Comment by Mrs. Winters, UK on 30 Mar 2010 at 8:42 am

Hello Karen and Richard,

Please let me know how the book is doing. I have never read such a powerful story before yours. There are millions of books out there. But during these hard times abuse victims need enlightenment on survival. It is my take on ‘A Life in Pieces’ to be something of a miracle story. Our world is in chaos. People need to hear through trauma there is hope and we can prevail from illness. I suffered depressive episodes. I could have extinguished my life and died. Keep on, Richard and Karen, keep on. Thank you.

Mrs. Winters, UK

Dear Mrs. Winters.

Our book is selling slow and steady. We hope my story, documented in Switching Time, continues to do good by encouraging hope and bringing knowledge of the incomprehensible illness, multiplicity, to everyone. Every day we are blessed with a few more sales and I smile knowing that through my story, someone may begin to heal. Many readers write and share how much reading my story has helped them overcome some obstacle in their life or from their past. For me, that’s a miracle in itself. I feel privileged to receive support and compliments from readers all around the world.

I believe we all travel our own journeys to wellness and in sharing our stories we learn something new about ourselves. I believe stories such as mine help bring healing when one recognizes that a part of my pain is within them, too.  Those of us who have suffered from abuse have similar feelings and hurts. It takes time to heal, and healing begins once the pain is confronted.

Thank you for wishing Dr. Baer and me to keep on. We most certainly will.

Karen

Comment by Martha on 30 Mar 2010 at 1:52 pm

Karen! I am excited for you! You were right on with your opinions and comments of the United States of Tara show. Diablo Cody herself quoted the following: ..the reason I couldn’t get past episode one.
 This show was just poorly written and embarrassing.
 I admire the fact that even she said she wouldn’t have watched the first season. It takes courage to admit your shortcomings and boy did this show have a lot.
 You are a true multiple Karen, Dr. Baer is a true psychiatrist. Why can’t the show hire you guys?
 All my wishes for good fortune sent your way. Blessings.

Martha

Dear Martha,

Thank you for believing I am right about USoT, but I am just one woman sharing my personal opinion. I am simply doing my best to help others understand the truth about multiplicity based on my own personal experiences. I am not a professional or an expert: just one woman who survived an illness.

Thank you for wishing Dr. Baer and I should be hired to help the writers of USoT. That’s a great compliment. It would be an honor to help the staff bring truth to the show. If asked, I would jump at the chance. But it’s not my story and I don’t believe the show’s staff wants realism. Though I have to admit some of what happened to my family and me could be material for a comedy. My early years were abusive, but my alters’ ways of helping me survive as a mother, wife, and worker had hysterically funny moments. I have hundreds of stories.

Thank you for your compliments, wishes of good fortune, and blessings. I’ll be watching the show and continuing to comment when I think it’s helpful.

Karen

Comment by Lesbo and proud on 28 Mar 2010 at 6:23 pm

Karen,

Were any of your alters gay? Were you gay before therapy? Is that why you went? Did you become gay after integration? Do you like women more? I mean, do you even like the male species since so many have hurt you? I am a lesbian who would rather kill a man then lay with him. Men are scumbag perverts. All of them. I have ten alters, all female, all hate men. I was raped but worse manipulated by every man I ever met. How could you heal with a male therapist? It must have been torturous.

Lesbo and proud.

Dear Proud to be a Lesbian,

No, not one of my alters was gay. Therefore, I was never gay before, during, or after therapy ended. I am a woman interested in male relationships. My past abuse at the hands of my male abusers did not ruin my relationships with men. I admit, many men have hurt me through their abusive actions, but not all men are scumbag perverts. The only men to be called that are those who are child predators and men who abuse women for their own individual sick pleasures. Killing men just because they are men is not something that I’d ever consider. I have met and befriended many dear men who have treated me with respect and unconditional love. I treasure my male relationships.

I don’t judge anyone who chooses to enter into gay relationships. I care for all people and believe each person deserves to be respected for who they are. I do not condone abusive relationships in any form. Abusers disgust me.

I can empathize with your female alters having issues with men after being abused and wanting to protect you from the men who have abused you. If true, it’s sad that every man you have ever known has manipulated you. My heart aches for you. I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but in my opinion your anger hits too wide a mark. Men may have hurt you, but not all men will.

