Comment by Marcella on January 20, 2009 2:25 pm

Hi Karen,Perfect answer to the question about Tara’s legs on the IMDb. It puzzled me. I picked up your book yesterday and started reading it late. What a tormented life you had, even your relationship with your therapist wasn’t all that great. I am half way through the book and felt concern for you. I never felt this way while reading a book knowing the end is clear that the patient is alive. Knowing the ending is a relief. Hearing your wise and thoughtful answers has me wondering if your therapist is still there for you. If not, shame on him! Can’t wait to finish the book. Need to put it aside for today, it’s I-Day.  Is it possible to add your answer about the legs here in your column?

You go girl!

Marcella

LA   

Dear Marcella,

Actually, Tara not feeling her legs to be her own could come from the “switching” of her alters. It’s an interesting part of being a multiple. When a switch occurs it takes a few minutes to recoup. When there is an alter change not only is there a change in personality, there is a change in posture, walking, mannerisms… simply as each of us is different, each alter is, too.

Maybe this will be discussed on a future episode of The United States of Tara.  It happens, and has happened to me, too.  One of my alters was paralyzed with leg pain from the weight of my abusers; there were many times when “Julie” came out and I couldn’t walk, felt paralyzed, and the pain was unbearable.  It took awhile after Julie’s switch before all the right feelings in my legs came back. Patience and faith that I would be normal again was a must during these times.

Regarding my relationship with Dr. Baer, he is no longer my therapist.  We do talk, however, and visit together.  I do miss our previous therapeutic relationship, because sometimes I feel I still need it.  But I’m trying to move on as best I can.

Thank you for all your compliments.

Karen

Comment by V on January 20, 2009 1:13 am

Hey K,

Great answers on TUSoT board! I ordered your book after reading your comments. I’m impressed! What an honor for a real person who actually suffered from, as you say, multiplicity to share your personal thoughts on a show. A comedy show, no less? Your added information has been of great help.

Don’t get upset with the naysayers, they’re ignorant. A show like this was needed. My beef with it is it should be yours. Richard Baer is an amazing therapist to have dealt with you. I doubt I could treat you? If you walked through my door, seriously, I would’ve sent you off to someone else. Yes, I am a counselor, never had a patient like you, and hope not to. At least not until I have more knowledge. I am privileged to learn from Switching Time. I am in the process of adding a few classes to my list in hope to better understand all psychological illness’. Switching Time, TUSoT has sparked interest and I’m going for it.

Great Job! Richard Baer and Karen Overhill, what an accomplishment!

V

Dear V,

Thank you so much for all of your compliments!  Dr. Baer and I truly appreciate hearing your thoughts on Switching Time and my comments. I am not offended by those who criticize or disbelieve in the illness MPD/DID; it’s just their own personal opinions.  I refuse to get angry over ignorance.  I know first hand the truth about surviving multiplicity.  Sure, it would’ve been nice if my story was chosen for this show, however, my story is real, non-fiction, and The United States of Tara is fiction.

I agree, Richard Baer was an amazing therapist, however, he also had a tough time treating me. I am lucky to have found him. As a therapist yourself, it’s important for me to share that when treating someone like me, there’s never a dull moment, but although it’s exhausting and time consuming, it can possibly be one of the most rewarding experiences of your career.  MPD is rare, and not many therapists come across a patient who had suffered so horrifically that she needed to create alters to survive.  Good therapists are always needed.

Please have patience in your continued studies.  In reading Switching Time you have already gained more knowledge than Richard Baer had before I walked into his office. That is one reason we decided to share our journey.  Sure, it was difficult for both of us, but I am very grateful Dr. Baer didn’t chase me out of his office or hand me off to someone else.

I wish you all the best!

Karen

Comment by Daley on January 18, 2009 7:02 pm

Oh Man! I read Sybil and Switching Time! Sybil was difficult to read. Switching Time is the new Sybil and has much more factual information for the reader to understand the illness. It’s a shame your doctor and agents didn’t make sure the book Marshall was reading in the first episode of United States if Tara was your book not Sybil. What’s wrong with your publicity team?

