Comment by john michael vanOson 24 May 2010 at 5:53 am

Hello ANGEL Karen.

GREAT WORK Here.

Keep Doin’

What Ya’ Doin’

Which IS

Doin’ Good

Which IS

Doin’ Good

For OTHERS

Which IS

Doin’ Good

For

SELF

Which IS

YOUR Self

Which IS

OUR SELVES.

YOU IS Beautiful In EveryWay.

A Beautiful Being Of LIGHT.

LOVE.

Always

John xxxxx

Melbourne Australia

I Am Happy WE Friends On Facebook.

Dear John,

Thank you so much! What a warm welcoming message! Happy to meet you, too!

Wishing you a wonderful day!

Karen

Comment by Revi on 21 May 2010 at 11:30 pm

Hello Karen.

Please to meet you. Thank you for friendship on facebook. Very happy you kind to accept me. I would like to get to know you. I am professor of psychology in India. Good people you are. Happiness sent to you. I study english it not so good. I know about your suffering and sad you hurt. Good luck to you.

Revi

Dear Revi,

Thank you for your friendship!  I am glad to meet you, too!  I appreciate your support. I accept the happiness you send to me and I’m honored by your kindness. Thank you for understanding my suffering and for your well wishes.

Please know that if you have any questions for Dr. Baer or myself, you can ask them here.

Have a nice day!

Karen

Comment by Kathleen Schramm on 21 May 2010 at 9:50 am

I ordered Switching Time today. I look forward to learning more of your story.

Dear Kathleen,

Thank you for ordering Switching Time! Dr. Baer and I truly appreciate hearing from you. It is my desire to encourage hope through sharing my story.  Please know that if you have any questions, you can ask them here on my blog.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Karen

Comment by Nancy on 20 May 2010 at 10:01 pm

Dear Karen.

Thank you for inspiring me to live well. After I finished reading your book I grew up in sorts. I was demanding, childish and saw myself in your story. Thank you for helping me. I had a very hard time putting your book down. Do you ever wonder what it would be like today if your alters were spared?

Nancy

Dear Nancy,

Thank you for choosing to live!  I am happy to hear from you. Sometimes reading about someone else’s journey changes your own perspective on life. What was once so important turns out to be not so important after all. In truth, we all learn something new about ourselves after each experience we encounter. That is growth and maturity. I know that when I read an inspirational story, good thoughts fill me with knowledge and understanding of something other than myself. I awaken a part in me that gains nourishment, hope, and the ability to move forward.

I can’t imagine what would happen if my alters were still present as they once were. I have grown to accept that I am one woman and no longer need alter help. When my alters were a necessary part of my life, there was much confusion and alter chaos. I was depressed, suicidal, and could never envision any happiness in my future. Multiplicity is a sad life.

Since my alters are me and I am my alters, their individual parts are no longer required to come to my rescue.

Thank you for your compliments.

Karen

Comment by Isabella on 18 May 2010 at 7:34 pm

Hi Karen,

How do you put up with annoying people? I have DID and have been in therapy for three years. As the days move along more and more people annoy me. Did you ever feel this way? I can’t believe how much strength I learned from you through your writing. Thanks. I would not be here if it were not from your calm presence in my soul.

Isabella

France

Dear Isabella,

Great question! How to put up with annoying people?  Any suggestions? Of course I’ve felt the same as you, and there are times I still do. During my therapy years when I was emotionally drained, I tried to stay away from those who stressed me. But that’s not possible if you happen to live with or near one. I felt frustrated at times but never confidant enough to say STOP. I was the great listener and diffuser. Yet no one but Dr. Baer heard me.

I never shared with anyone what was discussed in my therapy sessions. The more I learned from Dr. Baer from how he listened to me, the more I paid attention to myself, and the better I felt. I need to take time for myself to heal. What I once assumed was selfishness on my part proved to be a necessity in order to survive and live my life. I had to let go of those who annoyed me until I was well enough to decide whether I needed that person in my life. I believe people come into your life for a reason. Annoying people are there for a season. I found that once they no longer receive your undivided attention, they move on to someone else. True friends don’t annoy you; they respect you.

During therapy, I found the stronger I became, the less I could tolerate annoying people and dysfunctional relationships. Maybe that’s what’s happening to you.

