Comment by Alexandria on 27 Aug 2009 at 12:02 am

Karen,

After reading Switching Time twice, the idea of working in the psychology field is so great, and I’m looking forward to college. I can thank you and Dr. Baer for that, because you both are amazing people. I can only imagine how much it took to successfully integrate everyone. You’re such an inspiration to a teenager who has suffered from depression. I wish you and Dr. Baer the best of luck in life.

Alex

Dear Alexandria,

Thank you from me and Dr. Baer!  We truly appreciate hearing that you are looking forward to a college career working in the field of psychology and that Switching Time inspired you. Though working to heal me was an enormous job for Dr. Baer, I believe he was given a once in a lifetime chance to make a difference to one person.  Saving someone like me was a definite challenge, but I believe he’d say we both learned a lot from treating me.

I’m surely grateful for all that Dr. Baer’s done for me.  I can now live and breathe in a way that I never thought possible.  In order to successfully integrate each of my alters, we had to build from the ground up.  I felt torn down before gaining strength.  One at a time, each of my alters developed a relationship with Dr. Baer.  Building trust was most important before revealing ones past.  Dr. Baer and I worked well together because we both were loyal and respected each other.  Most interesting is that integration only came after my alters learned to trust Dr. Baer, too!

I was very fortunate to land in the hands of Dr. Baer.  Finding the right therapist is very important.  I’m glad to hear that more students are going into the field of psychology with determination to help people like me to live.

Thank you for all you kind thoughts and best wishes.

Karen

Comment by Stella on 27 Aug 2009 at 6:40 pm

Hi Karen!

I was just reading your response to Joyce, your wise advice to not be too trusting with whom you share what you have been through. Boy does this ring true!

As a person who is really just in the beginning stages of therapy for trauma related disorders, I have been both blessed and injured by sharing with people whom I really trusted some of what I am dealing with. Some of them had been life long friends and with whom I wanted so much to find acceptance and support. This doesn’t always happen. But I am glad that I have learned this lesson early on.

I’m fairly convinced at this stage that those who will be the most supportive in my life are going to be on a similar path, maybe not with the exact same past or traumas, but on a similar path toward inner healing. This seems to be a bonding agent, this pain we share; not necessarily to wallow in it, but to empathize and understand both the triumphs experienced and the disappointments of those occasional setbacks or just plain bad days. We all need encouragement, it gives us strength to keep going, this is so important when you are dealing with extremely painful memories.

I so much appreciate your honesty about your struggles, both past and present. I look forward to keeping up with what you have to share here with those who are drawn to you.

Blessings!

Stella

Dear Stella,

Thank you!  Your kindness and acceptance of me and my work inspires me to continue on.  It’s so vital for all of us to receive encouragement.  I’ m just like anyone who has been hurt from past abuse.  It’s not my desire to mask my feelings but to share a hope for a better tomorrow.  Unfortunately, there are always people who break trust, disrespect, or think of us in a bad way.  I believe these people have no understanding about the true depth of pain an abused person suffers.

My goal is to share the good and the bad of being a multiple, the journey through healing, and the after integration ups and downs that come from being one woman trying to deal with everyday reality.

I know very well that those of us who have shared similar stories can bond in a way that most find hard to understand.  It’s all in the nature of who we are and how we survived despite all that happened to us.  Surviving a complex, incomprehensible illness such as multiple personality disorder needs to be understood by all.  That is my goal.  To share a better understanding of the suffering that causes a multiple’s mind to fragment and create alternate personalities.

Thank you for understanding, supporting my efforts, and for all your kind thoughts.

Karen

Comment by Melissa on 27 Aug 2009 at 6:37 pm

Dear Karen,

I just finished the book that Richard Baer wrote. I am so glad that you went to him and this was the result. A veil has been lifted because now I have hope!  I am sure you get this a lot. I suddenly feel like a steam engine able to run full speed ahead.  It is a feeling of life I have always admired in others and now may get to truly experience. Thank you and your alters for keeping you alive, for giving people hope, and being there-just there.

Dear Melissa,

Thank you for all your kind thoughts!

I understand what you mean by feeling like a steam engine able to run full speed ahead; I’ve had that happen to me, too!  It’s a good feeling to finally receive hope that someday all will be okay…

Wishing you all my best!

Karen

Comment by Jeanette on 26 Aug 2009 at 6:24 am

Karen, I was just catching up on your blog and reading your response to the elderly woman who was so touched by your story. Oh, I do hope you can get past whatever negative feelings that come to you about what you have shared! More harm than good? Not possible!!! The truth is always for the good!

Are there people out there who will take advantage or maybe even mock or scorn? Yes, sadly there are people who are blind and cold. Are there people who may be a little imbalanced and latch onto self diagnosis out of obsession? Yes, but that doesn’t mean that you should hide the truth and risk not helping so many others! If you help one soul out there who desperately needs it, then it is ALL worth it. Because one soul is priceless. I think that’s the greatest lesson we can take away from our abuse, that EVERY soul is worth rescuing.