Daley.

Whittier, CA

Dear Daley,

Thank you for your compliments!  I understand what you meant by Sybil being too difficult to read!  I, too, had a hard time getting through it.  I’m glad Switching Time brought you a better understanding of the illness. That is what we’ve hoped for.

Sure, it would’ve been nice if Marshall was reading Switching Time during the first episode of The United States of Tara.  The producers know about our book, but since Switching Time is newer, not as many would recognize it as they would Sybil.

It would’ve been nice if the show portrayed our book. I personally would get a kick out of being a part of this show.

Thank you for your supportive comments!

Karen

Comment by Connor on January 15, 2009 8:34 pm

Did any of your alters ever cause you to be arrested?  I am a person with seven alters and one of them has recently become a serious problem. I don’t know what to do. We are all in therapy and Beau, an alter of mine, keeps starting fights everytime he’s out. My psychologist bailed me out of jail twice. It’s so emnbarassing and hard for me to accept. I’d do anything to stop this alter, including die. What would your therapist do? Did this ever happen to you with your alters Miles, Karl or other?

Connor, host of seven

Dear Connor,

I’m sorry to hear that one of your alters is causing you serious problems at this time. None of my alters ever caused me to be arrested, but there were many times I felt as if I would. I was always afraid I’d done something wrong, even though I hadn’t. It’s sad that one of your alters, Beau, feels so threatened that he causes an outburst that leads to you being arrested.  I am not a therapist, but in my opinion, your alter, Beau, must be suffering, needs attention, feels threatened or hurt, and needs to talk.  I believe that your therapist may be able to help by talking to Beau about his anger, instead of waiting to bail you out of jail after he acts out.

I can empathize with you wanting to stop Beau from causing more grief, but dying is not the answer.  I admit, there were many times when my ex-alters threatened to take action.  I was lucky Dr. Baer knew how to diffuse them.  Whenever I sensed stress building, I knew I needed to call my therapist.  Sometimes Dr. Baer would put me under hypnosis and talk to my distressed and angry alter, and that seemed to work. I believe once the trauma or aggravation felt by the alter is discussed, the acting out doesn’t come into play. During therapy Dr. Baer always told me, “Thoughts are okay, acting out is not.”  My alters were born to protect me, not bring me harm.

Thank you for your questions.  I wish you well as you continue your journey towards healing.

Karen

Comment by Lucy on January 15, 2009 10:11 pm

Hi Karen,

I hate that you are not offended by the show United States of Tara. I bet you will if they write a book on the show without recognizing Switching Time. How would you feel if a book came out on the show, sold a million copies and wasn’t real. Would you hate the show then?

Lucy

Dear Lucy,

Why should I be offended by a show that is not real? We need to remember it’s just a TV show and doesn’t represent the reality of MPD, like Hogan’s Heroes didn’t represent the reality of prisoner of war camps.  I love the actress, Toni Collete, and she is doing a great job trying to portray a woman and mother who is a multiple.  However, she is acting, and a character in a show. Real MPD alters are not so dramatic and flamboyant.  There job is to protect, not to attract attention.  If a book is written on “The United States of Tara”, it will be a fictional book on this show.  My story, Switching Time, is non-fiction, and a true story of one woman’s life, therapy, and integration as a multiple.

I do think we need to bring more awareness to MPD/DID, and not mock this illness.  Having multiplicity was not fun and it continues to be my hope that everyone will learn the facts, not the TV fantasy.

Karen

Comment by Erin on January 13, 2009 3:20 am

Hi Karen,

I read on another site that usually a highly suggestible person goes to a therapist and, following some therapy suggestions, is unconsciously persuaded of idea that they have multiple personalities. What do you think of the statement? I read Switching Time and believed the illness to exist. Great attempt on your doctor in trying to prove it. Is it possible for you to write something that changes the minds of idiots?

Erin

Dear Erin,

Sadly, there are many people, including some therapists, who choose to make comments about multiple personality not founded on facts.  It may be true that there are some patients so suggestible, and some therapists so eager to see multiple personality, that together they manufacture it.  I’ve read about some cases of MPD and I’ve wondered if they really had it.

