Comment by Boulefkhad on 22 Aug 2011 at 5:34 pm

hello dear karen i think that is a very good blog thank you and good luck for you.

Dear Boulefkhad,

Thank you very much for sharing your kind thoughts! I truly appreciate your compliment and to know you read my blog!

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Carol on 12 Aug 2011 at 12:13 pm

Hi Karen,

I am reading the book Switching Time, and have been awestruck at the number of similarities we share. Everything from being overweight without understanding how I got that way to losing time; and so much more. I had to put the book away (temporarily) because I can’t seem to be able to read about integration. I’ll read it eventually.

I know you’ve probably heard lots of people’s stories, and I won’t waste your time with mine. Just as there are many similarities between us, there are differences too. I didn’t experience the awful trauma that you endured. I have always had more communication with the various aspects of myself. I thought they were my conscience.

Dear Carol,

Thank you for sharing! I’m glad you put the book aside for now. I admire that you are able to set limits for yourself as to how much you can handle and take in. I empathize with your concern about integration. I don’t regret my integration. I didn’t lose my alters during integration because they will always be a part of me. My alters merged within me and we are now all one. The only difference is there is no one alter acting out their individual lives. I never felt I lost anyone. I feel whole and maintain the variety of talents and capabilities I received from them.

I’m blessed. It’s amazing to be one woman. On occasion I’ll think I miss my alters, but that thought quickly disappears when I recall the chaos I lived with. Integration gives me a wonderful feeling of freedom. I’m happy and live my life without fear of losing time. To feel a sense of calm and live as one is the greatest gift I ever received.

I would love to know your story! Please share if you want to, here or through my Facebook private message. Everyone has a story and yours is important, too! Sharing will help your healing.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Karen

Comment by Bethany on 07 Aug 2011 at 8:40 am

I had the privilege of meeting you and you glow with the holy spirit. It is awesome to see one of God’s creations beat all odds and become a compassionate person. I felt angels in around you. I believe you are a warrior of God; nothing will ever change my opinion of you. I hold you in my heart and pray for you because you have given me a taste of faith I didn’t know I had. A taste of what survival can be for me if I take care of myself and have faith. Once met, but forever a memory. Thank you for being you. I believe.

Bethany

Dear Bethany,

I don’t know what to say but thank you so much for having faith in me. I’m blessed and truly believe that it takes faith, God, and many wonderful people supporting and helping each other, sharing and caring for each other, as we learn from each other. I’m grateful to all who have come into my life teaching me lessons and strengthening my spirit so that I could move forward. Thank you. God bless you

Karen

Comment by Denise on 05 Aug 2011 at 9:06 pm

I just finished listening to your story on tape. It was the hardest story I ever listened to but I couldn’t stop. I am blessed to work on a psych unit with patients who have overcome great odds in their healing journey. Like Dr. Baer I am always amazed at the power of the mind. The only problem with the tape is it would have been easier to listen to if Lloyd James, the narrator talked in the same voice instead of lowering his voice and trying to make you sound like a weak, pitiful man/woman. You have great strength but his voice made you sound whiney which I know for a fact you are not. You are the strongest, bravest woman I know. Good Luck to you.

Denise

Dear Denise,

Thank you for sharing!  I agree somewhat.  Lloyd has an amazing voice and in my opinion, that voice should have been used throughout the entire recording.

I truly appreciate your compliment regarding my strength not coming through and my sounding whiney. I am touched that you believe me to be the strongest, bravest woman you know! Thank you so much!

I’m glad you shared about your work on a psych unit.  ! It’s nice to hear someone who has compassion like you do while helping those on your unit overcome great odds! I know your job must be difficult at times but helping people on their healing journey is forever rewarding and appreciated.

Good luck in all you do…Bless you!

Karen

Comment by Len on 05 Aug 2011 at 5:13 pm

Hi Karen,

I am pissed about some a-hole negative review on your book. It was one of those comments that I can’t let go. How do you deflect pain of negative people? Have there been times where you sunk low into a depression because of being insulted over sharing your story. I have read your book and feel honored to be able to read such inspiration of healing. What a wonderful spirit and miracle of God you are. Thank you for bringing me understanding. Thank you and Richard Baer for sharing a hard to write story in which I think you both did an amazing job.

Len, Utah

Dear Len,

Though we haven’t received many negative reviews, I do enjoy reading the points of view of others. Whether good or bad, it doesn’t matter. I have survived a lot and am happy to be alive. In my opinion, those who write in anger may be hurting themselves.  Maybe the person needs help and can’t accept it? I’m not affected by negative people; I don’t want to give them that power over me. My story is my story. There will always be someone who will try to trigger me into having a bad thought, but I know the truth. In my opinion, it’s best not to allow anger to control one’s thoughts.

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful compliments! I truly appreciate your concern. It’s taken me many years to get here and I won’t allow a bad review to set me back.

Wishing you all my best,

Karen

Comment by Toby on 04 Aug 2011 at 4:09 pm

I didn’t know you had a blog. I have been reading your answers and found a lot of peace because of what happened to me. Shame was causing me to fear telling my therapist things. Being a male and all I never knew it didn’t matter. Anyway thanks for writing a story that helps.