Though I no longer enable others and understand the need to focus more on myself, I continue to feel drained at times from the constant I neediness I experience from some people.  In my job this is a constant challenge. I understand this now. During therapy I did the same to Dr. Baer. I now walk away, and with caller ID, I simply choose whether or not I’m able to listen at that moment. There are times when I’m open to conversation, but not when feeling sad, deep in thought, or working on healing myself.

My sanity and time is important. So sometimes I put up a WALL (wait a little longer). Believe it or not those who call me with urgency often have soon forgotten why they called me in the first place. I realize they just found someone else to annoy.

Thank you for your challenging questions and for all you compliments!

Karen

Comment by Patrick, UK on 15 May 2010 at 7:35 am

Good morning, Karen!

Finished reading A Life in Pieces yesterday. I am happy for you. I hope you have less stress in life. I believe you are one remarkable woman. Thanking you for allowing others to see through your eyes the entire process of MPD. I am honored to know you. Joining you on facebook. Please accept my friend request.

Patrick UK

Dear Patrick,

Thank you for your kind thoughts and compliments! I truly appreciated hearing them. As you know by now, I have accepted your Facebook friend request. It’s my desire to encourage hope through sharing my story. Looking forward to getting to know you.

Karen

Comment by Cherice Kay on 13 May 2010 at 9:30 am

Dear Karen,

WOW! and double WOW, WOW! I just finished reading your book. I am sitting at my desk in shock. I mean really in shock. I feel exhausted but not tired. I had to find you and write to you. I wish you were right in front of me so I could hug you. I have never read a book that caused extreme emotional exhaustion on me. I am going to bed now. I will be cuddling up under my covers and dreaming of the wonderful woman I just finished reading about. Healing. You accomplished it. You healed yourself. Your alter told your therapist how to heal you. WOW, WOW, WOW! Why did you have to pay? You were your own therapist. WOW! Richard Baer was lucky you chose him to help you. Fate is what it’s called. Great team work but Karen you knew you were your own therapist all along, didn’t you? God knows it, too! God has blessed you! Never forget it! Thank you for writing your book through Richard Baer.

Cherice Kay

Dear Cherice Kay,

Thank you for all your compliments and sharing your enthusiasm. I have no words to thank you for all the optimism you shared. But I am touched by your excitement and the challenge my story has given you.

I am proud of my healing, but admit I needed help and it was a gift to have a great therapist who was able to care for me unconditionally for many years. I was fortunate to have been blessed with what I needed: a safe place to express and share my horrific past. Not many could say they had such perfect timing and luck with a therapist. I feel privileged to have found Dr. Baer. He definitely came into my life when I needed help the most.

Though it’s true my alter Holdon gave Dr. Baer an idea about what he believed would help in the process of integration, it was impossible for Holdon to be on the outside looking in while it happened. Dr. Baer was my mentor and coach, and guided the process. I believe healing and integration was possible after years of building rapport between the alters, Dr. Baer and me. It was teamwork at it’s best!

In a way, there is some truth in the idea of healing oneself. That’s what good therapy is… the doctor providing a safe setting, turning himself into a wall for one to bounce and reflect thoughts off of, and a mirror so that we can experience our true uniqueness.

In a way you are correct when you mention I healed myself. I healed myself while Dr. Baer protected me from myself. I was on a collision course. Dr. Baer steered me in the right direction for I was too blind to see.

Thank you for all your compliments!

Karen

Comment by Lisa on 13 May 2010 at 8:41 am

Hi Karen,

I feel sad. It’s the middle of the night and I integrated my first alter yesterday. I read your book and thought I knew what to expect but feel sad anyway. Could it be I expected a quick fix? Did you feel my way? I feel suicidal at the moment but read somewhere here that you said the feeling will pass ‘This too shall pass’ is what you said. I know I won’t receive your answer before my next appointment. I don’t expect an answer at all. I was thinking of you and your strength and courage and faith. I have agreed to integration only after hearing what it did for you. I would love to know how you are handling life today without your alters. I wish you had written a follow-up book. I miss the one who integrated yesterday. Patsy was fifteen and caused me a lot of stress. Patsy finally calmed down after years of therapy and was first to want to integrate. I loved the new her, the new improved Patsy with therapy. I will miss that Patsy, not the one who caused me grief at first. Enough said.

Thank you to being someone I could write to in the middle of the night. Who else can I share with this unbelievable process? People already think I am a crazy person. (joking). Thank you Karen. Thank you Richard Baer. Just providing knowledge helped me make my decision to integrate. If this were fifty years ago you and me may have been locked away in a sanitarium. Can you believe how time changes thoughts on the mentally ill. Love you Karen. Sleep tight. I know I’ll be okay. I am brave like you. I am smart like you. I even care about people like you.