Please know that with help from a qualified therapist, you can change those dark thoughts and come to accept each man as an individual, instead of grouping all men together with the label of “scumbag perverts.” I once mistrusted all men myself. As a matter of fact, when I met Dr. Baer, I mistrusted him, too. But something happened and as time passed, I learned my anger wasn’t with all men, because my anger wasn’t with Dr. Baer. I learned my anger was really with my abusers. I learned to be able to accept, trust, and love men while in the safety of my therapy. I believe it was in my best interest to find a male therapist to accompany me. Please give yourself a chance. You could continue your relationships with women just they way you have been, but with the new freedom of shedding your anger towards men.

I wish you peace, understanding, happiness, and a sense of calm as you journey your own path to healing from past abuse.

Karen

Comment by Laurin on 28 Mar 2010 at 1:54 pm

Hello Karen,

I’ve just stumbled upon this website and read a few of the comments and questions that people are posting. I am in the midst of going through therapy in order to deal with DID and the abuse that has happened in my life. I haven’t read the book but there seems to be something about this site that triggers an angry feeling. When you talk about integration do you mean that you’ve destroyed your helpers? That’s what I call the alters. Or is it just that you have constant communication within you that allows you to be present for every situation you come across? I know there are different schools of thought on what constitutes ‘recovery’ of DID. What is your take on this?

Thank you.

Dear Laurin,

I am glad you wrote to me before reading my story during your own therapy. I can empathize with your angry feelings. It’s hard to read any material on multiplicity while in treatment yourself. That’s one reason I never read any MPD or DID books during my therapy years. I tried to but I always became overwhelmed with distress. You may not be aware of what triggered your anger because it may be unreachable, just under the surface. Perhaps your alters felt threatened because you pictured integration as your alters being destroyed? In my integration, nothing was lost, except the walls between the alters. No two cases are alike. It’s important to trust your instincts and let go of everyone else’s.

I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but in my opinion I believe you are trying to understand what’s in store for you, in the best way you can, before you begin to integrate your alters.  Integration is not the killing or destroying of your helpers, or forgetting all that they have done for you. Integration is a merging, a blending, of all your alters within you, to become one person, with the pain of the past shared by all the parts of you together, so you can begin to come to terms with it.

Think of your alters in this way. Each alter is one piece of a puzzle, one part of a whole, and unless all pieces are inter-connected, you can’t see the whole picture of your past, present, or future life. I mourned the idea of each alter’s unique separateness leaving me, but by merging them together, I knew they were being blended within me. After all these years there are times when I feel a bit more like one of them. The feelings are subtle, but I welcome them, and I never add a past alter’s name to those thoughts. I am now one woman with a variety of interests. I never lost my alters. I carry them with me everyday, just not as separate parts of me. My alters are me. I am my alters.

My thought on recovery is being able to live my life as one, with the awareness that I will no longer lose time to another part of me. I am available as myself at all times. My thoughts are my thoughts and I never lose time. I don’t miss the exhaustion from alter chaos. I am living a life I once thought impossible.

I am a recovered integrated multiple. I am a survivor. Thank you for sharing.

Karen

Comment by Lauren on 31 Mar 2010 at 11:24 pm

Karen,

I just finished Dr. Baer’s book and had to immediately get online to write to someone about it; I’m lucky enough to be writing to you!

By the last few chapters I was pouring down tears. It’s been a rare occasion that I have been affected by a book as much as I was by this one, and by your story. What an unbelievable, moving, powerful story that had such a fulfilling ending.

One of the most interesting things I found was that I had developed feelings for each alter and was saddened to see some of them integrate! They were each such unique and fascinating pieces, so I can only imagine what a wonderful person you must be.

I wish you all the best and truly hope you are doing well! This book and your story will stay with me forever!

Dear Lauren,

I am touched by your kind thoughts about my alters as they each integrated. I know that both Dr. Baer and I had a hard time and missed them after they integrated, too!

As I re-read my own story, I can feel the love each of my alters held for “me” and all that they contributed to my survival.  I was afraid I’d lose them through integration, but I didn’t. Though it saddened me to part with their individuality, I was grateful they each merged within me. My alters will always be a part of me just not in their previous separate form. My alters are me. I am my alters. We are one.

Being able to visualize my alters through written words was such an important part of my healing. I’m so glad I kept journals, wrote about my experiences, and Dr. Baer documented all our work.  Dr. Baer and I made a great team.