For me, I developed multiplicity from repeated sexual, physical, and emotional abuse that started before age three and lasted through adolescence. My abuse was persistent, horrific, and my abusers were relentless. I was abused at least twice a week, sometimes more.  I believe my mind created alternate personalities to protect me from that immediate trauma and to compartmentalize the pain.  By ‘switching’ I was able to then appear like everyone else, but losing time and keeping such secrets as a child caused many consequences that ultimately caused devastation for me as an adult.  I believe switching into other selves was a God sent coping mechanism. If it weren’t for my alters’ help, I wouldn’t be alive today.

I can’t get angry with people who disbelieve out of ignorance.  Multiplicity is an illness created as a coping mechanism to protect the mind from the horror that comes from being abused as a child.  Multiple Personality Disorder is a real illness, and though incomprehensible for most people, it devastates those who truly suffer. That is why it’s so important to bring awareness of this illness. 

Karen

Comment by Matt on January 12, 2009 10:45 pm

Hi Karen,

I am a med student and tried to find more information on: Dr. Richard Baer, psychiatrist, Chicago? I checked on-line and what popped up was many books, sites and movie shows written by him. Do you know this of him? It’s creepy that he claims to be a writer of comic books? Will the real Dr. Richard Baer come forward to claim his accomplishment of writing your story? I admire his work with you but have to say was disappointed when I saw a picture of him looking too young and foreign to be a claimed pyschiatrist /writer. I can’t see a comic book writer writing your story. His web page is child-like, teenager at best. How can this be? There must be a mistake. Was Switching Time written by the same Richard Baer that directed television shows like Who’s the Boss? How old is the real doctor who treated you? It would be wise for him to clear the internet confusion. A respected doctor like him should not be insulted by an imposter. His book was educational.

Matt

Dear Matt,

There are hundreds of Richard Baers listed under that name, but only one Richard K. Baer M.D. author of Switching Time, my story, and Medical Director for Medicare.  I checked the internet to see what you found and you are right, there are hundreds of listings that could confuse anyone if you didn’t know the exact full name and other facts before searching. I was amazed at the coincidences with Dr. Baer’s name, but only one of them is the psychiatrist who treated me. Dr. Baer is not a comic book writer nor is he the writer/director to the series “Who’s the Boss” or any movies.  Dr. Richard Baer is a respected psychiatrist, an accomplished author, and a very caring man.

I’m sorry it was difficult to find the information you were searching for. We are in the process of updating our Web site and you will soon be able to access most information there.

Thank you for your comments, and for your compliment on Switching Time being educational.

Karen

Comment by Jerome and Leonna on January 10, 2009 11:34 pm

Dear Karen,

Best wishes! We read Switching Time and it’s better, by 100% than Sybil. I read Sybil two years ago, my wife read it six years ago and it horrified us but never answered our many questions. Switching Time not only horrified us but answered our questions and is superior in sharing qualified information. We learned 100% more from your story and in addition to Sybil, think we figured everything out. We have family members we know suffered as you did. This is why our peeked interest in your book. We understand more thanks to Switching Time.

Questions from us: Do you ever think of revisiting the neighborhood you once lived in? Would you allow the area to be filmed if asked? Would you go back and walk through the park? How about knock on the door and see who lives in your old house now?  Thank you!

Jerome and Leonna

Dear Jerome and Leonna,

Thank you for all your compliments!  I’m glad both of you came to a better understanding of this illness after reading Switching Time.  Dr. Baer and I have hoped to bring a better understanding to all.

Visit my old neighborhood?  Dr. Baer and I made this trip together, as described in the epilogue.  I haven’t gone back in a few years.  I have no need to; the memories are implanted in my mind.  I’m not sure of having the area filmed; it’s not my intention to bring drama and horror to the many innocent people who live in the area.  I’ve already received closure, and have let my past go.  Therefore, I’ve no need to go back.

Thank you for sharing your concerns and for wanting to help your family members who have suffered.  It’s people like you who take the extra steps to find information to help someone that leave me feeling grateful to have shared my journey.

