Comment by Vivica on 05 Jan 2010 at 4:19 pm

Hello Karen,

I am a student interested in becoming a psychologist. I read most of your answers below after reading “A Life in Pieces”. In high school you appear to have changed for the better after a revelation came to you that you were abused. I admire your courage to take stand for yourself. I have one question? What else happened during your teenage years that lessened the abuse you suffered by your father?

I am proud to know you thru this blog. Thank you kindly.

Vivica, UK

Dear Vivica,

Thank you for your question. Yes, there were more than a few changes in my life during my high school years that lessened my abuse. For one, my father suffered a stroke during my sophomore year that decreased his ability to hurt me. I watched this aggressive manipulative man become dependent on his family to eat and take care of himself. During the several months it took for my father to recover, he changed. I became stronger, and he withdrew from me in fear that I would now retaliate and expose him. I never did, but he now believed me to be a threat. The table had slightly turned. My father continued to be verbally abusive, most likely whenever he didn’t get his way. My siblings and I bonded and fought for ourselves. My father never fully came back to his old self. He had become too weak from his illness. I was free from sexual abuse at last.

There are many changes that happen as we mature and grow. For me, high school proved to be a new awakening. I learned more about life, people, who I was, and what kind of person I wanted to be. I learned to be kind despite the cruelty bestowed upon me. I was never a bad child. I was a compliant child and harm came my way. I survived and grew with alter help and by absorbing the good in people that I’d come to know through the years. High School was a blessing; I loved my teachers and they were fond of me. I gained strength during those years while continuing to balance my fragmented life.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and for being proud of me.

Karen

Comment by Wendy on 15 Jan 2010 at 12:14 pm

karen,
how are you? i am gena, a alter, trying to decide how to end my life. i am twelve and if i end my life the others will be better off without me. the owner of our body is thirty five and there are six of us. me, zac 15, louie 6, josie belle, 3, penny 33 and joanie 35. what can i do to go away without hurting the others? i don’t feel well. Our doctor wants to talk to me but I don’t want to talk to him. I never come out. Don’t trust him. Don’t like him to. We read book about you, how did everybody learn to like dr. baer? i am important. you are important to me. if you tell me to talk i will.

Wendy

Dear Gena, Wendy and family,

Thank you for writing to me! Gena, at twelve you may not realize that if you end your own life you will end the lives of all of the alters including the one who harbors you. All alters will die. You, Zac, Louie, Josie Belle, Penny, Joanie and Wendy.  No one will be better off because no one will be left to exist and carry on. Please know that you are only one part of a complex system that needs each one of you for survival. In other words, you can’t end your life without hurting the others.

Please be brave and speak to your therapist. I believe he will help you understand what you can look forward to when you and the others integrate and all merge into one. It’s amazing Gena, there will be peace, you’ll no longer carry your pain alone. You will have a sense of calm that is remarkable and free of past abuse. Your pain will be diluted.

I understand how difficult it is to trust your doctor. I’ve been there, too! I didn’t exactly like Dr. Baer the first time we met. I didn’t share my past with him immediately. It took time for me and my alters to build trust with him. Once we realized Dr. Baer was a benefit to us and had every good intention to hear us, we developed an unbreakable bond of trust. Once I knew he wasn’t going to give up on us I felt a sense of calm. It was at that time that my alters and I shared and accepted him to help us on our journey to wellness. It’s takes time and teamwork to heal. Sometimes you need to take a chance in order to move forward.

Wishing you a safe and healing journey. I have faith in you. I believe you can do this.

Karen

Comment by Loretta on 15 Jan 2010 at 12:09 pm

Karen,

Can you please post a picture of you with the tumor written about in the book? I am a student and thought it would be cool to see that? Thank you. You are phenomenal. Your courage and strength here and on facebook inspire me.

Loretta
, Jackson, TN

Dear Loretta,

My tumor was not that interesting. It covered part of one eye and protruded outward and was a non-appealing facial deformity. The tumor went though my eye socket and rested on the outer layer of my brain. It was removed just before my second birthday.