Thank you for all your wonderful heartfelt compliments!  That means the world to me.

Karen

Comment by Kellie on 27 Mar 2010 at 4:41 am

Hi Karen,

Just wanted to say that your book is one of my favourite reads. It is a true testament to the capabilities of the human brain to be able to organise itself in such a way as to protect itself.

I am so glad that you and Dr Baer have succeeded in integrating the alters and I am sure that there are still times when you miss them.

Best wishes for the future Karen.

Kellie, Newcastle, Australia

Dear Kellie,

Thank you! I admit at times I miss my alters, but not in the way they once were. Integration is the merging of all alters into one complete personality. For me, each alter was one part of a whole, and not until integration did I feel complete as one woman. I believe my alters are me. And I am them.

I often describe my alters as pieces of an interlocking puzzle; without all the pieces, I would not be complete. My alters continue to be a part of my everyday life just not in the separate form they once were.  Time and again I would feel some small difference and assume that it came from one particular alter, and then as quickly as that thought would appear it would disappear. For example, once in a while a feeling would come over me, such as a simple desire or taste, that is out of my norm. It’s then I would think a former alter must have owned that feeling. All that I’ve experienced continues to be a mystery to me.

Thank you for your well wishes.

Karen

Comment by G Wayne, N.J. on 31 Mar 2010 at 8:19 am

Dear Karen,

Just finished reading your book. I can’t believe I am sitting here writing you when my world outside the door is devastating. Our whole town is flooded, no electricity and my laptop will soon die but I might die to. Two days ago I wanted to suicide. Thought I’d wait a day. In the process I picked up your book thinking it would do the trick. Instead I read and fell asleep to wake to horns blaring and being told to evacuate. My family wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon so I lay there finishing reading your book. I could have been helping out in some way but my body and mind froze. I think you know that feeling. Anyway I’m still here in a safe place both physically and mentally. I changed my mind. Seeing floods and people crying and knowing the horror you survived all at the same time made my problems miniscule. Got to go. Do you remember writing you believed things happen for a reason? I think I found reason. As crazy as I sound I dont think I can end my life now because theres too much work to do to help. I am 16 and have three younger sisters who need me, they are 4, 7, and 14. Good book. Made me feel something I never did before.

G

Wayne, N.J.

Dear G,

I’m sorry to hear all that you and your family are going through at this time. I’ve never lived in an area that flooded. I can only imagine how devastating that can be. My prayers are with all those who are working hard to get their lives back on track. Good luck to you.

Thank you for sharing your personal story. I’m so glad you chose not to suicide and “wait” a day. I believe that was fate and meant to be. I can understand you feeling so badly that life appeared to be not worth living, but that’s not you thinking, it’s the dark thoughts that come when you feel depressed and are unable to comprehend the pain your are feeling. Talking to someone can help. Please seek a qualified therapist to help you start your journey to wellness.

I understand the feeling when your mind and body freezes and leaves you feeling paralyzed and unable to help. That’s a feeling of depression. I’ve been there and know that feeling well. It’s hard to fight it off and get moving, but I assure you with help you will come to understand why you become frozen. Once you acknowledge the “why” it becomes easier to move forward and heal.

I am glad you are here to help your sisters and family. And I am glad that my story changed something important within you.  Wishing you all my best for a safe journey.

Karen

Comment by Fred on 27 Mar 2010 at 4:23 pm

Hi Karen,

Thank you for making my life easier. You see, my girlfriend claimed to be a multiple like you and kept me trapped because I felt sorry for her. Lo and behold I read your book and started watching her closely. Guess what? She is not a multiple but a manipulator. Turns out she read your book a few years ago. Her story is your story to a T. She even named her alters after yours, the same as you just to keep them straight. I had dated her for two years right after your book came out. Want to know how stupid she is? She told me to read about her illness so I went to the bookstore and scanned the shelves, found yours and bought it! Can you believe my luck to pick your book out of the few others? Well, I am happy for you and have one question. How many people do you think fake being a multiple?

Thank you life saver. I broke up with her. Oh, I almost forgot when I broke up with her she said one of her alters Miles was going to kill me. So happy to be single again. I was willing to deal with the mpd stuff but can’t deal with a liar.

