difficult at times but helping people on their healing journey is forever rewarding and appreciated.

Good luck in all you do…Bless you!

Karen