My parents often kept me hidden to avoid stares and questions. My parents also led me to believe that I would die at an early age because of the tumor. As an adult, I learned my tumor was benign, not life threatening, and would never have caused my death. It simply wasn’t nice to look at.

I have one picture of me at 16 months, before my tumor reached it’s full growth, that I will post on my Facebook profile.

Thank you for your curiosity. Please know that what’s important is not the fact that I had this facial deformity, caused by a benign tumor; it’s the fact that my parents chose to use my tumor as a way to control and abuse me. Throughout my childhood, I was led to believe my tumor and surgery caused all their financial woes and I owed them for that. That was abuse in itself.

Karen

Comment by Adam on 15 Jan 2010 at 10:33 am Hey Richard & Karen!
 Amazing story! I am a student of psychology pre-med. I am fascinated with your story and how the brain can protect an abuse victim. My question for you Karen is: While suffering headaches did you also have delusions or visions of past abuse simultaneously? Richard, Did Karen suffer headaches while under hypnosis? Did she suffer after each session? How long did it take Karen to re-group once her session completed? Do you believe hypnosis was helpful or hindered Karen’s healing? 
Thank you. Richard, your writing is exceptional. Karen, thank you for contributing to the medical world, your story is highly regarded to us psych students.

Adam

Dear Adam,

Thank you for your thought provoking questions! My headaches came and went at all different times. I recall I suffered headaches almost all the time. Sometimes I would recall a painful memory during a headache, and then try to dismiss that memory and deal with the pain as if it were just the headache. During a headache I never suffered delusions. Switching from one alter to another would cause headaches, as would stress and feeling overwhelmed with reality and memory recall. I believe my headaches were tension headaches.

Dr. Baer said during hypnosis my headaches would disappear, only to return, lessened, after I came out of it.

Thank you for your compliments! I am glad to hear that Switching Time has become a challenging study for psychology and medical students. It is my hope to bring awareness and knowledge while encouraging hope through sharing my story.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your studies.

Karen

Comment by Lorna on 14 Jan 2010 at 12:14 am

Dear Karen,

Thank you for answering questions to teach us about multiple personality disorder. I was mis-diagnosed with mpd. I didn’t trust my therapist and found another one but not before I read your book. Your book is the greatest book ever written! It was Dr. Baer’s writing that made me recognize the mis-diagnosis. ST was a real eye opener for me. My therapist was comparing me to you Karen. He had your book in his office. He said to me “I will use the same technique psychiatrist Richard Baer used on Karen Overhill”. My warning came when he walked over to his bookcase and removed your book which was post-it note flagged on over fifty pages. He started flipping pages and reading right from the book. He said I told him the same thing when I didn’t. Where can I report him? I know he was trying to make me a mpd patient. My new therapist is great. I have been in therapy for six months and it’s coming to an end. I was never abused as a child but raped by my boyfriend a year ago and became severly depressed. I suffered from depression not mpd. Thank you Dr. Baer. Thank you Karen. If it weren’t for ST I may never have paid attention to the signs you spoke of and falsely believe my father raped me when he didn’t.

Lorna

Dear Lorna,

Thank you for sharing! I believe you are very wise to recognize that your diagnosis didn’t seem right. I am glad to hear you didn’t stay in that unsafe therapeutic relationship and chose to seek help elsewhere. That is such an amazing act of maturity.

How sad to hear that your old therapist used our book as an ill-advised guide to treat multiple personality disorder by force-feeding the illness into an unsuspecting patient. Dr. Baer and I hope to bring awareness, but never intended for our story to be used as a medical guide to treat the illness. Switching Time came from our journey together to heal me. That psychiatrist was wrong in pushing his thoughts onto you and having you believe you were raped by your father.

I’m not sure but I believe you can report your therapist to the Board of Ethics if you wish, but Dr Baer thinks his problem may be that he is really not sufficiently well trained with these types of issues.  Dr. Baer suggests that if what you say is accurate, your ex-therapist should seek supervision on cases like yours.

Thank you for being strong by moving away from a potentially harmful relationship. I am sorry your boyfriend raped you, (keep away from him, too!) but I’m glad you have completed therapy and feel better about yourself.