So, here’s a big hug to you Karen, don’t ever despair that you have somehow done wrong. NEVER. “You will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free”. And that Truth encompasses All Truth. Hold onto that.

Am I preaching???? LOL I do that sometimes! Hope it doesn’t pluck your nerves! Now, if I can only take my own advice! My motto: baby steps.

God Bless You! And Rock On Girl!

Jeanette (and Stella and Gina…and whoever else I have yet to discover, all parts that will someday come together. I will have faith.)

Dear Jeanette,

Oh, Jeanette, thank you so much for understanding exactly what I’ve thought all along.  I’ve always wanted nothing more than to help others.  I believe my story was meant to be shared.  I believe God has a plan for me.

You are right; the truth does set me free.  I believe every soul is worth rescuing.  I will continue to help in any way that I can, even during my few dark moments.  I’m sorry that you picked up on some of my sadness in my answer.  It’s true that a few have taken advantage of me.  I am amazed that your response has touched me so deeply.  I truly appreciate all that you have shared. I really needed to hear these words… thank you.

I will take your advice and hold on to it. Thank you for tapping into my thoughts and reminding me of who I am.

God Bless you, too!

Karen

Comment by F on 25 Aug 2009 at 10:03 pm

i got out of prison last week. i was in for steal a car. your book was in pile of shit books the cart brings eah day. i told the guard how stupid a ink blot cover was. next morning book was in my cell. guard said read it. I say fu. I read the dam book anyways. i thinks you deserve what happen to you. you the loser. if i were yur dad i would do the same. it’s called displine.

F

Dear F,

Interesting that you read my book despite your rude comment regarding the inkblot cover design?  I’m not sure why the guard felt you should read my story or why he slipped Switching Time into your cell unless, of course, there is more to your story of why you were imprisoned.  Could it be that you were imprisoned for more than just stealing a car?  Maybe for child or domestic abuse?  My story must’ve hit a nerve in you.  Guilt, I assume

I wonder why you went to the trouble to find our Web site to post your ignorant thoughts.  I’m sure something touched the hardness of your heart and you are afraid of admitting it. Or maybe you are a victim of abuse yourself?  People like you need help, and also need to be removed from the streets.  Shame on you for writing in and saying that I deserved all that happened to me.  Only a pathetic loser would say that.

I’m glad you posted your comment.  The world needs to know people like you exist.  To say that any child deserves to be abused is a cause for great concern. If you believe child abuse is deserved and a form of discipline, I pray that no child crosses your path. I also pray that you do not have any children of your own and that you return to jail soon.

Karen

Comment by Lee on 24 Aug 2009 at 6:51 pm

Hi Karen, Lee here. I bought Switching Time for class. Do you know how you write there is a reason fo everything and sharing your story was meant to be? My story is a perfect example of that! I read it and wanted to say you and Richard Baer make a great team. I’ve been in therapy for a few years since the death of my best friend who suffered from multiple personality disorder. I never fully understood her but was there for her all the time. I couldn’t get pass why she didn’t call me before hanging herself. I talked to her just two hours before she did it.. I felt numb for two years. I couldn’t even date anyone.

Switching Time helped me. Before her suicide she told me she couldn’t stand living without knowing what she had done during her periods of missing time. She said that she was frustrated and her therapist wouldn’t take her seriously. Her suicide note stated that she was so sad and didn’t want the people around her to suffer to. Strange that all who loved her suffer more now that she’s missing from our life. How could she do that to us?

I can’t bring her back. But what I wanted to let you know is that your story brought me peace. I can put the past aside. I blamed myself. Now I understand what she went through. I know her death was not my fault. I can now look back at all she shared. Unbelievable crap. Sometimes I would listen but with disbelief. I wouldn’t laugh at her but believed she made it up. I didn’t know much about her illness. I write because I feel bad that I didn’t understand. I could’ve been more of a friend if I knew more. If I read Switching Time three years ago. Switching Time is an asset. I took your book to my therapist, he read it, loved it, and will share with other doctors.

Thank you for bringing me refief. God Bless you.

Lee

Dear Lee,

Yes, I believe there is a reason for everything and that sharing my story was meant to be.  As I read your note, I felt privileged you chose to share with me.  I’m sorry that you lost a good friend to suicide.  I am also saddened to hear that she suffered from multiplicity.  I can imagine what she may have felt that led her to suicide.  Living as a multiple is very difficult, especially when confronted with people who dismiss, laugh, or disbelieve that it is a real illness.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself.  The main reason Dr. Baer and I shared our journey in healing me was because we knew so many in the world misconstrued what the illness of multiple personality disorder really was.  Our goal is to bring awareness in hope for a better understanding for all.  I believe movies and television shows have caused many to laugh, mock, and judge the illness.  We hope all who read Switching Time have a better understanding of the severity of the illness and learn.  Knowledge is the key.  Bringing awareness is a necessary part of healing.