Love, Frederick

Dear Frederick,

Thank you for sharing! I have no idea why anyone would want to make up having multiplicity. The illness is not fun. I’m not sure why your friend would use the same alter names as mine and then tell you to read for more information. I have read a few stories on how some people need to draw negative attention to themselves. I believe this is an illness in itself. I hope your friend seeks professional help for what she has done. In the meantime, you might talk with someone about your experiences and feelings of betrayal. What your friend has done by falsifying an illness must have broken your heart.

I wish you a sense of calm knowing that you have gained the knowledge required to move forward, away from manipulation.  I haven’t met many people who are a multiple, but some I’ve met didn’t seem to be honest.  I found myself questioning myself and them. Not that I didn’t believe their multiplicity, how could I really know, but I simply found their stories hard to believe. My own story may be hard to believe, but I actually lived it. I am a sensitive person and often can tell a fake. Multiplicity is not something to take lightly.

Thank you,

Karen

Comment by Diana on 29 Mar 2010 at 4:27 pm

Hi Karen,

I am a depressed woman of 55 who totally felt better after reading the end of your book. Thank you for providing your story with such remarkable faith. Dr. Baer was a good doctor to treat you so many years. If I were a doctor like him I’m not so positive I could handle such a tough case. You are a great team!
 My question, as a woman who lost many years to healing how do you see yourself living? Do you see yourself young at heart or your true age, the alters ages or older? Has the wisdom you gained been in the form of an old soul? What do think God wants from you now?

Blessing to you and your Dr. Baer.

Diana
 C

Dear Diana,

I am glad to hear you felt better after reading my story, but please know that a book does not replace good therapy. I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but if you are hurting, please seek help.

My journey was met with many traumas. I could not have healed without guidance. I trust my instincts, but when I was at my lowest and dark thoughts permeated through my walls of resistance, I felt suicidal and temporarily lost faith and vision. I needed help from the outside. Depression takes a toll on one’s spirit. Despite periods of time spent feeling better, past issues can resurface time and again if not dealt with.

I feel young at heart, but with an old soul. Sure, I have traveled through a journey unlike any other, but I don’t feel that I lost myself. I believe my growth was simply on hold for about twenty years. After integration I was able to re-start my life by moving forward without fear of the past. Age is irrelevant to me. I never think of my age or the age my alters were before integration. My friendships come in all ages, too.

I believe God would like to see me use the wisdom I’ve gained from my suffering and journey to encourage hope through sharing my story. I believe I’ve survived for a reason. I believe God provided me with the most creative coping mechanism, multiplicity, for me to survive and share and help others. There is no doubt in my mind that I have work yet to do.

Thank you for your blessings. I wish you all my best.

Karen

Comment by Cassi on 29 Mar 2010 at 9:00 pm

Dear Karen,

Student here. Was almost? I attempted suicide and am in serious condition. I took a bunch of pills and they used charcoal in me to try to clean me out I guess. Your book was here in the hospital library section and I’m almost finished reading it now, epilogue to go but saving it until after dinner. Talk about provoking feelings>>>> You know what? It helped me to read it. I was given permission to email you from my therapist. I guess I ask too many questions. What I want to say to you is thank you for shedding light on abuse. I can see my life ahead of me. I made a mistake and was ending my life because my boyfriend dumped me. I am eighteen. Anyway when I get out of here I am starting therapy once a week. I think it may go pretty rough but if you can survive what all you did I know I will survive to.

Cassi

Dear Cassi,

Thank you for sharing your story and for saying my book encouraged you. That is important to me. I am pleased to know Switching Time was in the hospital library. I was hospitalized twice but I don’t recall an in house library. I wish books and computers were available during my stays. Please thank your therapist for allowing you to read the book and contact me.

I’m sorry to hear that your break-up caused you to feel so low, but I’m glad to hear that my story helped you realize life is precious and it can’t be ended over a boyfriend break-up. The way I see such dark times is as a new chance to begin again. Please know that at eighteen you have so much to live for.  Please continue your healing when you leave the hospital. That’s important.  I am not a therapist and can’t give advice, but in my opinion when a relationship breaks up it never means your life is worthless. Your self-esteem can’t be harnessed to whether a boy loves you; it must come from you loving yourself. Please take care of yourself first. I’m sure for you the best is yet to come.

Have faith and your healing will follow.

Karen