Wishing you much happiness in your future. Trust your instincts as you have, chances are you’ll always be right.

Karen

Comment by Missy on 13 Jan 2010 at 11:48 pm

Hi Karen,

No questions today. Just sending you a hug. I wanted to let you know that you mean so much to me. I have been blessed by your story. I was living with regret for letting my abusers get away with everything. But your story gave me hope, Thank you.

Missy

Dallas, TX

Dear Missy,

Hug received! Sending one back to you! Thank you so much for caring and sharing! Your kind thoughts mean the world to me.

I’m glad my story gave you hope. Please know that you were a victim and not to blame for your being abused. I believe your abusers will be punished in their own way. Your abusers won’t get away with anything.

Wishing you all my best as you continue your healing to wellness.

Karen

Comment by Chica on 12 Jan 2010 at 11:53 pm

Dear Karen,

During your episodes of switching did you ever fear that you were evil? Did you believe in demons taking over your soul? Do you believe in ghosts? Could all the above be a reason to dissociate and become a multiple personality person? Could you be evil and not know it? In the bible there is no mention of people like you so what do you think about that? I read possessed people are multiples. Why do you think God loves you when he allowed evil to enter you? Did anyone label you as an evil child at catholic school, the nuns or priests? Were you afraid your memory of rape came from the devil? I’m an atheist but since you have faith in your God of hurt I’m curious to why? How could you be a nice person after what you went through? It makes no sense to me. I am trying to understand you.

Thank you.

Chica

Idaho

Dear Chica,

No, I never feared that I was evil, although I was told I was by my father.  And I don’t believe demons had taken over my soul. There are no demons that cause multiplicity. It’s a mental coping mechanism to repeated abuse.

God loves me. This I know for sure. I’ve been grateful to receive the gift of a highly sophisticated coping mechanism, multiplicity. God is unable to change the evil motives in those who abuse. Somehow I always knew that I was guided and cared for by many guardian angels. I never feared being alone in the dark. I felt comforted whenever I was alone. I may have once doubted my faith, but I’ve been blessed time and again. It’s hard not to believe after all that I have overcome.

In Catholic school the nuns often misunderstood me. Once a nun asked me to write something on the board. I switched and kept writing without further permission. She deemed me evil and poured a bottle of Holy water over me. At that time I really felt evil. After all, a nun told me so. I cried that day and prayed. I felt a sense of calm come over me and knew I wasn’t evil.

Thank you for your questions. I am not evil; I am a survivor of abuse. Would it make a difference if I carried hatred and anger within me? I believe in being kind. I’ve been saved. I am grateful to be alive, and God willing, I will continue to help others.

Karen

Comment by Thomas on 11 Jan 2010 at 10:52 am

Karen, Love you! I would like to know what nourishes you and who nourishes you these days? I am absolutely thrilled to have read the journey of you and Dr. Richard Baer. You both give me hope! I never thought there were such care giving people and you and he have given of yourselves. Thank you! All the Best!

Thomas

San Diego, CA

Dear Thomas,

Interesting questions! Thank you for asking! I am nourished by kindness. I flourish when treated with respect. I have endured more than enough pain and can’t handle much pessimism. I do have a high tolerance level, but I still become drained by negative people. When I feel overwhelmed by negativism, I feel as if I’m dying. I need to always be on guard, protect myself, and stay away from people and things that can hurt me.

As a once abused woman, there are times I need to re-connect with positive people just to feel well. These connections nourish me. I feel nourished by listening, sharing, and reading the letters here on my blog, and on Facebook. I thrive on inspiration, good feeling, and giving hope. I try my best to maintain optimism at all times. It’s hard work, but possible. I believe in God and have faith in greater good.

I never imagined I’d find myself in a caring relationship until I gained that sense in therapy. I learned in therapy about trust. I learned that not all people are abusive. It took many years to let go of the pain of my past. I feel blessed and am forever grateful for Dr. Baer’s guidance.

Wishing you all my best.