Karen

Comment by Austin on January 10, 2009 11:24 pm

Hey Karen,

What’s wrong with you? How could you find humor in the show about tara coming to showtime next week? If you are truly cured you should be irate with this show. It should insult you. You have been judged incorrectly because this show damages all you tried to accomplish. This show sucks. It hurts people like us who suffer. I am an alter of Kevin and being gay might have caused me to be too sensitive. I like you and feel hurt for you. Why aren’t you angry?

Austin

Dear Austin,

I am not downplaying the severity of MPD/DID.  My childhood abuse was horrific and has traumatized me for so many years.   But I’ve come to acknowledge and accept all that happened to me.  If I hadn’t accepted my pain, I wouldn’t have survived.  Comedy is relief.

“The United States of Tara” is unlike what I’ve experienced.  It’s just a television show and meant to entertain.  I’ve only viewed the first episode and don’t want to comment too much until I view more episodes. The first episode was entertaining and interesting to me to see how an incomprehensible illness can be turned into a comedy.

But I really don’t see this show as just a comedy.  I also see this show as a drama.  Tara’s alters may be overly exaggerated, but in a way, how else could the audience pick up on the different alters if they were portrayed as they would really be?  My alters’ switching was subtle and those who knew me would only notice a slight change in my mood when I’d switch. My experiences were much different than “Tara’s.”

The United States of Tara is not my story.  It does not offend me.  And it certainly doesn’t damage all that I’ve accomplished.  I’m interested to watch each episode.  I admit, I needed some time to think over all that I felt after the first episode.  I was a bit shaken, but then again, I never even let myself watch the entire movie Sybil.

Please don’t feel hurt for me.  I’m okay with this show being aired.  Would anyone rather see the true horror that creates an alter?  I think not.  I can laugh at many of the things my alters did in order to protect me.  I believe we all laugh at ourselves at times.

I believe having survived this illness myself, it’s important to see this show as another way to bring awareness to an illness. What’s most important is that people will pick up a book, hopefully Switching Time, and read what multiplicity really is and form their own opinions.

Karen

Comment by Markus T. on January 7, 2009 1:18 am

Hi Karen,

Did you ever have fun at any time in your life, during the years of your being abused and kept captive, during high school, college; how about as an adult? Where did you draw the line? What have you done for fun? Has the seriousness during therapy ruined all fun for you? I refuse to go to a therapist for this reason. In the book your therapist talks of you sucking the life out of him. In your answers you constantly defend this. It’s bullshit. Right? Therapists ruin life, not improve it. To properly heal you must learn about life through happiness. Could it be that you healed yourself? Could it be therapy sucked the life out of you? This appears correct. Right?

Markus T

Dear Markus,

Of course I’m capable of having fun and I do.  During my high school years, in college, and as an adult, an alter usually stole all the fun times and experienced them for me.  Unfortunately, I had to dissociate in order to allow myself to be a part of anything that was fun.  After the integration of my seventeen alters, I acquired all of their memories of the fun they once experienced.  I received these memories as my own, yet haven’t really felt them as my own as my alters once did.

It really is difficult to have fun after being an abused child and to allow myself to feel free enough to experience fun on my own.  In a sad way, most joy has been stolen from me.  And although it’s hard to have fun, I now often do and have faith that I will continue to do so.  My abuse belongs in the past, and I must be careful not to allow my past abuse to destroy my future.  I need to let go of my past pain in order to enjoy life.  Living without fear makes me happy.

Therapy is serious.  It’s hard work.  And, yes, it was draining for both Dr. Baer and me.  But we survived. Imagine that!  Maybe my therapy compares to a military boot camp, where one is torn down and rebuilt again in order to become a much stronger version of oneself.

The therapeutic relationship is meant to help patients heal themselves, not for the therapist to provide happiness for his patients. It’s never been Dr. Baer’s job to make me happy. His job was to guide me to finding my own strengths, learn from my weaknesses, and find my own happiness.  I continue to struggle to find happiness in all that I do.  I have survived the past.  I am alive and trying my best to move forward with hope for a better future.

Karen