I can also understand your friend’s suicide note saying that she didn’t wish to hurt anyone around her.  I believe she was hurting deeply and could not see past her own pain and couldn’t understand how her death would affect all those whom she loved.  I’m sure if she were able to comprehend her actions beforehand, she wouldn’t have taken them.  Realizing the effects of one’s actions is something that prevented me from taking action on my own dark thoughts of suicide.

I’m sorry that you suffered so much because your friend’s suicide.  It was not your fault.  There was nothing you could’ve done to prevent her from taking her own life.  Like you said, she spoke with you two hours prior and you hadn’t picked up on her distress.  She didn’t want you to.  Please don’t blame your self.  She ended her own life. You didn’t end it for her. When someone is in that horrible state of mind, there’s little anyone can do to change it.

Multiples are sometimes annoying, often miserable, depressed, and unpredictable. They wear a mask so others can’t see how they are truly feeling. All we can do as friends is to be the best friend we can be without trying to live anyone’s life for them.

I am glad to hear that my story has brought you peace. That’s very important to me. Please know that dealing with the ups and downs of a friend who suffers from the illness of multiplicity is very hard.

Now that you have read Switching Time you will be a better friend to everyone you meet in the future.  In befriending a multiple, you have gained much wisdom, compassion, and tolerance. I wish you all my best for a future filled with happiness.

Thank you for sharing my story with your therapist.

Karen

Comment by Jo on 22 Aug 2009 at 11:52 pm

“Dear Karen. I just finished listening to Switching Time on CD.  As I mentioned before, there were times that I didn’t think I could continue listening, as my heart ached for you for the torture you endured. But, I am so glad that I did finish it! I must admit, I cried when it was over. The tears were a mix of sadness and happiness. I was sad to say goodbye to the alters because I truly cared for them but was so very happy for you when you became your own person! As I suspected, your name was changed to protect your privacy (I don’t blame you). God bless Dr. Baer for for all that he did for you! I was just explaining to my husband (of 33 years) how Switching Time moved me and touched my heart and emotions in the same way that The Diary of Anne Frank did when I read it at the age of 12. Thank you for allowing me into your life. God bless you Karen.”

Dear Jo.

I understand how you felt listening to my story on CD.  I know the narrator’s voice is powerful.  Actually, as I listened to my story on CD, I felt a chill come over me.  There’s something about hearing the words that makes it more real and eerie.  I’m glad you made it through the entire book.  I appreciate you sharing your difficulty in listening to it. I’m sure there are others who’ve felt the same.

I felt sad too when all my alters integrated, but once I realized I didn’t lose them, my ex-alters became a much loved additional part of me and made me who I am today.  One woman with a variety of talents and interests.  I’m never alone.  I carry all my alters within me; my alters are me.  Thank you for sharing your tears of sadness and happiness. I’m grateful to have survived with Dr. Baer’s help.  I’ve been blessed to receive Dr. Baer’s unconditional care.  I believe Dr. Baer was truly God sent.

Thank you for understanding my need for confidentiality.  I believe my story was important to share.  I feel it’s important for me to live without any added attention. Maybe some day I will reveal my true identity, but I don’t believe it’s necessary.  I’m not sure, but for now it’s best I keep my identity private to protect those close to me.  It’s important that I hurt no one in the process of sharing.  My family and friends mean the world to me.

I am touched that my story has touched you in the same way The Diary of Anne Frank has touched you.  That is such a wonderful compliment!  Thank you so much!

God Bless you, too!

Karen

Comment by Raymond on 24 Aug 2009 at 11:14 am

Hi Karen,

Can you give me an opinion? I am a male adult multiple with seven alters, my girlfriend is a multiple, she has 11 alters. We met at a meeting for people like us. I didn’t think it was a good idea to date her but one of my alters did and had sex with her. During sex another alter of her’s came out and accused me of rapeing her. I know it sounds crazy. I’m not feeling right about her anymore. She wants to continue our relationship but what if it happens again? Can I be arrested for rapeing a child alter when I started having sex with an adult? Should I break up with her? Should I continue to go to support group meetings if she’s there? Have you ever gone to a multiple support group? If you met another multiple would you date him? Is there some kind of law that two multiple people shouldn’t date? I know I have lot’s of questions for you but your opinion would be most helpful.

Thank you,

Raymond

Dear Raymond,

Thank you for sharing your story. I am touched that you value my opinion and hope that I can be of some help.  However, I’m not a counselor and can’t give advice.  I never attended a support group for multiples so I can’t really say whether or not I would date someone in one.