Karen

Comment by Lucille on 10 Jan 2010 at 11:46 am

Karen,

I read your story and believe you are the first true multiple personality disorder documented case. I’ve read Sybil. I’ve watched the movie Three faces of Eve and even watched documentaries that have not satisfied my need for knowledge. BUT Karen you and Richard Baer did it! WOW! I get it! What is your opinion Karen on Sybil and Chris Sizemore? Have you ever met them? If you could tell me what your thoughts are on their stories I would be the happiest person around. Did you ever read their books? Did you believe the books? Dr. Baer didn’t act in the same manner as their psychiatrists, where’d he learn how to treat you? In Sybil’s story on a documentary I watch today called ‘The Unexplained’, it said Sybil’s replacement therapist while Dr. Wilbur vacationed picked up on make believe and untruth. Did you see this documentary? Look it up love to hear what you have to say. I am so pissed. This show The Unexplained was not well prepared for what they shown. Please thank Dr. Richard Baer. I am pleased to know their are doctors who don’t force feed their patients multiple personally disorder. I love him! Thank you Karen for being so f-in honest in your answers here. I love you! The world needed your story to be told. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so very much. Realism. Yes. It’s you guys!

Lucille

Dear Lucille,

Thank you for sharing. I searched for the show “The Unexplained” and found the documentary you mentioned. I agree, it’s not very informative about the illness, but there were interesting parts about Christine Sizemore and Sybil’s case. I’m not sure, after what was revealed on this show, whether Sybil was a true multiple. Of course, there were similarities to my experience. I never read all of Sybil. I found it disturbing and had to stop reading part way through. I did however watch the movie and felt it was overly dramatized and unreal. But I am no expert on multiplicity. I’m one woman who happens to be a recovered integrated multiple.

I never read any of Christine Sizemore’s books, but would like to some day. After my integration, Dr. Baer and I, together, watched the movie of her story The Three Faces of Eve. I felt her case to be more like mine. I could indentify with her more than with Sybil. I never met either one. If possible, I would like to meet Christine Sizemore.

I’m not sure what you are referring to comparing the way Dr. Baer has treated me with how other psychiatrists do. I believe Dr. Baer treated me the way he felt best suited me. There aren’t many accurate accounts of multiple personality and its treatment. That’s the reason Dr. Baer wrote my story. We worked together for over eighteen years and have documented all of my story. We most certainly may have the only complete, from start to finish, documentation of the treatment of a patient with multiple personality disorder. If there are others, I am not aware of them.

Thank you for your support and for sharing your confidence in my story. Dr. Baer provided me with safe, consistent, and unconditional care, and never once put me in harms way or sensationalized my past abuse. Whatever I have shared in my sessions came from the real pain I experienced as a sexually abused child.  I was lucky to fall into the right hands. I believe my story was meant to be shared, debated, and analyzed.

Dr. Baer and I welcome all questions. For us, truth brings knowledge, knowledge brings awareness, and awareness brings a better way to treat those who, like me, endured repeated trauma and dissociation. I believe in encouraging hope through sharing my story.

Thank you again for all your kind compliments! I will pass your wishes on to Dr. Baer. I’m sure he will be excited to hear your enthusiasm and vote of respect for his work with me.

Karen

Comment by Ally on 09 Jan 2010 at 6:10 pm

i am a therapist and wonder how you cope today

Dear Ally,

I cope the best I can. I try my best to stay optimistic each day, even when dark thoughts try to take hold of me. I move forward with confidence and personal assurance that my past can’t control me anymore. After spending a child’s lifetime being abused, it feels great to be able to put that pain behind me. I am no longer a victim or think in a child-like way. I am an adult woman and able to process my feelings in an adult way. I am my best self.

Please know that as a woman who has once been abused, life will continue to be a challenge for me. I believe all who have once suffered from abuse face challenges that most people never understand. Therapy helps but doesn’t remove what happened.

Making a difference, sharing and having faith, helps me get through each day. For me, simply living is a miracle. I am not perfect. I have my own trials that continue to test me, but I am free. I’ll never go back to being that child who once suffered horrific abuse.

Thank you for being curious and for your question.

Karen