Dear Toby,

You’re welcome! Thank you for sharing!  I am glad you found my blog helpful.  Please know that I empathize with your fear of sharing with your therapist.  I felt ashamed once, too!

Thank you for your compliments, especially for believing that our story helps.

Karen

Comment by Lola on 01 Aug 2011 at 6:49 am

Hi Karen,

I recently began my journey in therapy and feel very uncomfortable in sharing. I read you also had a hard time. Can you tell me what to say or to expect and how can talking about my pain help my future?

Thank you, you are the strongest most sincere person I ever read about.

Lola

Dear Lola,

Thank you for sharing. I do understand you feeling uncomfortable sharing. I felt uncomfortable, too! Most of my early sessions I spent in fear of sharing. What did I fear? That Dr. Baer would stop treating me or think I was disgusting. I was sickened by what had happened to me. I felt ashamed and afraid to share my truth. But in order to move forward,  I knew I had to start somewhere. I admit, it took some time, but together with my therapist, we established rapport and I began to trust him. Once I started, I couldn’t stop talking. Finally, I felt I could share without judgment. I felt secure and able to share everything in the safety of therapy. Please know that it’s best to share with your therapist so that together you can build your therapy relationship.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself. It takes time to heal and begin sharing what you had so successfully kept hidden within yourself. But from my experience I know my sharing felt like releasing a ton of bricks.  It was a freedom that I never thought possible. Keeping dark thoughts and secrets made me ill. As I shared, I started feeling better. It was an amazing feeling once I started to release my past and let go of the junk that kept me imprisoned within myself.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your journey to wellness.

Karen

Karen was there at any point any medication that helped calm down alter activity…I am struggling with that and looking for answers…. Thank you

Bonnie/Bongo

Dear Bonnie and Bongo,

Quite frankly, no, at least not for me. There were times I took Xanax, but I don’t believe the medication worked for me. It may have calmed me down for an immediate trauma, but I hated taking medication. Dr. Baer prescribed medication at times but because of alter chaos the medication usually sat untouched in my medicine cabinet. My alters did not like being sedated with medication. Certain medications would affect certain alters differently and cause more trouble than it helped.

In my opinion, I believe multiples are better off with talk therapy to calm them down. Medication was not for me.  Please know that I am not a therapist and can’t give advice. Check with your therapist about what is best for you.

Thank you for your question. Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Lizzie on 22 Jul 2011 at 10:08 pm

I’m not sure how this blog thing works. I guess I submit and then look for an answer? I’m a multiple and I’m dealing with taking down walls that have kept a very young, very angry, very terrified part prisoner for most of my life. She has broken through and acted out over the years but I am just now becoming aware of her. I am absolutely terrified of connecting, knowing that the connection will give me all of her memories and all of her pain and terror. How do you deal with that? How do you know that making that connection won’t consume you and leave you worse off than when she was kept hidden? Can you give me any advice? Reading your book helped me some, just knowing that I’m not the only one. I was also amazed by some of the synchronisities between your abuse and my own. Even if you can’t answer my question, I’m really glad I read my book and I’m really happy for you that everything came out right in the end. You’re an amazingly strong woman…. Thank you in advance for any help you can offer.

Lizzie

Dear Lizzie,

I empathize with you. You really don’t know how you will feel until you start the process. But I assure you, once you are exposed to your past trauma, your healing begins. I was terrified, too, but through patience, understanding, and many talks with my therapist, I let go of my fear. I found that as each alter memory came, there was a brief feeling of overwhelming grief, but that quickly passed once I acknowledged and dealt with it. The pain didn’t last over long.

In my opinion, every attempt to merge your alters or encourage them to mature by an act such as tearing down the walls that keeps them imprisoned is a step closer to growth and wholeness. It takes time to heal and healing requires making decisions to help your alters gain strength and courage, knowing that they will feel better once they understand where their pain originated. The ultimate goal is to integrate all to become one. For me, acknowledging my past pain through my alters’ experiences and memories helped me to move forward and not allow the same trauma to return to my present or my future.

Thank you for your kind compliments! I truly appreciate hearing that my story helped in some way. Wishing you all my best on your journey to wholeness.

Karen

Comment by Nabilah on 21 Jul 2011 at 6:04 am

Hi Karen,

I am currently writing my life story based on mental health problems and traumatic events. I came across reading “A Life in Pieces” and was so shocked to know that you suffered so much traumatic abuse at such a young age. I admire your strength and courage. What you had experienced through your childhood was terrible. My heart goes out to you. I really feel for you and only hope you find happiness in your future. I just recently had a religious breakdown due to so much stress in my life and it has made me understand that faith is so important and with faith you can do anything in life. I wish you all the best for your future.

N xxx

Dear Nabilah,

Good luck on writing your life story!  That’s great news!  My past may have been horrific, and life will always be a challenge, but I’m making the most of it! I’m happy and living life as I never dreamed possible. I’m always trying to move forward and making new friends!

Wishing you all my best! Keep on writing!

Karen