In my opinion, if I were you, I would trust my instincts.  I believe you know what to do but are afraid.  I know it’s difficult to not hurt your friend’s feelings, but it can’t be good if you don’t wish to share your true feelings with her.  Maybe both of you need to heal first.  You didn’t mentioned any plans for integration of your alters, so I assume you didn’t get that far into therapy.  Please take time to heal.

I’m not sure about the legal issues of one of your friend’s alters pursuing rape charges against you. It seems to be a very complex issue, and one that I would stay clear of. Please do what you think is best for you. If you feel that the support group would become uncomfortable, then don’t attend. If the support group is helpful to your healing, then attend and try to discuss your discomfort with a qualified therapist.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your journey.

Karen

Comment by Goldie on 24 Aug 2009 at 6:41 pm

Karen!

I am so excited to have found you! How do you know how to answer all these questions? I mean, who taught you to write? Did you train to be a columnist? Where can I write to Richard Baer? Do you need to take drugs when you go back and answer all of our tedious questions? Do you have a questions or questions that trouble you? I would need a tranquilizer gun and shoot myself if I were you. Does Oprah read these que and a’s? Love you dearly! Love Richard Baer too! Heard it in the news that Richard Baer is amazing. Do you think he’s amazing? Where is he lately? I mean he’s never around. I thought he was going to be a regular on some kind of radio show? He didn’t die, did he?

Great to know you!

Goldie

Dear Goldie,

WOW! I don’t think anyone’s ever been as excited as you to find me!  Thanks for the great boost of confidence!  I can’t explain how I answer all these questions, but I do wholeheartedly and love it!  I answer one at a time and I don’t look back or add up how many I’ve answered.  I just keep moving forward and answer each one as they come in.  I don’t have any ill effects from answering them, but I admit sometimes I’m exhausted afterwards. When that happens, I just take a break for about fifteen minutes and I’m ready to go again.

No, I never took a writing class, though I’ve written my entire life.  I’ve always journaled; since I learned to write.  It’s a natural part of who I am.  I’m not sure, but I believe I express more in my writing than I can verbally.  I’d love to be a columnist.  Recently, I enrolled in a creative writing class for fun.  I’m not interested in changing who I am, just improving on what I love to do.

I laughed when you asked whether I needed to take drugs in order to write.  No, if I took drugs, I wouldn’t be able to write at all!  All that I write comes out naturally and quickly.  All the thoughts are right there, up front in my mind as soon as I need them.  I never think a lot about my answers; I just answer.   No question is too tedious or unanswerable.  If someone asks a question, I’ll try my best to give  them an answer. Tranquilizer gun? That’s funny!

I have no idea whether Oprah reads these questions and my answers.  I’m not even sure she knows who I am, what I do here on my blog, or the help I try to give those around the world who write me here and on Facebook.  Dr. Baer has sent Oprah a copy of our book.  Unfortunately, we haven’t heard back from her.  Maybe some day.  If my story was meant to be shared on Oprah, God willing, it will be.

Thank you for loving me and Dr. Baer.  And yes, he is amazing!  Dr. Baer is alive and well, but has not done any recent interviews.  If asked, I’m sure he would.   Dr. Baer’s not a regular on any radio show, but he did over sixty radio interviews when Switching Time was first published.  You can contact him on Facebook.

Great to hear from you! Have a great day!

Karen

Comment by K3 on 24 Aug 2009 at 8:03 pm

hae bee told many times over the years tat i should write a book ofmy experiences. I have the story, just ned someone to write it. Our abuse, the foster homes, girls home, the unbelievable adventues. How does one get started?

Dear K3,

I believe you can do whatever you want to do, including write your own story.  Keep writing and one day all those journals and written words will start forming into a book. When you are ready, and feel that you can move forward, it will happen.  Writing a book takes time and patience and many years of writing.  It’s hard work but very healing. Sounds like you have much to write about.  I would begin today.  Allow your thoughts to flow, worry about the details later.

I write everyday.  Some days I may have a few posted notes with words scribbled on them to trigger a thought or memory that I can go back and write about at a later time. Usually my written words trigger what I want to write about and that works for me.  It’s important to keep it up.

Being a multiple, as I once was, is an asset.  We never forget a memory or anything said; all is simply fragmented until integration.  As in a puzzle with many pieces that will fit together form one whole beautiful piece.  Save each note written by your alters.  Don’t look back and try to analyze anything you have written at this time, just simply keep writing.

During my years of therapy, writing saved my life.  I would vent on paper, never reading what I had written.  I put my pages in an envelope, stamped it and mailed it off to Dr. Baer.  I’d feel relieved, as if I just sent my pain away.  I also journaled everyday.  So keep on writing all those horrible thoughts, mixed feelings, and blessings.  I believe writing will help with your healing.

Wishing you all my best, and looking forward to hearing more as you write your story.

Karen