Lisa

Dear Lisa,

Thank you for sharing! I understand how you’re feeling. I felt the same way, too. There were many thoughts running through my mind after each integration, but the first was the hardest. Dr. Baer and I had no idea what to expect—how I would react, how we would feel, and whether integration would work. But we tried and were successful. Why? Not just because of the integration, but the years of therapy and healing that led up to integration. Integration was simply the last step before growth in a new direction. I never lost my alters through integration; I gained the best part of each of them. My alters are me. I am my alters.

I admit, I felt suicidal, too. Integration is a huge challenge. There are expectations, wishful thinking, and fantasies that everything will be perfect. But that’s far from the truth. Integration is a step toward healing, but not the end of healing. After integration, it took a few more years to become one integrated woman, who gained all senses, wisdom, and knowledge from the many different parts of me. That alone began a new path on my journey to wellness.

I am glad you chose to write me in the middle of the night and appreciate that you understand my response may be slow to post. It’s my hope you are feeling much better now that a bit of time has passed. I have faith in you. I believe you will survive, too. Take time to heal. Remember this is your time. One day when your integration is complete you will look back and see that you have not lost anything, but gained all that you need to move forward.

Wishing you all my best for an abuse free future filled with good things, happiness, and success!

Karen

Comment by Richard on 13 May 2010 at 4:09 am

Hi Karen. Thank you. Book was very helpful to me. My wife claimed to suffer from MPD during our divorce proceedings. First I ever heard of it. In thirty three years of marriage not once did she ever discuss this fact with me. I bought your book for clarification after a mutual friend of ours told me he believed my wife read your book. Quite a coincidence to what she shared before the judge. I am saddened and encouraged by your story. Saddened that some like my soon to be ex wife mock and use innocent survivors to gain attention. Encouraged that you survived horrific abuse. Too bad your husband was an ass and refused to support your healing. I have given my wife everything I could, a home, love and she claimed your illness as an excuse for her infidelity. According to her an alter had her many affairs not her. I would take her back in a moment if she were truthful. Unfortunately I can’t. Switching Time is a great book to teach about dissociation. Gook luck to you.

Richard

Tampa Bay, Florida

Dear Richard,

I’m sorry to hear that your wife used my story for attention. What interests me is why? There are many different illnesses to choose from and a true multiple would have shown signs much earlier.  In my opinion, no multiple can keep her illness hidden during thirty-three years of marriage.  Multiplicity is not an easy illness to hide from someone living with you.

I am glad you purchased Switching Time to help you understand the illness, but please know that the book is my story and that each multiple’s circumstances and past life are unique and can’t be compared to another. It does sadden me when I hear someone uses multiplicity as an excuse for inappropriate actions.

Thank you for feeling encouraged by my survival and for sharing. I appreciate hearing stories such as yours because it helps me understand how people process the knowledge gained from my story. There have been a few others who used my story to gain greater empathy with their families, friends or therapist.

I’m not a therapist and can’t give advice, but in my opinion your wife needs professional help. There must be deeper reasons behind her action. Whether she chose to lie for attention or to cover an affair doesn’t matter. I believe your wife was hurting and chose a way to deflect her true issues. It’s my hope she seeks help from a qualified therapist. Thirty-three years of marriage is a long time to throw away before trying to save it.

Wishing you a sense of calm.  I hope all works out for the best!

Karen

Comment by Beatrice on 10 May 2010 at 7:49 pm

Karen,

What do you think helps more, being a multiple, ex-multiple or survivor? The book was the most amazing book I ever read. I can’t get over your survival. Love you.

Beatrice, Canada

Dear Beatrice,

What helps more? I’m not sure I understand your question. Being a multiple, overcoming multiplicity, and living life as one is not an easy journey. There is no comparison between before, during, and after integration. My path was needed. No one can live life in a straight line. My life, just like many lives, branched off into different roads. But most of all, each step along my path was needed for me to heal. I believe there is a reason for everything.

My survival came from my will to live, heal, and my determination to use my healing to help others. All is meant to be. Sadly, as a victim of abuse, my journey was far from pleasant. What’s important to me is too leave the past where it belongs. All that I have experienced has added strength for me to live my life to the best of my ability.

I hope my thoughts answer your questions, please know that you can always write me again.

Karen